DCM Made Me Feel Inadequate

[blueskiesbutterflies]

PLEASE don't let her make you feel inadequate! That was ridiculous over-reaction on her part! And good for you for not letting them stay!

:hug: thank you for the support...I know I am a good provider and it was very silly of me to do such a thing...but I took really good care of her baby! She gave wonderful references. Of course, my assistant mentioned that the mom starting change towards us when her baby would cry when she came to pick him up and he saw here. I think she is right that the mom got a little jealous because I had so many videos of him laughing an smiling and she coul not get him to smile at her. And of course she got upset because he would eat his cereal for me and she could not get him to eat. Well, I am a lot older and I have taught a lot of babies to eat....Honestly I think it was a combination of things...

[blueskiesbutterflies]

I agree DCM way over reacted. I also wonder why, if it was after daycare hours you told her what happened. I would have just let them know that there was an issue which made it impossible to open the next day. IT IS your home, your personal time, and really non of their business what happens when their child is not in care.

Yes, I should have said that I was unable to open due to a personal reason. Next time I will not be as honest. Really, I should not have to share everything that happens in myy personal life to them anyways.:hug:

[blueskiesbutterflies]

How is that poor judgement and irresponsible? It's incredibly EASY to overheat oil and cause it to smoke.

OP stated there was no fire, indicating she remedied the issue as soon as she noticed it. Sure, she dumped it down the sink which isn't a great idea for the reason she mentioned. But, in the moment with hot, smoking, stinky oil in your hand, all you can think about is getting rid of it somewhere that isn't going to melt(ie: the garbage) so sometimes silly things get done. I've dropped food into the hot oil on accident before and literally reached into the oil to grab the food wouldn't even thinking about how hot it was! 2nd degree burns on my fingers after that and that's after many years working in a kitchen. Stupid stuff happens

Personally, I don't see the issue, what so ever. But I've worked in restaurants so I don't freak out about over heated oil/smoking oil. I obviously clean up any mess, and air out the house but that's it. It's not like you caught the stove on fire!

Honestly I think mom is WAY over reacting and you made the right choice in letting her go. You'd just end up with more problems.

It happens to a lot of people and I do have the common sense not to cook like that during daycare hours. There was NO fire at all just a really greasy water mess. I am just really depressed over it and feel like I did something bad over her reacting the way she did...

[blueskiesbutterflies]

Seriously? Her complaint is a SMUDGE on his sock?? Wow if every parent termed because their kids socks got a bit dirty I would go out of business! My floors are clean, we do not wear shoes in the house, but still the bottom of their socks do not stay pristine.

A 5 month old here WOULD be on the floor.

I think I should explain the floor thing..I have older kids and I do not want him to get hurt so he has all kinds of equipments and such so he can get tummy time and such. He does not crawl at this time so he was never on the bare floor. What is odd is that I have some kids that refuse to keep their shoes on and their white socks was not dirty at all that day. So, I am confused where she thought he had a black smudge on his sock. Maybe she should have taken a picture and sent it to me...

[blueskiesbutterflies]

I think she is completely out of line and that there is no way that DCM would set foot in my home again.

THANK YOU! That is how I feel and I will stick by it. happyface

[blueskiesbutterflies]

good for you.. I am sooooo sick of parents blaming DC for everything that happens to their child.

I am getting ready to term a family and one of their complaints is that the childs socks are dirty. we don't wear shoes in the house. BUT every freaking morning this child walks to my front door with daddy in her SOCKS. But it's my house that is dirty, not the sidewalk.

Once I smell that things are bad and I think that it's only going to get worse, I let them go. I have only had this happen a few times. I learned the hard way by keeping a family that was HOORRRRIBBBLLLEEE to me for 3 years. Never ever ever ever again.

Just tell them that you feel you guys are not a good fit, write up all of the items that you are returning to the family and make them sign off on them. Make sure that you have EVERYTHING. I had a family come back and haunt me over a missing sock. I finally told them you are harassing me and have every bit of documentation to prove it. Do not contact me again or I will be forced to file harassment charges against you. Never heard back after that.


stand tall and know that you are doing a great job!!

I too have parents who bring their kids with just socks on and no shoes. Of course, the parents never say anything about their socks being dirty. I have a hardwood floor in the daycare room and I do clean it three times a day. I clean it before they come, during nap, and after they leave. It is a really large room and hard to take care of! I have to clean it so much or they would come home dirty. I feel that if a parent brings their children without shoes and let them walk outside then it is their fault their socks are dirty. I think some things that happen in daycare is silly! My first daycare I never even blinked an eye at silly issues and had no problem dismissing. Six years later I am older and having a really hard time standing up for myself and having the guts to say NO.

