The Toddler Who Wants To Be Held Always

[Unregistered]

How often is normal to hold a 15 month old during the day? I have one who is will be ok playing for 5-10 min then holds her arms and whines to be picked up. And she's demanding- wanting only to be held while I'm standing, screaming, pointing etc. Id I strap her in the highchair to make food and she will scream the whole time. What gives? That's not normal is it? I cannot hold her all day and I won't. Sorry if that sounds rude but if I pick her up when she cries and throws a fit isn't that just teaching her to cry to get what she wants? Am I being unreasonable?

[jenboo]

I don't hold a child that age.

[Unregistered]

I don't hold a child that age.

Ever?

[daycare]

I also don't hold children that age. I will however, sit on the floor and let them sit on my lap, but it would not be for long, as we don't sit down in one place long. I also don't want to let the child think tht I can always hold them, because I can't.

if they come to me with arms up crying, I may kneel down to their level, pat them on the back, give a quick hug and let them know they are ok. Then get them engaged in play and I move on.

[Unregistered]

I also don't hold children that age. I will however, sit on the floor and let them sit on my lap, but it would not be for long, as we don't sit down in one place long. I also don't want to let the child think tht I can always hold them, because I can't.

if they come to me with arms up crying, I may kneel down to their level, pat them on the back, give a quick hug and let them know they are ok. Then get them engaged in play and I move on.

Good to know. She sometimes tries to crawl up on me but I'm not comfortable with that either

[jenboo]

Ever?

Never ever. I sit on the floor and they can sit in my lap. If I'm standing, the only children I occasionally hold is a non walker.
I don't see any need to hold and carry around a child who can walk.

[nannyde]

Can her parents afford to hire an adult to one to one her and hold her the vast majority of the day?

If they can't then the child has to deal. If you were hired to do one to one then do that.

[daycare]

Never ever. I sit on the floor and they can sit in my lap. If I'm standing, the only children I occasionally hold is a non walker.
I don't see any need to hold and carry around a child who can walk.

not only that, I also don't hold children for the sake of me falling with one. with other little ones in the house, they sometimes go under my feet and I Have tripped over them. Imagine doing that with a child in your arms. Could end badly

[Unregistered]

Can her parents afford to hire an adult to one to one her and hold her the vast majority of the day?

If they can't then the child has to deal. If you were hired to do one to one then do that.

Yeah no. I'm a licensed home- 6 kids. The problem is she will wail for 2 hours to be held.

[daycare]

Yeah no. I'm a licensed home- 6 kids. The problem is she will wail for 2 hours to be held.

redirect her.

HOw long has she been in your care? Full time or part time?

[Leigh]

I will hold kids at that age, on MY terms. If I am reading them a story, when they first get to my house (one little girl climbs on my lap right away for a couple of minutes to reconnect). A kid that age may be held for 5-10 minutes a day. No way would I carry them around just because they demand it.

[Unregistered]

Alright I'm glad I'm not crazy about this then.
She's been in my care since 6 mo. this is a new thing the last few months. Full time. She's exhausting.

[daycare]

Alright I'm glad I'm not crazy about this then.
She's been in my care since 6 mo. this is a new thing the last few months. Full time. She's exhausting.

for me personally, if I had a child that could not find a way to suffice in my program, I would have to let them go. It is not only affecting you, but the other children as well.

[daycarediva]

I also don't hold children that age. I will however, sit on the floor and let them sit on my lap, but it would not be for long, as we don't sit down in one place long. I also don't want to let the child think tht I can always hold them, because I can't.

if they come to me with arms up crying, I may kneel down to their level, pat them on the back, give a quick hug and let them know they are ok. Then get them engaged in play and I move on.

same way I handle it. I only pick up/carry when ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

This child would get a nice pat, an eye level reassurance and then I would move on. I would give attention when she wasn't upset/screaming/demanding to be held. It may take a bit, but she will get it. You may want to speak to her parents about the realities of group care so that they can have her play independently on the floor near them to practice.

[finsup]

Same as everyone else. I went through this with a DCB at that age. If I couldn't redirect him to stop the screaming he had to go sit on the bench until he was ready to stop. Once he stopped I immediately praised him and invited him back. He's still clingy but it has improved greatly (he's almost 2 now) since. He hasn't needed to sit out in a long time.