How Do You Handle Time Outs

[Unregistered]

How do you do time outs? I do a minute per age and time starts when the child sits and is quiet. A dcm told me her sons behavoral therapist said if he listened and goes to time out he doesn't have to sit the full three minutes. I think not because if will figure out if I go sit and comply I won't have to do my time. You do the crime you pay the time that's my rule!

[Michael]

More threads on Time Outs: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=time+out

[Leigh]

When I use them (and they are last-resort), I try to use them as an opportunity for an out-of-control child to gain control. When they are in control of their emotions and their bodies, they're excused.

[Blackcat31]

How do you do time outs? I do a minute per age and time starts when the child sits and is quiet. A dcm told me her sons behavoral therapist said if he listened and goes to time out he doesn't have to sit the full three minutes. I think not because if will figure out if I go sit and comply I won't have to do my time. You do the crime you pay the time that's my rule!

I would let mom worry about what the child's therapist said unless it is an expectation they have for you and it isn't cohesive with your rules.

In that case, I would simply tell them your reasoning for the rules you have and whether or not you are open to negotiation in regards to how you discipline the kids in your care.

Personally, I don't use time-outs at all as I don't think they are effective or educational at all are really no different than jail. It teaches the child nothing.

I redirect, remove from the activity or group, remove a privilege and/or use discussion as my choice of consequences.

[Controlled Chaos]

I went through at time out phase a few years ago (it was an attempt to control a very disruptive/aggressive little boy). I used to the minute per age thing and the time started when they were sitting quietly. I have decided I don't like it as a regular discipline tool. I rarely use it.

Now I hardly ever use it. My dh threatened out 3yo with time out last night and ds looked at me funny, he wasn't even sure what his dad was talking about

Now, if I have redirected a child many time, I will give them "time alone" with an activity at a table, or their own blanket on the floor. If a child is aggressive towards another child or screaming/tantruming I will have them sit away from the group in a safe place until they are ready to rejoin. There isn't a time limit.

[daycare]

I would let mom worry about what the child's therapist said unless it is an expectation they have for you and it isn't cohesive with your rules.

In that case, I would simply tell them your reasoning for the rules you have and whether or not you are open to negotiation in regards to how you discipline the kids in your care.

Personally, I don't use time-outs at all as I don't think they are effective or educational at all are really no different than jail. It teaches the child nothing.

I redirect, remove from the activity or group, remove a privilege and/or use discussion as my choice of consequences.

ditto on this...... However, we do take breaks. If you scream cry then you can go take a break and calm down, but its not time out. You can come back when you are done screaming. Someone will be there to give you a hug on the other end and let you know that you are ok.

I don't think time out works. I believe what does work is natural consequences.

you fight over the blocks, the blocks get taken away and you need to find something else to play with.

you kick someones blocks over, you get a rug to play without your friends. Rugs get lonely after awhile, especially when you see everyone else having a great time off the rug.

[MsLisa]

When I use them (and they are last-resort), I try to use them as an opportunity for an out-of-control child to gain control. When they are in control of their emotions and their bodies, they're excused.

I do exactly this for my school-agers!

I give them one warning of the rule they're breaking and if they continue or simply cannot control themselves (physically and/or emotionally) then they sit in my "Think Tank". Its a comfy saucer chair by the door and stay there till I see them regain themselves. Sometimes its quick, sometimes its a few minutes.

If that doesn't work or they simply refuse to even go sit its an immediate note home. I've only ever gotten that far 3 times. Most stop the moment they are on yellow (warning) cause they know I'm now watching them more closely.

[Unregistered]

If that doesn't work or they simply refuse to even go sit its an immediate note home. I've only ever gotten that far 3 times. Most stop the moment they are on yellow (warning) cause they know I'm now watching them more closely.

What do you do if they refuse?
I termed a dcb for this.

[MsLisa]

What do you do if they refuse?
I termed a dcb for this.

I firmly let them know that they have the choice to sit in that chair right now or I am sending a note home. Still refusing this I begin filling out my note without another word, fold it, place it by the sign out clipboard with their name on it and leave it at that. Their choice, their consequence. A note home also equals the lose all electronic and Gym privileges that day and for the remaining week, which is gold to them.

The parent upon pick up usually reads it and almost immediately starts their punishment (or flat out screaming at their kid). I always get an apology from the parent. Like I said, i've only given out 3. The mere words "Do I need to send a note home?" and they stop & sit.


PS. My note is a premade, letting the parent know what rule was broken (I have 5) and I write exactly what they did to break it along side. I also put what strike it is at the top. If its the 2nd strike I remind them that one more is a suspension. The parents also have to sign it. I honor any parents personal punishment, such as no electronics for X amount of days on top of my own.

If they are violent or beyond any control, they are sent to my bosses office and get a phone call home immediately. Extremely rare though.

[Thriftylady]

I try to be careful not to over use time out. I don't really use it often at all. When I do, my rule is one minute per year of age. Sometimes though when we have time out, it is everyone gets a quiet, independent activity for 15 minutes or so such as puzzles, because Miss Thrifty needs a time out .

[e.j.]

I rarely use time outs but when I do, I tell the child that I'm having him sit away from his friends so he can calm down. I tell him when he's calm and thinks he can behave, he can go back to playing with his friends. It's funny how much longer some kids will sit - some longer than I would have had them sit!