[racemom]

Yes, I should have said that I was unable to open due to a personal reason. Next time I will not be as honest. Really, I should not have to share everything that happens in myy personal life to them anyways.:hug:

After I reread my post, I was hoping it wouldn't be taken the wrong way. But you got exactly what I meant, you don't have to share. With experience I have learned to only share what is needed!

[e.j.]

When I read your initial post, I thought the dcm was either grossly overreacting or she was just looking for any little excuse to leave your day care. Then you posted about her maybe feeling a little jealous and I thought, "Bingo!" She really is looking for any little excuse to leave. If it's not a little smudge on his socks, it'll be some other minor complaint. I think telling her she couldn't return was a smart decision on your part.

[Starburst]

Just take that as her notice and advertise for the spot (if you need to), and don't take her back even if they come back begging (as you pointed out you already frequently broke your rules).

You don't need that kind of negativity or that disrespect in your business (or your life in general). The best thing is to cut your losses and avoid putting anymore time or energy in a client that doesn't trust you.

ETA: Sorry didn't see the update

[Blackcat31]

1st time mom? I would have pulled my baby too. I would have looked at it like you were irresponsible and used poor judgment. Then again, I was 20 years old, and thought I knew it all. Nearly 17 years later I laugh at myself and feel sorry for people that had to deal with me

TOTALLY agree with this ^^^ ::

When I read your initial post, I thought the dcm was either grossly overreacting or she was just looking for any little excuse to leave your day care. Then you posted about her maybe feeling a little jealous and I thought, "Bingo!" She really is looking for any little excuse to leave. If it's not a little smug on his socks, it'll be some other minor complaint. I think telling her she couldn't return was a smart decision on your part.

The whole time I was reading, I was thinking "She is just looking for something....so she can leave" too!

I think that is closer to the truth behind her actions and it has nothing to do with the closure or a smudged sock



OP.... You will meet more parents like this one over the course of this career. You get better at recognizing them so don't let this one make you feel inadequate.

It's her issues not yours that resulted in this and it's probably for the better anyways. She'd have continued nitpicking anyways...

Consider yourself lucky and not at all inadequate.

[Shell]

I think she is completely out of line and that there is no way that DCM would set foot in my home again.

[KiddieCahoots]

OP.... You will meet more parents like this one over the course of this career. You get better at recognizing them so don't let this one make you feel inadequate.

It's her issues not yours that resulted in this and it's probably for the better anyways. She'd have continued nitpicking anyways...

Ugh! Just needed to say....I despise dealing with dcp's like this, but BC is right. Unfortunately it takes having to deal with them in the first place to recognize them later on.

[Thriftylady]

My honest opinion is good riddance. If she is going to get so bent out of shape over something that happened in your home when no children were there, what would she get upset about later? Would she get upset when little cupcake starts walking and bumps his head? Yes, she is out of line, but better to find out sooner rather than later. I am sorry she made you feel so bad, but remember this is more about HER than you.

[Unregistered]

I think that sometimes high-maintenance dcps like to pull their child from one place to another because it makes them feel like better parents, who are in control of the situation. Even if the next place is inferior, they still feel better because the perception of "for the good of the child" reflects on them; not the actual child or the daycare provider. (Of course I'm not talking about legitimate circumstances...)

When you have more distance between this event, I hope that instead of feeling inadequate, you laugh really hard. I mean, really?!!!! "Okay, here's the plan...you're not going to say a word to her because she burned her oil..." "Don't forget the smudge..." Last summer, on the weekend, my dh warped a couple pieces of our outdoor siding, when it was 94 degrees, and he was using the grill. This is why I'm unregistered. We're in the witness protection program.

[Thriftylady]

I think that sometimes high-maintenance dcps like to pull their child from one place to another because it makes them feel like better parents, who are in control of the situation. Even if the next place is inferior, they still feel better because the perception of "for the good of the child" reflects on them; not the actual child or the daycare provider. (Of course I'm not talking about legitimate circumstances...)

When you have more distance between this event, I hope that instead of feeling inadequate, you laugh really hard. I mean, really?!!!! "Okay, here's the plan...you're not going to say a word to her because she burned her oil..." "Don't forget the smudge..." Last summer, on the weekend, my dh warped a couple pieces of our outdoor siding, when it was 94 degrees, and he was using the grill. This is why I'm unregistered. We're in the witness protection program.

My husband did that a few years ago. None of my daycare parents even noticed it but I came unglued .