Worried About Termination

**Shell** · 02-26-2015, 12:53 PM

I know it's not a popular opinion, as most folks prefer to be more straightforward, but I find you need to make up a good excuse.
Think about something that is non-negotiable for them (hours, days, only accepting full time, whatever), and let them know you need to make (x) change by (x) date. That way, they "know" the real reason, but you didn't say it, and they can't get mad.
The other approach is to be honest and deal with the backlash. People that break rules like this often break rules all over, and no one will be surprised.

I prefer the first method- give them the excuse, two weeks notice, and move on.

**laundrymom** · 02-26-2015, 12:54 PM

This is One reason we try to make it seem "better for their child" to move on. Good luck.
Somewhere there's a locks and keys description of.providers and kids. My breaks almost over so I can't search for it, but I wish you good luck. Terms are never easy.

**Blackcat31** · 02-26-2015, 12:56 PM

Originally posted by littlelionspreschool

Hi everyone,
I have recently had a big problem with one family in my care (custody issues and now issues with being dishonest about illnesses). I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on termination? I have only terminated one other family due to an incident involving multiple bitings and inappropriate behaviors. That termination went horribly....parents were furious and threatened me multiple times. I just don't want this termination to go the same way. I'm sure the last family I terminated bad mouthed me around town and I am afraid this mother will too. She is very vocal about her opinions and posts a lot of drama on Facebook as well. I just don't want her to ruin my good business reputation especially when I will be having 6 spots open at the end of summer (kids going to Kindergarten). Am I able to have her sign some kind of contract stating she will not slander my business? I honestly don't know if she would even sign it if I asked her too. I don't know what to do!!!

Any of these issues "fixable" so that care doesn't need to be terminated?

If not and you do terminate, the best thing to do is e-mail your licensor and give her a run down of the situation. Most the time if parents try to report you (even if untrue) the head's up to your licensor will save you a lot of trouble later.

I doubt you could have her sign anything but even if she didn't and slandered you, you could possibly threaten her with legal action if she does not cease and desist.

Otherwise, if she is merely the gossipy drama type person I've found that in my experience others rarely listen to those types and the ones who do are the types of clients you don't want anyways...kwim?

**mommyneedsadayoff** · 02-26-2015, 01:09 PM

I would keep it simple and do it on a friday. "I have experienced a change in my family/business life and will no longer be able to provide care for dck as of (date). You can bring them the next two weeks while you look for other care, or I can gather their belongings for you to take home today (I would have stuff gathered and ready to go). Leave it at that and if she pushes, just stick with simple. Yo don't have to explain yourself and it is best to not go into detail anyway. They get defensive and then it can turn ugly

**Play Care** · 02-26-2015, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by mommyneedsadayoff

I would keep it simple and do it on a friday. "I have experienced a change in my family/business life and will no longer be able to provide care for dck as of (date). You can bring them the next two weeks while you look for other care, or I can gather their belongings for you to take home today (I would have stuff gathered and ready to go). Leave it at that and if she pushes, just stick with simple. Yo don't have to explain yourself and it is best to not go into detail anyway. They get defensive and then it can turn ugly

This.

**hope** · 02-26-2015, 01:29 PM

BC is right! The dcm is doing you a favor by making sure none of her friends work with you. Would you want to watch this ladies best friends kid?

And making up an acceptable excuse is best IF you can convince her of it. Don't get caught in the lie. That truly is bad for business. Keep it simple and don't elaborate.

Good luck!

**Josiegirl** · 02-26-2015, 04:21 PM

Your written termination notice:
As of 3/10/2015, lalala child care will no longer be able to provide child care for your child. I feel it is no longer the best fit for your child.

Them: Are you kidding me? Why??
You: This child care is no longer the best fit for your child.
Them: But why?? What happened??
You: This child care is no longer the best fit for your child.
Them: Just tell me what happened, I have a right to know!!
You: This child care is no longer the best fit for your child.

Simple, true, cut and dry, doesn't leave any wiggle space for manipulation or negotiation. And you do NOT need to add anything else.

**Unregistered** · 02-26-2015, 04:37 PM

Originally posted by Shell

I know it's not a popular opinion, as most folks prefer to be more straightforward, but I find you need to make up a good excuse.
Think about something that is non-negotiable for them (hours, days, only accepting full time, whatever), and let them know you need to make (x) change by (x) date. That way, they "know" the real reason, but you didn't say it, and they can't get mad.
The other approach is to be honest and deal with the backlash. People that break rules like this often break rules all over, and no one will be surprised.

