Prolonged drop offs in the morning

[irishrose]

Hi All,

We have a new family that has started in the past two weeks. DCG is almost 4 and DCB is 2. DCM brings the DCKs in the morning. The DCG does really well for the most part, but the DCB is having a difficult time transitioning. The DCM stayed for 35 minutes this morning. As she held the DCB in her lap, she would tell DCB that she has to go, but then she would continue to sit with the DCB and prolong her visit. I have spent hours pouring over these forums and I really appreciate all the advice that has been given on this topic. Tomorrow, we plan on having a chat with mom expressing how much we know she cares for her kids, but the prolonged departure is only making things worse for the two DCK. I have been searching for a great child development article pertaining to this issue to give to DCM in the morning. We have a feeling that although she may hear our words, she may not truly listen to them. Do you think giving her some reading material might help her realize that she's not alone in this struggle? Does anyone have any articles that they can refer that would really help DCM out? Also- any other suggestions aside from what has already been suggested would greatly be appreciated!

TIA!

[nannyde]

Hi All,

We have a new family that has started in the past two weeks. DCG is almost 4 and DCB is 2. DCM brings the DCKs in the morning. The DCG does really well for the most part, but the DCB is having a difficult time transitioning. The DCM stayed for 35 minutes this morning. As she held the DCB in her lap, she would tell DCB that she has to go, but then she would continue to sit with the DCB and prolong her visit. I have spent hours pouring over these forums and I really appreciate all the advice that has been given on this topic. Tomorrow, we plan on having a chat with mom expressing how much we know she cares for her kids, but the prolonged departure is only making things worse for the two DCK. I have been searching for a great child development article pertaining to this issue to give to DCM in the morning. We have a feeling that although she may hear our words, she may not truly listen to them. Do you think giving her some reading material might help her realize that she's not alone in this struggle? Does anyone have any articles that they can refer that would really help DCM out? Also- any other suggestions aside from what has already been suggested would greatly be appreciated!

TIA!

It's PASS Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome

I have a full chapter in my book that describes this and how to manage it.

The key point is to understand it has NOTHING to do with the child or child care. It is about the mom forcing you to give her attention.

The book is called "Daycare Whisperer Doing Daycare. This job would be great if it wasn't for the parents. You can preview it on Amazon and my Daycare Whisperer daycare.com blog.

[Thriftylady]

Ugg that is hard! I about chased my son out with the broom the last time he left my grandson. To bad you can't do that with daycare parents .

[daycare]

I can share with you what I tell the parents..


When you stay, you are giving the child a sense of false hope that they are getting you to stay here and in their little minds as soon as they start to cry or say don't go and you stay, they are playing a controlling game with you.

However, you know that this is a game that the child is always going to lose, ending in crying, tears or melt down. Thus starting them off on the wrong foot for the day. We know how hard it is to say good-bye to your child each day and how hard it is for kids to have to give up mom or dad.

In order to set your child up for success each and every day while here, we ask that you have a drop off and pick up plan established with your children.

We recommend that you keep a consistent routine that consist of saying good-bye to your child before arriving to the front door. Once inside give them one hug, one kiss, I love you and a quick reassurance that someone will be back to pick them up. In our experience it is very normal for children to have a hard time separating, and the sooner you leave, the sooner we find that they able to settle in to playing with their friends. We assure you that we will do everything to help welcome your child each and every day to help ease this difficult transition.

If after establishing a consistent routine your child is still having issues with dropping off or picking up, we may ask that we arrange other options for you and your child.

[irishrose]

It's PASS Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome

I have a full chapter in my book that describes this and how to manage it.

The key point is to understand it has NOTHING to do with the child or child care. It is about the mom forcing you to give her attention.

The book is called "Daycare Whisperer Doing Daycare. This job would be great if it wasn't for the parents. You can preview it on Amazon and my Daycare Whisperer daycare.com blog.

Thank you!!

Out of curiosity, I found your blog and read "Changing of the Guards". That is some great information! I have your blog bookmarked and when time permits, I plan on checking out some of your other articles on there. Thank you so much!

[irishrose]

Ugg that is hard! I about chased my son out with the broom the last time he left my grandson. To bad you can't do that with daycare parents .

:: I actually laughed out loud at that mental image! Thanks for the smiles tonight! Parents are definitely one of the more difficult aspects of this job. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who experiences these things and there is a whole "world" of providers to share my high and lows with!

[irishrose]

I can share with you what I tell the parents..


When you stay, you are giving the child a sense of false hope that they are getting you to stay here and in their little minds as soon as they start to cry or say don't go and you stay, they are playing a controlling game with you.

However, you know that this is a game that the child is always going to lose, ending in crying, tears or melt down. Thus starting them off on the wrong foot for the day. We know how hard it is to say good-bye to your child each day and how hard it is for kids to have to give up mom or dad.

In order to set your child up for success each and every day while here, we ask that you have a drop off and pick up plan established with your children.

We recommend that you keep a consistent routine that consist of saying good-bye to your child before arriving to the front door. Once inside give them one hug, one kiss, I love you and a quick reassurance that someone will be back to pick them up. In our experience it is very normal for children to have a hard time separating, and the sooner you leave, the sooner we find that they able to settle in to playing with their friends. We assure you that we will do everything to help welcome your child each and every day to help ease this difficult transition.

If after establishing a consistent routine your child is still having issues with dropping off or picking up, we may ask that we arrange other options for you and your child.

Thank you!

This is great advice and very appreciated as I was struggling to find a way to word it to DCM in the morning. I think that your response is a perfect mix of caring words and knowledge of child development. Again - Thank you for the advice!

[Rockgirl]

I start from the beginning just taking the child and saying, "Come on--let's go play!" I do this whether the child is screaming or not, . I tell the parent, "He will be fine--I promise!" It may take a few times, but it works. Just be confident, or fake confidence.