Telling Their Child To Lie?! Wow

[AmyKidsCo]

I actually told her to let me know what days she would need me and I'd look at my calendar. Now I just think I'll quit

So look at your calendar then tell her that it won't work out to switch.

[Annalee]

I would mention that dcb says she cries a lot at home, not in a judging/accusatory way though. What do you do WHEN she cries? I am guessing they just hold her a LOT.

This happens more often than we know. I have kids who tell me ALL THE TIME "My mom told me not to tell you......" (I had a donut before coming, I drank pepsi with dinner, I watched a zombie movie, I don't have to take a nap, these are my socks from yesterday, I had real beer)

It was root beer, that's the only one I asked about. I don't understand it, I don't agree with it, but maybe the parents feel more confident saying "It's not happening for me."

[Blackcat31]

I actually have said something because this is the second time it's happened. she said ds was lying to me

Tell her you didn't automatically believe DCB because his version of a lot can vary as he is just a little dude, BUT the baby's behavior and excessive crying AT daycare is what tells you that what DCB said (about crying a lot at home) IS true.

Babies don't lie. It's easy to see that DCB IS telling the truth.

Instead of focusing on this (the lying) because you will probably not ever get a straight and truthful answer, I'd simply start working on moving forward and addressing AND FIXING the baby's issue.

Tell mom, you would like to see some improvement (offer advice/tips about working together etc IF she is open to it) by XX date and if there is no improvement, you'll have to let them go.

It really doesn't seem like it's worth keeping the family as there are lots of little issues that will undoubtedly become bigger issues later so this current situation feels like just the tip of the iceberg.

[Starburst]

Wow! I'm surprised dcm lasted this long without you giving her a term notice, because if she lies this easily, it's most likely not the first time.

Next time she makes a comment like that mention: "That's interesting because DCB told me that she cries all the time at home and that you told him not to tell me, he also told me you told him to lie to me about several other things. I assure you, I'm not here to judge you or your parenting choices or what the child does or doesn't do at home. I just try to let you know how your child's day was and if you have similar concerns at home. I'm not sure what your reasons were for not wanting to tell me but I try my best to keep an honest relationship with my clients."

[Blackcat31]

Next time she makes a comment like that mention: "That's interesting because DCB told me that she cries all the time at home and that you told him not to tell me, he also told me you told him to lie to me about several other things. I assure you, I'm not here to judge you or your parenting choices or what the child does or doesn't do at home. I just try to let you know how your child's day was and if you have similar concerns at home. I'm not sure what your reasons were for not wanting to tell me but I try my best to keep an honest relationship with my clients."

The bolded part is the only part I would mention.

Saying anything about the DCB lying or being told to lie etc is only going to add fuel to the issue. Why bring DCB into it at all?

Mom is never going to admit that she told him to lie and continuing to focus on that is only going to get DCB in trouble at home and that shouldn't happen as none of this has anything to do with the actual situation.

The focus should be about working together to get baby to be manageable at daycare.

DC parent's lie all the time. This one is not unique or special.

I think DCB made a completely innocent remark and that's what kids do.

He more than likely was being 100% totally honest but unless there is some kind of pay out or reward to getting confirmation about the mom lying, I don't see why the DCB's lie (or non-lie) should be mentioned at all.

The issue is the baby's behavior. Not mom's or DCB's.

[Rockgirl]

I'd have a much bigger problem with dcm asking you to change your vacation days to suit her than saying the baby hardly cries at home. Of course she should not ask her child to lie, but it's pretty common for parents to use the ol' "Hmm....he doesn't do that at home!" line. The vacation day thing, though.....no way.