Would You Say Something?

[Unregistered]

I would say something.

I know the behavior of the child on the parent's watch is their issue but this would not be something I was comfortable being an audience to day in and day out... not to mention the liability of it all.....

I would say something to mom along the lines of "We practice respect and manners here and the daily show that DCB puts on when being asked to comply during drop off is getting out of hand and is completely unnecessary. DCM, I am expecting you to take control of your child. I am FULLY expecting you to be the authority while you are on MY property.

DCB can NOT continue to run rampant outside and around my yard at pick up. If he gets hurt while running from you, I am responsible and I will no longer tolerate what has been happening. From now on, I expect you to physically take his hand (or carry him if he is younger) and physically accompany him to and from the car. He is NOT to let go of your hand. If this is not something you can manage, I am not sure I will be able to continue providing services as manners, proper behavior and respect towards adults (especially to parents) is something I strive to teach and uphold to the kids attending my program.


If you are needing tips, pointers or suggestions on how this can be managed properly, let me know."


...and I would be saying this TO mom with a FIRM voice that leaves NO room for misunderstanding or passive-aggressive responses.

Have you heard of the bye bye outside program?
I have corrected children's behavior in front of parents by saying "You are not allowed to act like that, or do XXL, speak to people like that, while at daycare or on my property. You need to follow daycare rules at all times while on daycare property."

[Blackcat31]

Have you heard of the bye bye outside program?
I have corrected children's behavior in front of parents by saying "You are not allowed to act like that, or do XXL, speak to people like that, while at daycare or on my property. You need to follow daycare rules at all times while on daycare property."

Are you asking me or the OP about the "Buh-Bye Outside" method?

If you are asking me, yes...I've heard of it. The provider that created the method and I are good friends in real life. We chat regularly so I am familiar with it.

I however, do not implement that method as I am a VERY upfront person and address issues DIRECTLY with the parents and FULLY expect the parents to step up and parent their child while they are on my property during drop off/pick up times.

I would term a family that continued to allow this type of behavior to continue but I am also in the position to replace easily as well so that plays a part in what I would do if I were in the OP's position.

[Bookworm]

I call the child out right in front of the parent.
"Elizabeth Marie, that is unacceptable behavior. You will sit in your car seat until mom takes your hand and then follow her inside. Do you understand those words?"
I even put it in my contract so the parent isn't surprised. Many parents don't know HOW to TELL a child what to do. We don't do the "ask" if they're ready to come inside here. They have many choices throughout the day but EVERY transition, activity, thought and direction doesn't have to involve a child's choice.
A child is still learning how to control impulses and body functions. They don't get to be the adult.

~While your child is in my home it is important that everyone understands – MY rules apply until you have gotten into your car and left the drive. The less confusion about who is in charge, the more comfortable everyone will be. It also eliminates the confusion about who should respond if a child needs direction. Please keep in mind that children tend to ‘act out’ when a parent is here.

I call out the child in front of the parent, too. Most parents say thanks and leave when we take over. The rest get mad and complain. That parent is then left to calm down/control their DCK on their own. I just look at the parent and tell them to come to our room when you're ready and walk away. There've been several occasions where I've had to pick a child up and put them in their car seat because they running around the center/parking lot and not listening.

[spud912]

Have you heard of the bye bye outside program?
I have corrected children's behavior in front of parents by saying "You are not allowed to act like that, or do XXL, speak to people like that, while at daycare or on my property. You need to follow daycare rules at all times while on daycare property."

Yes, I have heard of the bye outside program and incorporated it with this child a few months ago . It does work well when we are inside the house, but it doesn't change the fact that he is going from the back seat to the front and vice versa in the driveway.....or that he has free reign of my front yard at pick up. Both of these things could be safety concerns that I ultimately could be liable (like if he knocks the vehicle in gear or darts in the road before his mom has time to stop him).