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Yesterday was the first day for a 14m DCG I just enrolled. She has never been in group care before. The ages of my crew are 10m, 14m, 20m, 2y, 3y, 3y, 3y, 4y. I have a 2 week trial period, but thinking of telling the DCM at the end of the week this just isn't a good fit for her. I know we are just into the 2nd day, but this DCG is so fussy...and it's an angry fussy too. Doesn't eat meals...just throws the food on the ground and screams. Doesn't play well with others...hits and pushes. Doesn't take naps...and just stands in the crib screaming. She's very independent and throws tantrums when you try to redirect her or even hold her on your lap. I'd like to think it would work out, but with her not being in daycare before, I think this is going to take awhile to get her to adjust. What would you tell this parent?
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How many hours is she supposed to be there? I had a couple kiddos scream their first couple of days, so I just let them do their thing out of the way on a comfy spot and went about my business like usual with maybe a couple extra fun activities for the others. By the end of the week they were shy but otherwise fine.
It really depends on what you are comfortable with. I'd give mom a heads up that dcg is having a rough time transitioning and maybe warn her that you'll have to call for pickup if dcg cries for X amount of minutes/hours (however long you and the other kiddos can handle). It's not fair to the other kiddos to have to deal with that all day. -
She's here 9 hours a day :/ I've been letting her know she seems to have a rough time adjusting.Comment
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Oh wow. I am in the SAME exact position. Same age and everything! I keep my group small, so it's not a big deal for me to tough it out, and truthfully, I think she needs me, but if I had as many kids as you, I would definitely term.Comment
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That must make your day feel extra long.
I would tell mom about picking up dcg if she fails to calm down and participate in daycare activities after an hour (more or less depending on your needs).
I have some kiddos that needed a lovey at first so they could sit and cuddle with it for the first few minutes of the day while they settle in.
I would avoid making a big deal about their crying and just offer a quick hug or back rub if they need some comfort throughout the day. Just carry on as usual.
Some kiddos just aren't a good fit no matter what you do but that's what your trial period is for.
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I really think that 12-16 month age is the worst time to introduce daycare. Most kids I've had start at that age cry a lot! Poor babies; they're probably pretty dang confused by the change.
You have a big group. I can see where getting with the program would be very helpful!Comment
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Could one of your preschoolers kind of take the new one under their wing? Sometimes lil ones will react a whole lot differently with another pint size person than with an adult trying to console them. Just a thought until she adjusts and things become a bit more familiar?
I know I tried a dcg who was about 12 months at the time(coming straight from grandma's care), she would cling to me, having to be picked up all the time, wouldn't sleep during nap time but cried the whole time, never sleeping the whole day. Poor thing was so miserably tired by the time she went home. They put her in a center and I'm not sure what magic they performed(she turned right around to an adorable funny wonderful lil toddler who sleeps!) but the parents asked me 6 months later if I'd reconsider(I have her older sister too) and I said sure, I'll give it another try. The little girl is turning 2 this week and is a sweetheart!!!
I lasted 7 days the first time and was a major wreck. If you honestly feel you cannot do it, tell them. Your own health, sanity and the rest of the group need to be considered. Good luck!!
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Bless her... I have such a soft spot for the ones who get this upset during their first few days. She's probably feeling confused, abandoned, scared mommy won't come back, etc. She's also probably afraid to sleep because she thinks she may miss mommy coming back. Kids sleep well when they trust their provider and feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable, like they are when they're sleeping, so I think naps would definitely come as her trust in you grows. But who knows how long that will take? This is definitely a hard one. Personally, I would stick with it the full two weeks to see if she makes progress. But with such a large group, I could understand if you didn't. Maybe she needs a smaller group size?Comment
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