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Anyone have a child who is constantly in someone else's face? I have a new guy, 3 y.o. who is a sweet boy, but VERY rowdy and constantly touching another child. If my infant is playing in the floor he will lay down on top of him. If I move the baby to a seat/jumparoo, he will squeeze his cheeks, kiss his face, "fist bump" his hand, etc. CONSTANTLY. I can't turn my back for a second. With the other kids his age he also tries to lay on top of them, kiss them, high five them, hug them, etc all day long. He's not being mean, but he's so rough that they end up getting hurt or crying. I'm not sure how to help him calm down and play nicely. He also takes toys from the other kids a lot, sometimes because he wants the toy, sometimes just to show them how to play with it his way. I'm wondering if maybe we have a impulse control issue? But how to deal with it other than constantly reminding him "hands to yourself?" I think for the most part he's trying to be kind so I don't want him to feel like he's always in trouble, but the other kids are upset by it so it obviously isn't okay to allow it.
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Hoola hoop him! Get out hoops and have him stay put to play. Rotate him through a set so he has different toys. "Tommy, this is YOUR space, we stay in our OWN space."
This will hopefully cut down on the constant "hands!" Reminders and may be a more positive approach to teaching boundaries. -
I love it! Thank you.Comment
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I've heard this before, but didn't think about it for this situation.Comment
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I second this....I don't have any hula hoops left the kids broke them all. I moved on to small Montessori style mats that they have to stay on. they are less attempting to mess with. well at least for my kids
I really love how well this works! great advise. PPComment
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Fantastic idea. If all else fails grab a big bath towelComment
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I think usually yes in these cases, it sounds like a problem with impulse control as well as a possible sensory issue - especially the 'laying on people' thing.
Perhaps some other sensory moves would help? Like jumping, swinging (if possible), laying and rolling under something heavy like a heavy blanket, carrying heavy things.
Some of those might help him for at least a little while.Comment
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I second the hula hoop for teaching kids space and personal boundaries but the behaviors this little guy is showing seem like dominant behaviors.
He is showing the others he is the alpha.
I would set some firm boundaries and start with having him open his arms out wide. Tell him he is not to go close enough to anyone that his arms/hands can reach.
If he learns the "visual" of personal space, he will begin to understand that he is NOT being nice but intrusive and other people don't like that.
I require the other kids to ask permission before they can high-five, fit bump, kiss, hug, etc in ANY way. If the other party can't verbally give permission, he needs to ask you.
He is a danger to the babies if he lays on them like that and I'd have to be pretty firm with him in order for me to feel comfortable enough leaving him alone in a room with anyone else.
I don't think it's a case of him being nice at all, I think its a display of dominance.
I'm betting he is an only or the youngest at home.Comment
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That actually makes sense to me because I was really listening to his conversations today & he gets angry anytime the other child doesn't want to play his way. He blocked my ds also 3 by putting both arms around him today b/c ds wanted to move to a new activity. I also saw him guarding a toy ( which I put a stop to), & heard him say "I won't play with you anymore" when things weren't going his way.
I didn't consciously put that together, but I did explain to him today that he was free to choose which toys to play with, but he didn't get to be the boss of how other children play. Thanks for pointing the dominant thing out. I think you're spot on. Oddly enough, he is the oldest of 2. He treats his younger brother the same way.Comment
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Black cat, his younger brother also tried to lay on my 6 mo & actually bit him his first day here. I was with them & turned to talk to another child & he just randomly leaned down and bit him. I was livid. Now I either wear/carry the baby or have him gated off from the others. (He's my only infant right now. Others are 2-4 y.o.) Do you think they are both trying to express dominance? Maybe neither is secure in their role at home? Just curious what you thought/suggested.Comment
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They are more than likely vying for the dominant position at home and that is why they are both doing that.
One does it, and the other learns to imitate the behaviors as a way of obtaining what they want...which is to be in charge.
I'd be curious as to what the parents think? What or how do the children play together at home? Does the older one entertain the others...kwim? (used to being the one that makes the rules of play amongst themselves etc)
The younger brother that is mimicking his older brother is one I would watch too as the older brothers dominant behavior is internally driven whereas the younger brother is simply copying him and that is usually when it gets hard to manage.
I'd try to implement a swift consequence for anytime you catch either one of them trying to physically control someone else or their play.Comment
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