I Screwed Myself Over

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

In October when I had decent amount of money in the bank and my husband had a job offer that was being processed I told dcm that I would not charge her for the days dcd kept kids home prior to deployment. I completely forgot about it because so much has happen since then. The job offer was retracted and the money was used to pay bills. Well husband got a new job a few weeks ago and the one child that was suppose to start this month mom decided to have family watch. Then another family did an immediate termination because I would give baby full range constantly during the day. So that cut my income by 250$ a week. Then we just had a snow storm so school was closed for a week. Dcm text me how many days do we owe for. I told her it was a normal pay period because I wasn't closed. Well of course mom text me back with what I said in October since dad leaves at the end of the week for a year. So now I have to **** it up and take a 400$ hit this month on top of everything else because of me trying to have a heart and understand military deployments. What I find amazing is that I have to text her to remind her to pay me but she remembered something I said in October. I did this to myself so I can only be upset with me. I just take it as another lesson learned and move on.

[Thriftylady]

If it makes you feel any better, I tend to let my heart get involved to much also and do the same things. I think it is hard for those of us in this business because we have the heart to do the work and that heart doesn't work well with business.

[CraftyMom]

In October when I had decent amount of money in the bank and my husband had a job offer that was being processed I told dcm that I would not charge her for the days dcd kept kids home prior to deployment. I completely forgot about it because so much has happen since then. The job offer was retracted and the money was used to pay bills. Well husband got a new job a few weeks ago and the one child that was suppose to start this month mom decided to have family watch. Then another family did an immediate termination because I would give baby full range constantly during the day. So that cut my income by 250$ a week. Then we just had a snow storm so school was closed for a week. Dcm text me how many days do we owe for. I told her it was a normal pay period because I wasn't closed. Well of course mom text me back with what I said in October since dad leaves at the end of the week for a year. So now I have to **** it up and take a 400$ hit this month on top of everything else because of me trying to have a heart and understand military deployments. What I find amazing is that I have to text her to remind her to pay me but she remembered something I said in October. I did this to myself so I can only be upset with me. I just take it as another lesson learned and move on.

Change it effective immediately so that doesn't happen again.

"Dear dcm, due to a change in circumstances I can no longer offer the agreement we had in October"

What were the conditions of your arrangement? Was this only for before the dad was deployed and kept the kids home? Was this a temporary arrangement? Or did you not discuss length?

Either way, make it clear that this arrangement is off the table going forward!

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

Change it effective immediately so that doesn't happen again.

"Dear dcm, due to a change in circumstances I can no longer offer the agreement we had in October"

What were the conditions of your arrangement? Was this only for before the dad was deployed and kept the kids home? Was this a temporary arrangement? Or did you not discuss length?

Either way, make it clear that this arrangement is off the table going forward!

It was only for this time. They will be leaving the middle of June either way because I refused to sign a form saying that her son lived here so he could go to school with my dd next September. Mom has already said that she wouldn't be able to drop them off at two different places in the morning. I recently changed my contract with my new family that just started that I get paid no matter what unless I close. I take the same times off each year so I'm able to plan for that time off.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

If it makes you feel any better, I tend to let my heart get involved to much also and do the same things. I think it is hard for those of us in this business because we have the heart to do the work and that heart doesn't work well with business.

I don't have a business mindset that I should and I allow myself to get taken advantage of constantly. I'm a big sap and wanna believe the good in people, but recently it shows what I see posted on here a lot families are gonna do what is best for them and I should too. My husband wants me to replace without siblings this time because like before they leave then I'm out two slots. We have a ton of "SAHM" charging 50-85 dollars a week so getting kids right now is awfully hard. This entire situation is my own fault. I became extremely friendly with this mom when I shouldn't have. I make excuses for her forgetting payment or being late because she is getting her hair done. My husband tells me I need to be friendly and my big hearted self with the kids and have a poker face with the parents.

[Shell]

You learn as you go. I've been at this about four years now (worked in schools and centers for decades), and I had to keep readjusting until it worked best for me. I also used to not charge a 2 child family for vacations, days off, etc- I lost a lot of money, but at the same time, it kept me a float when I was first starting out.
Moving forward, you know what you need and expect. Sometimes we put up with less than ideal situations just to keep the $ coming in. Then you know for next time how you want it to work!

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

You learn as you go. I've been at this about four years now (worked in schools and centers for decades), and I had to keep readjusting until it worked best for me. I also used to not charge a 2 child family for vacations, days off, etc- I lost a lot of money, but at the same time, it kept me a float when I was first starting out.
Moving forward, you know what you need and expect. Sometimes we put up with less than ideal situations just to keep the $ coming in. Then you know for next time how you want it to work!

