Telling Their Child To Lie?! Wow

[Unregistered]

So I have a new infant, 4 months old who constantly just screams. One of those tough babies. The mom asks so I tell her yes she's fussy but she claims the baby NEVER cries at home and not sure why she does it here. I've had the older sibling since 6 weeks and he's 4 now. He tells me today "mommy told me to tell you dck never cries at home, but she does".

Ummmm what the heck? You're just telling me she doesn't cry to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong? Jerks.

[Unregistered]

Wow..... glad he told the truth to you. Shows respect.

[Shell]

Wow! That's terrible. But, I bet it happens to all of us more often than you'd think. I love it when a dcm tells me the baby slept/ate/whatever and later in the day, dcd comes in looking like crap and says the baby was up all night ::
In all seriousness, I would mention to dcm that dcb told you Baby was up a lot ( I wouldn't personally mention the lying aspect) and tell her you need her to be straightforward with you so you can offer the baby the best care. For example, if you know a baby has been up all night, you would want to nap her earlier than a regular type day.

[daycarediva]

I would mention that dcb says she cries a lot at home, not in a judging/accusatory way though. What do you do WHEN she cries? I am guessing they just hold her a LOT.

This happens more often than we know. I have kids who tell me ALL THE TIME "My mom told me not to tell you......" (I had a donut before coming, I drank pepsi with dinner, I watched a zombie movie, I don't have to take a nap, these are my socks from yesterday, I had real beer)

It was root beer, that's the only one I asked about. I don't understand it, I don't agree with it, but maybe the parents feel more confident saying "It's not happening for me."

[Unregistered]

Yah I tell her she's fussy so that if there is a problem, we can fix it together. This totally defeats that. This same parent also looked at my days off and asked me to reschedule a vacation because she needed me that week even though she's a teacher and she has off that week which is why I scheduled my vacation for then. I'm getting really annoyed

[Unregistered]

I would mention that dcb says she cries a lot at home, not in a judging/accusatory way though. What do you do WHEN she cries? I am guessing they just hold her a LOT.

This happens more often than we know. I have kids who tell me ALL THE TIME "My mom told me not to tell you......" (I had a donut before coming, I drank pepsi with dinner, I watched a zombie movie, I don't have to take a nap, these are my socks from yesterday, I had real beer)

It was root beer, that's the only one I asked about. I don't understand it, I don't agree with it, but maybe the parents feel more confident saying "It's not happening for me."

I actually have said something because this is the second time it's happened. she said ds was lying to me

[KiddieCahoots]

Wow! I'm surprised dcm lasted this long without you giving her a term notice, because if she lies this easily, it's most likely not the first time.

[Second Home]

This same parent also looked at my days off and asked me to reschedule a vacation because she needed me that week even though she's a teacher and she has off that week which is why I scheduled my vacation for then. I'm getting really annoyed

[daycarediva]

Replace them ASAP. She is asking you to rearrange your days off like you're an employee and lying repeatedly about her child's behavior. She isn't working with you, it isn't out of embarrassment over a fussy baby. I would be DONE before the lying blew up in your face.

[Josiegirl]

Ohmigosh, please say you didn't change your vacation!!! How rude and entitled is she??

[Unregistered]

Wow! I'm surprised dcm lasted this long without you giving her a term notice, because if she lies this easily, it's most likely not the first time.

She wasn't like this for the 4 years with the first dcb. This is all a new thing. All of a sudden she's picking up after closing time, lying and asking for me to change days off. I really think she didn't realize what having 2 kids was like and wants to make sure she's not stuck with them.

[Unregistered]

Ohmigosh, please say you didn't change your vacation!!! How rude and entitled is she??

I actually told her to let me know what days she would need me and I'd look at my calendar. Now I just think I'll quit

[Leigh]

So frustrating. I have a foster child who, after nearly a year with me (came as a 4 mo old infant), was sent to spend a week with relatives he had never met (don't get me started there!). The caseworker told me that he didn't cry when he was there at all (he cried all day long here until 3 weeks ago). The therapist and the child's brother told me that he cried sun up till sun down daily. The caseworker, apparently, wanted me to feel it was MY fault that this meth-exposed, neglected, and abused child cried all day. I'm still mad about it 3 months later!

Babies cry. During that 2-4 month window, they need to be held A LOT. Holding them is the only thing that makes them feel better (it's a period of separation anxiety). I can not believe that a child who cries here does not cry at home, and can not understand why a parent would rather lie about it than work on a solution!

It's terrible that the parent would be asking her child to lie about it, too!

[Unregistered]

Its facebook parenting. Parents don't tell the truth because they don't want anyone to know that they aren't the perfect parent. They tell their family and friends that the baby has been sleeping thru the night since 6 weeks old yet they "forget" to mention the 4 times they had to feed the baby or rock the baby back to sleep.
Facebook parents don't post pictures of the kid having a meltdown at the dinner table. They post a picture with the kid happily posing with a forkfull of carrots ....you just don't see mom holding a cookie bribing the kid to smile with the carrot first.

[Unregistered]

Oh I got one for ya....not DC related really.

Im a girl scout leader too. We have a walk about sale one Saturday. I have a divorce couple who split the scouts time. Dad came to my house to pick up his cookies and tells me they are coming to the walk about. He is excited. Can't wait. Should be fun. The Friday before he texts and says he can't bring the scout cause they got tickets to go someplace and couldn't return them. Only...he posted on facebook they went someplace where tickets were not needed and posted pics. The next cookie booth my coleader asks where they were. The dad says the MOM didn't want the scout selling that day. It was her fault and she didn't want to tell me. He gets the SCOUT to agree. Yes. Her mom didn't want her to go. Etc. I knew it was a lie. The mom is laid back and knew nothing about it. . A week later, out of the blue the scout says 'BTW my dad totally lied. Told me to lie to. My mom didn't care. My dad just didn't want to bring me so we went to XYZ instead". :/ Nice huh. Not only did the dad clearly lie....posted he lied for me to see....then got his DD to lie too. It didn't help his case much. Not I trust him 0%. Liers don't sit well with me. I dunno if I would point out the DCK threw her under the bus right away. I would prob wait until you got another 'Is she fussy for you cause she isn't for me" convo. THEN I would totally bring it up. "Really? Cause Jonnie says she cries all the time. Maybe you can give me some tips on how to deal with it at home".