1 year & STILL Potty Issues.....HELP!

[WBee]

I have two DCB's who I care for each week. One (the elder of the two)began potty training when he was not ready at 2 1/2 years old(cried, refused to sit, was stressed, etc.). I asked DCM to wait a while then try again. She gave it less than 2 weeks & then put him back in underwear. Forced again, he did ok, then not so ok, back and forth and has urinated on my hardwood floors/rugs quite a few times. He often needs to go every 1/2 hour, yet sometimes he if fine for 2 hrs., and it has been a YEAR now! He still has "accidents" when awake whether on his cot or playing and I am tired of cleaning up the mess and having this conversation w/DCM & DCD. I asked that they go to their Dr. and he tested negative for Diabetes/UTI approx. 6 mos. ago. I just asked that they bring him again to be certain nothing else is going on as they call his every now & again accidents "His normal." both in DC and at home. Now we are training his 2 year old brother and I feel like I spend all day in the bathroom w/both of them and have no time for my own/other children!
Do I have any rights in RI to insist on a written report from the Dr.? He has an upcoming appt. BTW, when I asked how frequently he goes potty at home, DCD stated, "I don't know. He just goes when needed. I don't watch/keep track." ???

[jenboo]

I have two DCB's who I care for each week. One (the elder of the two)began potty training when he was not ready at 2 1/2 years old(cried, refused to sit, was stressed, etc.). I asked DCM to wait a while then try again. She gave it less than 2 weeks & then put him back in underwear. Forced again, he did ok, then not so ok, back and forth and has urinated on my hardwood floors/rugs quite a few times. He often needs to go every 1/2 hour, yet sometimes he if fine for 2 hrs., and it has been a YEAR now! He still has "accidents" when awake whether on his cot or playing and I am tired of cleaning up the mess and having this conversation w/DCM & DCD. I asked that they go to their Dr. and he tested negative for Diabetes/UTI approx. 6 mos. ago. I just asked that they bring him again to be certain nothing else is going on as they call his every now & again accidents "His normal." both in DC and at home. Now we are training his 2 year old brother and I feel like I spend all day in the bathroom w/both of them and have no time for my own/other children!
Do I have any rights in RI to insist on a written report from the Dr.? He has an upcoming appt. BTW, when I asked how frequently he goes potty at home, DCD stated, "I don't know. He just goes when needed. I don't watch/keep track." ???

Your business, your rules. Tell them no you will not potty train. They need to be accident free for 2 weeks until you put them in underware.

[Leigh]

You need to just stop ALLOWING them to pee all over your house. Tell MOM that her kid has been pushed too hard and is pushing back. Tell her that when he can tell you that he has to go BEFORE he goes, and he goes 2-3 weeks without an accident at YOUR house, he can wear underwear. Until then, put the kid in diapers (because he NEEDS them!). I would tell MOM no diapers, no daycare. My pediatrician tells me that the average age for boys to be trained is 3.5. Forcing a 2 year old to try to train when he wasn't ready is just not right.

[permanentvacation]

I've worked in 3 centers and owned my own licensed home daycare for about 25 years. I worked at the 3 centers within the last 10 years when I moved a couple of times while waiting on my new license at the address I had moved to.

I say all that to let you know that it's not just my 'opinion', but backing me up is 3 daycare centers. None of them nor I potty train a boy until they are between 3 and 3 1/2 years old. We don't start on their 3rd birthday, we wait a couple of months after they turn 3.

25 years ago, I would have trained a 2 year old boy. But every veteran daycare provider I have talked to throughout the 25 years have agreed with me that as the years pass, children just aren't ready to potty train as young as they used to. We used to train a girl at age 1 and a boy at age 2. Now, we train a girl at age 2 and a boy at age 3.

I'd demand that the child be put in diapers until he's 3. You are causing way too much stress on the child and will make it even harder to train him.

I bet the mother just doesn't want to spend money on diapers. I also bet she doesn't potty train him at home. I'm sure he's in diapers at home and she wants you and only you to train him. Which we all know won't work. The child must be trained at both home and daycare. I really don't think the mother is allowing him to pee all over her house.

[Leigh]

I've worked in 3 centers and owned my own licensed home daycare for about 25 years. I worked at the 3 centers within the last 10 years when I moved a couple of times while waiting on my new license at the address I had moved to.

I say all that to let you know that it's not just my 'opinion', but backing me up is 3 daycare centers. None of them nor I potty train a boy until they are between 3 and 3 1/2 years old. We don't start on their 3rd birthday, we wait a couple of months after they turn 3.

25 years ago, I would have trained a 2 year old boy. But every veteran daycare provider I have talked to throughout the 25 years have agreed with me that as the years pass, children just aren't ready to potty train as young as they used to. We used to train a girl at age 1 and a boy at age 2. Now, we train a girl at age 2 and a boy at age 3.

I'd demand that the child be put in diapers until he's 3. You are causing way too much stress on the child and will make it even harder to train him.

