I'm Having Trouble...

[NoMoreJuice!]

I'm having trouble taking the high road today. Had to term a family some months ago and just got a text asking for tax info. I know from reading Tom Copeland's blog that I don't legally have to give her any information unless she sends me a W10, and I'm especially bitter that she sent the state after me on a fruitless witch hunt. She told them several lies and they even admitted at the complaint survey that they knew I was doing nothing wrong.

As much as I can't stand this person, I can't shake this sneaky suspicion that I should be a grown up and mail her the same year end receipts and W10s that I printed for all my current families.

Is it ok if I forgo my responsibility to make an adult decision, and just let you all vote on it?

[sharlan]

I understand what you're saying. I would want to say, send me a W-10 and I'll fill it out.

But knowing me, I would just send it and be done with them.

[Rockgirl]

I'd just do it and be done with them.

[Unregistered]

Send, without a word. Anything else would just put her back in your life for a minute.

[Shell]

Send, without a word. Anything else would just put her back in your life for a minute.

Great advice!

[Second Home]

As much as you do not want to see this person again I would have her bring paperwork ( w-10) and have her sign saying she received them . I worry that if she made false claims before then she may do it again saying you refused the paperwork . Or send it registered mail so she must sign for the letter , you will have that as proof .

[e.j.]

I can understand why you wouldn't want to help her out any more than you were legally required to but give her the information she asked for and call it a day. Taking the high road will make you feel better in the long run.

She does sound like a piece of work though! I can't imagine doing all she did to you and then contacting you to ask for tax info. That takes real nerve!

[Janiam]

This seems to be a common problem this time of year. We feel guilty about saying no to parents who have left on bad terms. I think you should do whatever feels right to you, take a few days and make a decision unless she shows up with a W-10 in hand.
I had a rude, obnoxious piece of work leave without notice. A year later called to get her tax info, which was less than $100 as she was state subsidized. She called and in that high pitched demanding voice of hers asked if "those tax thingies came in yet"? I calmly explained that they "don't come in", I prepare them for clients in good standing and if she would have given notice and honored her contract I would have prepared one for her, Thanks for calling! I see it as a teachable moment.

[Laurel]

I'm having trouble taking the high road today. Had to term a family some months ago and just got a text asking for tax info. I know from reading Tom Copeland's blog that I don't legally have to give her any information unless she sends me a W10, and I'm especially bitter that she sent the state after me on a fruitless witch hunt. She told them several lies and they even admitted at the complaint survey that they knew I was doing nothing wrong.

As much as I can't stand this person, I can't shake this sneaky suspicion that I should be a grown up and mail her the same year end receipts and W10s that I printed for all my current families.

Is it ok if I forgo my responsibility to make an adult decision, and just let you all vote on it?

I'm gonna vote differently.

I had someone who just never showed up one day and never came back. I didn't lose any money but that was some nerve just to leave me high and dry. When she left a message on my phone about her tax info, I just didn't call back and she never called back.

As badly as she treated you, I'd do a 'teachable moment' too. No way and I wouldn't answer. If she mails or brings a W-10 I would. If she persists I'd say I have no legal obligation to provide one so I am not going to feel obligated to do so.

Laurel

[Leigh]

This seems to be a common problem this time of year. We feel guilty about saying no to parents who have left on bad terms. I think you should do whatever feels right to you, take a few days and make a decision unless she shows up with a W-10 in hand.
I had a rude, obnoxious piece of work leave without notice. A year later called to get her tax info, which was less than $100 as she was state subsidized. She called and in that high pitched demanding voice of hers asked if "those tax thingies came in yet"? I calmly explained that they "don't come in", I prepare them for clients in good standing and if she would have given notice and honored her contract I would have prepared one for her, Thanks for calling! I see it as a teachable moment.

I'm gonna vote differently.

I had someone who just never showed up one day and never came back. I didn't lose any money but that was some nerve just to leave me high and dry. When she left a message on my phone about her tax info, I just didn't call back and she never called back.

As badly as she treated you, I'd do a 'teachable moment' too. No way and I wouldn't answer. If she mails or brings a W-10 I would. If she persists I'd say I have no legal obligation to provide one so I am not going to feel obligated to do so.

Laurel

We have to just do what feels right. Sometimes it really IS healing to do it. Letting them hang like they did to you may not be the ethical thing to do (not saying it IS unethical), but if it makes you feel better, do it.

[NoMoreJuice!]

Thank you all for the input! I received a really rude voicemail from the ex-daycare parent in question, so my decision has been made. Let's just say the word "immediately" was used more than twice. I'm now quite sure she thinks end-of-year receipts are like W2s and I am required to provide them. I will not be responding to her at all, but I do like the points you all make about doing it so it's over and never having to deal with her again.

[Annalee]

Kill it with kindness! I had a grandmother do the same to me a few years ago and later I saw her at the grocery store. She had dropped some things at the counter so I helped her pick them up.....she looked so embarrassed when I helped her but I think she may have realized at that point that I am not so bad after all and her over-dramatization had been overlooked by me as well.

[melilley]

As much as you do not want to see this person again I would have her bring paperwork ( w-10) and have her sign saying she received them . I worry that if she made false claims before then she may do it again saying you refused the paperwork . Or send it registered mail so she must sign for the letter , you will have that as proof .

This is what I would do as well. I have all my parents sign and I keep a copy.

[Mom of 4 logged out]

Thank you all for the input! I received a really rude voicemail from the ex-daycare parent in question, so my decision has been made. Let's just say the word "immediately" was used more than twice. I'm now quite sure she thinks end-of-year receipts are like W2s and I am required to provide them. I will not be responding to her at all, but I do like the points you all make about doing it so it's over and never having to deal with her again.

If you are not LEGALLY required to do so, then I would just ignore her calls. If she happens to get psycho and drop by, I wouldn't even speak to her. You have NO MORE business with her, after she did the DHS crap. It's like my neighbor who falsely accused us of assault, wanted my kids to come help clean her yard up, because she thought they were putting crab apples in her yard (actually the CRAB APPLE TREE did that, no person did). Um, she's HIGH as a kite if she thinks that I would even speak to her again, let alone allow my kids to help her in any way after what she did. What if she turns crazy again? I would ignore, ignore and ignore, since you are NOT legally obligated to do $hi^