Washing African-American Hair

[sharlan]

Not being racist, but I really don't know what to use so I can get a brush through it.

My one daycare girl has the tightest, kinkiest hair ever. For reasons I won't get into, her hair has not been washed in almost 2 weeks. I have been trying to spray her hair with water and smooth it over and putting a pony tail wrapper back in it. I cannot get any brush that I have through her hair without her screaming bloody murder.

I do know that her mom puts Vaseline in it, which I REFUSE to do.

How can I get a brush through this mess?

[Baby Beluga]

My DD is biracial. She has my hair color but with Dad's coarse/curly texture.

I actually don't wash her hair with shampoo but once a week, if that. However, it does get rinsed and conditioned every night. It never appears dirty (her hair is very dry), always smells good and never has gunk in it. In fact, many people are surprised when I tell them it is rarely shampooed. It is bad to frequently wash curly hair, regardless of the race.

Here is what I do:

Wet hair, then spray with detangler, then apply an oil (I use Dove pure care nourishing oil) then use a wide tooth comb (I was told to never use a brush on curly hair) to comb through the knots. I always start at the bottom of the hair, comb that and then work my way up. Generally if you start at the top of the head and try to comb through you will just create more tangles. I then use a towel to gently squeeze the extra water out of her hair, comb through it a second time and then form her curls.

[Thriftylady]

I had AA foster kids and can tell you that they HAVE to add oil to their hair. My fosters didn't use Vaseline, I bought them special oil but it may be the same thing, I don't really know. I can also tell you that most of them don't wash their hair as often. The reasons for the oil and less washing is it breaks. Refusing to put oil in it actually makes her hair problems much worse. I think though her mother should be dealing with it rather than you, and I wonder why she isn't.

[daycarediva]

I wouldn't use Vaseline, but they NEED the oil in their hair. Ethnic hair care aisles have items specifically for little girls for this. I used them on a foster girl and a daycare girl. I also only washed her hair once a week, just rinsed with each bath.

Wide tooth combs and braids are your friends.

[Howl]

You don't sound racist at all but all of the responses include "they" as if "they" are "the other." If you understand my meaning. Calling that little girl's head a mess also isn't the best way to describe anything.

[Thriftylady]

You don't sound racist at all but all of the responses include "they" as if "they" are "the other." If you understand my meaning. Calling that little girl's head a mess also isn't the best way to describe anything.

I don't think the OP or the responses are racist or trying to be. Using "they" is just a shorter simpler way than saying "African American" in every sentence, and I know two "african americans" that hate being called that to them, they are just "Americans". I honestly believe that most people are not racist at all, and I certainly haven't read anything on this board that suggests anyone here is.

[crazydaycarelady]

I have a girl here right now who is pale as can be and her hair is a mess too, a rats nest actually. It is not like the OP is saying this to the girl. She is saying it here, in a safe place, and looking for a solution. Don't try and make her feel bad.

[sharlan]

I am sorry, but her hair is a mess. It has not been washed or brushed for two weeks.

Mom has been out of town for a week, won't be back until tonight or tomorrow. I feel the need to do something about her hair. It's not the child's fault, just a combination of circumstances right now.

I brush out my other little girl's hair every day. She won't let (yeah, I know) anyone else brush it. It was fairly long, but Mom just had it cut to shoulder length.

I have always brushed out my little girls' hair over the years. I always braided, put in pony tails, ribbons and bows, etc. It's just something I enjoyed doing and the parents appreciated it.

[Josiegirl]

I have 2 little AA girls in my care. I've never had to do anything with their hair but I could imagine it being extremely difficult. I know both dcm's use coconut oil. One of the little girl's hair is cropped close to the head and the other's is longer, parted in several places and braided differently each a.m., with barrettes.
I also have a little blondie with long curly curly hair and the only thing I've done with her hair is put ponytails in it. I'd never attempt to comb/brush hers either.
I'm sure I wouldn't do it right or I'd have the poor kids yelling and screaming in pain. I do what I can to keep their hair neat enough but I'm not their mom. Maybe your circumstances are totally different with your dcg though, because you said her hair hasn't been washed in a couple weeks.

[daycare]

I am sorry, but her hair is a mess. It has not been washed or brushed for two weeks.

Mom has been out of town for a week, won't be back until tonight or tomorrow. I feel the need to do something about her hair. It's not the child's fault, just a combination of circumstances right now.

I brush out my other little girl's hair every day. She won't let (yeah, I know) anyone else brush it. It was fairly long, but Mom just had it cut to shoulder length.

it's all good we know you well Shar to know you are asking for the best interest of this child.

My son is AA and we have to use a wide tooth comb, I think he calls it a hair pick. He has a HUGE fro at the moment and I hate it when he has his hair like that because he has to oil it and pick it every day what seems like forever.

I tease him and tell him did you oil and lube your hair so we can go. He laughs at me.

It will get out of control and impossible to comb if he does not add oil to it.

when he was little, we kept it very short.

[sharlan]

This child's hair has never been cut or even trimmed. I really wish Mom would keep it short.

It was a success, no tears. I washed her hair with an oil based shampoo and conditioner that I had, then I sprayed it with an oil spray my dd has. The inside was a solid mat. I was able to use my granddaughter's detangler brush. It's back up into a pony tail.

[Thriftylady]

Glad you were able to get it worked out. Hopefully when mom gets home she can address the issues with the person that she likely felt would keep these things under control. She will likely be livid about the situation, I know I would.

[preschoolteacher]

I'm sure you could find some hairstyle videos on YouTube if you search African American girls hairstyles.

[Unregistered]

There is a blog/website and facebook called chocolate hair vanilla care. It has been a huge help for folks who are not familiar with African American hair. Definently check it out

[jenboo]

There is a blog/website and facebook called chocolate hair vanilla care. It has been a huge help for folks who are not familiar with African American hair. Definently check it out

I'm going to need this for my future children! Thank you