I started 4 years ago this week. It has been a learn process the entire time. I use to charge one family only when they were here. It got to the point that mom would drop off and dad would pull in 15 min later and they wouldn't want to pay for the day. Then dad wouldn't have work so she wouldn't be here three-four days. I couldn't take on another child because I never knew when she was going to be here. I changed that with the next contract update. I'm gonna change it again to paying 52-weeks no matter what. I know a lot of providers in this area who have been doing this for decades and that is what they do. They said that way there is no confusion or hurt feelings.

[Blackcat31]

I don't have a business mindset that I should and I allow myself to get taken advantage of constantly. I'm a big sap and wanna believe the good in people, but recently it shows what I see posted on here a lot families are gonna do what is best for them and I should too. My husband wants me to replace without siblings this time because like before they leave then I'm out two slots. We have a ton of "SAHM" charging 50-85 dollars a week so getting kids right now is awfully hard. This entire situation is my own fault. I became extremely friendly with this mom when I shouldn't have. I make excuses for her forgetting payment or being late because she is getting her hair done. My husband tells me I need to be friendly and my big hearted self with the kids and have a poker face with the parents.

Your DH is giving you wise advice.

If you do continue to take sibling sets, it's wise to require a deposit PER child and/or require a 2 week notice PER child so if a family has 2 kids, they need to submit a 4 week notice of withdrawal.

Makes managing sibling sets easier.

I started 4 years ago this week. It has been a learn process the entire time. I use to charge one family only when they were here. It got to the point that mom would drop off and dad would pull in 15 min later and they wouldn't want to pay for the day. Then dad wouldn't have work so she wouldn't be here three-four days. I couldn't take on another child because I never knew when she was going to be here. I changed that with the next contract update. I'm gonna change it again to paying 52-weeks no matter what. I know a lot of providers in this area who have been doing this for decades and that is what they do. They said that way there is no confusion or hurt feelings.

ANY TIME a child sets foot on your property (even if for only 5 minutes) you should be charging a minimum.

I charge weekly according to enrollment. Families choose 3, 4 or 5 day options and must pay that minimum each week regardless of absences. IF they are 3 days a week and need to add a 4th day, it isn't a swap (of they missed one of their 3 days) it is an ADDED charge.

If a family works 3 days a week but it's a different 3 days, then they need access to the whole week therefore pay a full week rate. I have discounted a bit off the regular 5 day tuition amount before IF they stay with 3 days of care ONLY but it's only in extreme circumstances.

I have a pretty air tight policy manual for parents that eliminates some of the issues you are having (including the friendship part with parents ) and if you are interested I will share my handbook with you. Just let me know.

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

Your DH is giving you wise advice.

If you do continue to take sibling sets, it's wise to require a deposit PER child and/or require a 2 week notice PER child so if a family has 2 kids, they need to submit a 4 week notice of withdrawal.

Makes managing sibling sets easier.



ANY TIME a child sets foot on your property (even if for only 5 minutes) you should be charging a minimum.

I charge weekly according to enrollment. Families choose 3, 4 or 5 day options and must pay that minimum each week regardless of absences. IF they are 3 days a week and need to add a 4th day, it isn't a swap (of they missed one of their 3 days) it is an ADDED charge.

If a family works 3 days a week but it's a different 3 days, then they need access to the whole week therefore pay a full week rate. I have discounted a bit off the regular 5 day tuition amount before IF they stay with 3 days of care ONLY but it's only in extreme circumstances.

I have a pretty air tight policy manual for parents that eliminates some of the issues you are having (including the friendship part with parents ) and if you are interested I will share my handbook with you. Just let me know.

How can I change my friendship part with my one current family? I am all ears at this point. I have felt like now that I have crossed that line I can't back track.

[Blackcat31]

How can I change my friendship part with my one current family? I am all ears at this point. I have felt like now that I have crossed that line I can't back track.

You don't have to go back to not being friends but you can set the stage or clear the air with her about your friendship and business relationship being two different things.

My handbook has a blurb in it that says this:

"Because your child's welfare is so important, my closeness and nurturing of your child can create a sense of intimacy between us that makes our relationship feel more like a friendship rather than that of business partners. While this is ideal, well-defined boundaries are necessary and outlined within this handbook."

Perhaps you can build from that and let her know that when it comes to business, it's business FIRST and friendship second and that the two have nothing to do with each other.

Payments still have due dates, policies still need to be observed and rules still have to be followed and to expect anything more (or less) from you would not be acting as a friend at all.

If I were in your shoes, I'd write her a letter explaining why you have to keep personal and business separate and that you would like her to do the same so that neither the friendship or the working relationship hinders or hurts the other. kwim?