Just Curious About Centers And Difficult Children

[Josiegirl]

Being an in home provider, if a child or dcf becomes too much to handle, we can let them go. But what does a center do? Do you deal with it until they age out? How does that affect the staff and other kids/families? What happens if your payment is always slow to come or a child consistently bites or whatever the scenario is?

I'm just curious this a.m.

[Shell]

When I worked at centers for over a decade, I never once saw a child that was asked to leave (I worked at at least 3 different ones, too).
I don't mean to generalize, because I know it can be offensive to the good women that run/work at great centers, but I mostly worked at corporate ones, and they had us teachers deal with behaviors that I would have immediately termed for- I'm talking aggressive kids that hit and spat at teachers, would run over to a group of children playing and begin hitting and kicking and screaming- the type of kids that really need help from trained individuals, those with experience with behavioral disorders.
As teachers, we passed the kids from classroom to classroom in hopes that "older" kids would help with modeling good behavior or "younger" kids would make them a role model and step up. Directors rarely helped out.
Some of my friends had been kicked, scratched, etc and told they just needed to re-arrange their classroom space and that would solve everything :confused:
Teachers were blamed in order to keep on kids.
Maybe others have more positive experiences?
I also was kicked in the stomach by an aggressive child while pregnant. My director said it was fine because the baby is well insulated.
I nearly exploded and told her it was absolutely unacceptable, and what were they going to do about this child?!
Well, he lasted two more years and about four more teachers longer than me ::

[Shell]

I also wanted to add: a few years ago, I worked in a public school after school program, and the most aggressive child was a child that I knew (but never had as a student) from one of the centers where I worked!
They asked him to leave the program, and this was a real awakening for me- like, we don't have to keep dealing with this type of behavior?!
I was happy to see a program that said no more to aggressive kids that hurt and scared others. I believe they got him help with a therapist.

[Baby Beluga]

I also wanted to add: a few years ago, I worked in a public school after school program, and the most aggressive child was a child that I knew (but never had as a student) from one of the centers where I worked!
They asked him to leave the program, and this was a real awakening for me- like, we don't have to keep dealing with this type of behavior?!
I was happy to see a program that said no more to aggressive kids that hurt and scared others. I believe they got him help with a therapist.

This was how I felt when I first joined this forum.

I worked in centers for many many years and have only seen one child be asked to leave. Some of the other children had absolutely horrendous behavior and truly needed help. They could have likely thrived with the proper help and environment but the administration did not want to ask them to leave for enrollment purposes.

When I joined this forum terming because of a parent or child's behavior was a very foreign concept. On a different but similar note, not accepting a family because they are not a good fit for the program was also a new concept. In the centers I have worked at they accepted anyone and everyone, again because of enrollment.

[Leigh]

We have a center here where the worst of the worst end up. Run by very capable people, who possess an amazing amount of patience. I never hear of a kid getting kicked out of there. Last week, I heard that one that I termed for biting (nearly 5 now) bit one of his providers 3 times in 2 weeks. The kid hits, kicks, punches, bites, spits-you name an undesirable behavior, and that kid does it. He's still there, even though everyone who cares for him wishes he weren't. Even though the directors are well aware that they can't control this child's behavior, they think that supervision will keep the other kids safe. Unless he has his own adult (or 2), that isn't going to happen. Likely, though, that the kids he is hurting are kids who hurt other kids, too. It's sad, but that's where the kids end up when no one else will take care of them.

[permanentvacation]

I worked at 3 centers. One just for a day (it was a DANGEROUS place!), the other for a week (it was too chaotic for me) and the other for almost a year. The one I was at for about at year, I was a floater and worked in every room ages 6 weeks - school-agers, filled in as an aide or teacher in every room, the office, the kitchen, and helped with custodial work.

What they did there with the children who were a bit much to handle, was to send to the office when their teacher in their regular room had enough of the child. After being in the office for a while, they'd try to send the child back to his/her regular room. If that teacher still didn't want him/her back, they'd just flop the child from room to room as he/she drove each teacher too nuts and she kicked him/her out. But, at the end of the day, the child would ALWAYS be in his/her correct room and the teacher would tell his/her mother what a GREAT day he/she had. :confused: They kept the children no matter what just to keep the money coming in!

That same center, however, had about 1/3 of it's clients in at least a month's arrears (behind in at least a month's worth of payments!) and they just let them keep coming and racking up back payments. I guess eventually, the parents would catch their payments up.

[kendallina]

The private pay centers that I've worked for did not term kids, I had not even heard of that then. When I was a supervisor for a state-funded preschool I termed three kids for behavior and one that I suggested it was maybe not a good fit and she left on her own.

[melilley]

I worked for 3 centers for a period of 14 years. I only remember one child getting kicked out and that was for biting, there may have been more, but I honestly don't think so. They were all corporate centers and they kept kids and worked with parents no matter what, it was usually all about the money and not from my directors, but the higher ups.

[melilley]

Actually, I do remember one other child getting kicked out, well actually the parent was kicked out. She was aggressive with our director one day, she was one of those "entitled" women.