I prefer the first method- give them the excuse, two weeks notice, and move on.

I agree.

**littlelionspreschool** · 02-27-2015, 05:30 AM

I just feel bad because I know it's not in the best interest of the child to be terminated. This is her only stability, but I just can't handle dealing with the parents any more. I have had to be on the phone with the CDC, nurse hotline, Dept of Human Services, Dept of Health, etc. trying to figure out how I can get the answers on medical issues that the mother is withholding. Her and her child have some illness and all I know about it is some of the symptoms and that it is very contagious. Mom won't say what it is and won't let the Dad take the kid either. There is a lot of custody issues with this family that we have been put in the middle of, so the medical and custody issues would be my reason for having to terminate. I mean, the emotional stress has started to affect my ability to teach and care for the other kids. In the back of my mind I'm constantly wondering if one of the parents is going to show up, call, of text with more issues for me to have to deal with. I don't like being the middle man in this situation! :dislike:

**Unregistered** · 02-27-2015, 06:48 AM

I would have termed the minute she had an illness and refused to tell you about it. You should not have to go digging around for information. If she won't tell you, then buy-bye! Too much work and you need to feel good about your job, so worry about your self and what makes you happy and let the mom do what she is suppose to do and provide the stability. Sorry you are in this situtaion and best of luck to you!

**littlelionspreschool** · 02-27-2015, 01:10 PM

All my kids are napping so I thought I'd come back and respond.....I honestly just held out in the hopes that the mom would be forthcoming so I knew what was going on. It is clear to me now that the mother has no intention of telling me what the illness is. I am going to have to terminate. The parents haven't been here with the child all week (because I wouldn't allow her to come with an unknown illness), so how should I go about terminating? Send a letter in the mail? Call? I really don't want the parents to show up Monday thinking it's OK to bring the child back. I don't think a letter in the mail would get to her before Monday even though she lives in town. I don't really want to see her face to face when she's more than likely still contagious. This is a mess!

**Play Care** · 02-27-2015, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by littlelionspreschool

All my kids are napping so I thought I'd come back and respond.....I honestly just held out in the hopes that the mom would be forthcoming so I knew what was going on. It is clear to me now that the mother has no intention of telling me what the illness is. I am going to have to terminate. The parents haven't been here with the child all week (because I wouldn't allow her to come with an unknown illness), so how should I go about terminating? Send a letter in the mail? Call? I really don't want the parents to show up Monday thinking it's OK to bring the child back. I don't think a letter in the mail would get to her before Monday even though she lives in town. I don't really want to see her face to face when she's more than likely still contagious. This is a mess!

Do you email? You can always send an email and then print it out and send snail mail to follow up.

**littlelionspreschool** · 02-27-2015, 01:28 PM

No that is something I should probably start with parents though. Most parents contact me through texts/phone calls during the day and either text/Facebook messages after business hours. I would just like to "drop the bomb" in writing first before having to talk to the parent directly. I was reading on another thread not to state specific reasons for termination in the letter. I had planned on doing that, but now I think I will keep it very general for now. No matter how I do it, the mom is going to be furious and end up calling me, but maybe if she has a written notice she will not be as defensive as if I just call and tell her? I wish I could write in the termination letter to e-mail with any other questions of comments so I can have documentation of what she is saying. I'm sure there will be many angry words spoken from her. Last termination I did was about two years ago and did it face to face and was threatened on multiple occasions by both parents.

**Unregistered** · 02-27-2015, 01:38 PM

I know it ****s to call, but ti may be your best bet, because then you know she will have received the message and everything is on the table. Just text her and say "I need to talk to you about daycare, can you call me when you get time?". If she doesn't call or respond, then call her. If she makes no attempts to call you back, then text or FB the termination, and make it clear you will not be providing services on Monday or from here on out. Keep it simple. If you talk on the phone to her, just tell her, "Due to some changes in my personal life/business, I cannot watch dck anymore and will not be able to provide care for next week. I am sorry for the inconvenience and will send referrals your way to help you find other care." If she pushes, stick with the script! No details and don't let her bait you! If she does and it feels like it is going to get ugly, just say, you are sorry but you need to tend to your family and best wishes to you! BYE! Personally, if you fear she would come to your house and cause problems, it is best to keep another adult present if you can or at least be prepared for confrontation with your phone nearby if necessary. I would not let her back in my home again, though. The business relationship is over and she no longer has any right to be on your property, so make sure you stand your ground. Good luck!

Worried About Termination

Worried About Termination

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