[Unregistered]

I worked at two different centers in the last year and both had termed kids. One right before I started and one chiild in my class.

[MsLisa]

I've been work for a YMCA Aftercare/After school program for a half a year now. Before I came it was absolute chaos. Kids so violent and unruly i'm surprised it stayed open. Didn't help that it was ran by young idiots who all have left since (and so has most of those kids).

So since i've been here, we've just got rid of 2 who were completely disrespectful, but not terminated for that reason. They owed almost $2,000 in payments before they were removed and handed over to collections. Why wait that long you ask? We generally can't terminate a kid unless they are a complete danger to everyone or have kids to replace them as we can't afford to drop enrollment.

As of now, my boss has gotten a little stricter about this stuff, being we have full enrollment and a waiting list (thanks to me!!). If a child gets 3 notes home from me, they are suspended until we have a parent conference. We just added that any sort of violence will immediately result in a note home. So a lot of these kids have shaped up since they learned Ms. Lisa doesn't play around. Haven't had to term a kid since those 2 above.

[unregistered]

I own a small center in a small town. I do take all children. Not just the well behaved ones. What happens to those kids who can't find care in a quality situation? It isn't about the money for me. It's about helping families. Often we see children that come into our center make huge strides and turn their behavior around. Some kids need a lot more time.

I also have families that are involved in the foster care system. Many of these kids are emotionally a mess. They act out. Do I not take them because they are challenging? It's not their fault they were pulled from their home and placed in foster care.

I joined this forum looking for support. I think we need to be careful how we generalize about home care and center care. Yes centers have to keep in mind enrollment. But so do homes. I used to be in home. Money is important. But most of us realize we didn't get into this profession for the $$. It's about the kids and making a difference.

[Crystal]

I think as FCC's we have a little more "power" to term when we feel it is needed, yet I believe the majority do not do it, for the same reason centers don't. I see posts on this forum every day by FCCP's complaining about children's and parent's atrocious behavior, yet also stating that they cannot term due to financial needs.

[Josiegirl]

I own a small center in a small town. I do take all children. Not just the well behaved ones. What happens to those kids who can't find care in a quality situation? It isn't about the money for me. It's about helping families. Often we see children that come into our center make huge strides and turn their behavior around. Some kids need a lot more time.

I also have families that are involved in the foster care system. Many of these kids are emotionally a mess. They act out. Do I not take them because they are challenging? It's not their fault they were pulled from their home and placed in foster care.

I joined this forum looking for support. I think we need to be careful how we generalize about home care and center care. Yes centers have to keep in mind enrollment. But so do homes. I used to be in home. Money is important. But most of us realize we didn't get into this profession for the $$. It's about the kids and making a difference.

I do agree with you BUT in centers there are usually many people working with each group of children. In an in-home usually there is one, we have no one else to 'send them' to when we need a time-out ourselves. It has more to do with how it's affecting the whole group.
Right now I'm on the edge of terming/not terming a 7 yo dcb. I REALLY do not want to do it because I can only imagine how it makes a family and child feel. Yes, the $ is important, of course. And if I do it, it means I have failed him in some way. He's not a 'bad' kid, it's a tough mix for this particular group.
Let's face it, a forum is a place to come to, for advice, letting off steam, having others help us see 'both sides of the coin', thinking outside the box, and more.
The only reason I brought the question up was how do centers deal with a more challenging child because(at least from what I've seen)kids tend to stay there longer than in homes. I certainly don't like giving up on a child, they're still learning and growing. We could be that one person in their life to make a change for them. But in trying to be that one person, we cannot fail the others. It's a challenge for all.

[racemom]

I do agree with you BUT in centers there are usually many people working with each group of children. In an in-home usually there is one, we have no one else to 'send them' to when we need a time-out ourselves. It has more to do with how it's affecting the whole group.
Right now I'm on the edge of terming/not terming a 7 yo dcb. I REALLY do not want to do it because I can only imagine how it makes a family and child feel. Yes, the $ is important, of course. And if I do it, it means I have failed him in some way. He's not a 'bad' kid, it's a tough mix for this particular group.
Let's face it, a forum is a place to come to, for advice, letting off steam, having others help us see 'both sides of the coin', thinking outside the box, and more.
The only reason I brought the question up was how do centers deal with a more challenging child because(at least from what I've seen)kids tend to stay there longer than in homes. I certainly don't like giving up on a child, they're still learning and growing. We could be that one person in their life to make a change for them. But in trying to be that one person, we cannot fail the others. It's a challenge for all.

i don't think she was trying to make in home daycare providers feel bad about terming. But some home providers on here make it seem like a center is a terrible, greedy place, that only care about money. I agree with this center owner, we are less likely to kick a child out, some times we are their only stable place.
We also have children who have no discipline, and we are the only place they have rules to follow. My director has accepted children into care who have been kicked out of all other daycares in town, and no, it wasn't for the money. It was for the parent sitting in her office crying because she has to work and no one else would accept her son. So yes, I think centers are more likely to keep difficult children, but it's not all about money.