I bet the mother just doesn't want to spend money on diapers. I also bet she doesn't potty train him at home. I'm sure he's in diapers at home and she wants you and only you to train him. Which we all know won't work. The child must be trained at both home and daycare. I really don't think the mother is allowing him to pee all over her house.

Things are different now, but I would rather wait to train my child than to train them with shaming and spanking (which was how every child I knew to be trained young was trained).

[Unregistered]

Yes things are different now, but not all training was accomplished by negative methods when kids were trained younger. No need for that at all. Emphasis on the positive and playing as if pottying was a game is the way I learned to do it. Fewer words, but more expectations.

[WBee]

Thank you for your wonderful insight! It is appreciated. I'm very experienced as well, worked in centers for many years, however, this child can go a month w/o incidents and then two incidents one week, one the next, then good for another month even. I'm really concerned with it being more of a health issue, or even an emotional issue. I wouldn't put him back in diapers now. I'm just wondering if I have any legal right to insisting on the drs findings? Believe it or not, the younger brother has been doing very well, not to say that he will stay that way for certain, and yes, he is in pullups as I refused underwear this time and gave them a new policy. DCM is training for all the wrong reasons too. I am considering terming the family if I do not get Drs. results in hand. How do I demand it in a professional way? I really feel that she has hindered him both physically and emotionally with this entire process and I want no part of it if it's going to continue through the Spring! Thank you!

[WBee]

I've worked in 3 centers and owned my own licensed home daycare for about 25 years. I

Thank you for your wonderful insight! It is appreciated. I'm very experienced as well, worked in centers for many years, however, this child can go a month w/o incidents and then two incidents one week, one the next, then good for another month even. I'm really concerned with it being more of a health issue, or even an emotional issue. I wouldn't put him back in diapers now. I'm just wondering if I have any legal right to insisting on the drs findings? Believe it or not, the younger brother has been doing very well, not to say that he will stay that way for certain, and yes, he is in pullups as I refused underwear this time and gave them a new policy. DCM is training for all the wrong reasons too. I am considering terming the family if I do not get Drs. results in hand. How do I demand it in a professional way? I really feel that she has hindered him both physically and emotionally with this entire process and I want no part of it if it's going to continue through the Spring! Thank you!

[WBee]

I've worked in 3 centers and owned my own licensed home daycare for about 25 years. I worked at the 3 centers within the last 10 years when I moved a couple of times while waiting on my new license at the address I had moved to.

I say all that to let you know that it's not just my 'opinion', but backing me up is 3 daycare centers. None of them nor I potty train a boy until they are between 3 and 3 1/2 years old. We don't start on their 3rd birthday, we wait a couple of months after they turn 3.

25 years ago, I would have trained a 2 year old boy. But every veteran daycare provider I have talked to throughout the 25 years have agreed with me that as the years pass, children just aren't ready to potty train as young as they used to. We used to train a girl at age 1 and a boy at age 2. Now, we train a girl at age 2 and a boy at age 3.

I'd demand that the child be put in diapers until he's 3. You are causing way too much stress on the child and will make it even harder to train him.

I bet the mother just doesn't want to spend money on diapers. I also bet she doesn't potty train him at home. I'm sure he's in diapers at home and she wants you and only you to train him. Which we all know won't work. The child must be trained at both home and daycare. I really don't think the mother is allowing him to pee all over her house.

Thank you for your wonderful insight! It is appreciated. I'm very experienced as well, worked in centers for many years, however, this child is now 3 1/2 and (his brother-now training is 2) can go a month w/o incidents and then two incidents one week, one the next, then good for another month even. I'm really concerned with it being more of a health issue, or even an emotional issue. I wouldn't put him back in diapers now. I'm just wondering if I have any legal right to insisting on the drs findings? Believe it or not, the younger brother has been doing very well, not to say that he will stay that way for certain, and yes, he is in pullups as I refused underwear this time and gave them a new policy. DCM is training for all the wrong reasons too. I am considering terming the family if I do not get Drs. results in hand. How do I demand it in a professional way? I really feel that she has hindered him both physically and emotionally with this entire process and I want no part of it if it's going to continue through the Spring! Thank you!

[WBee]

You need to just stop ALLOWING them to pee all over your house. Tell MOM that her kid has been pushed too hard and is pushing back. Tell her that when he can tell you that he has to go BEFORE he goes, and he goes 2-3 weeks without an accident at YOUR house, he can wear underwear. Until then, put the kid in diapers (because he NEEDS them!). I would tell MOM no diapers, no daycare. My pediatrician tells me that the average age for boys to be trained is 3.5. Forcing a 2 year old to try to train when he wasn't ready is just not right.

He is 3 1/2...This started when he was 2 1/2. I cannot have him put back in diapers now. It has been a year. He is fine for a few weeks, sometimes even a month, then has issues on & off again. It's insane! Emotional? Physical? Now we are training the younger DCB and he is 2. I have given a new policy and he is to stay in pullups until 2 weeks accident free here-not at home. I'm just at my wits end! How do I demand a Drs. findings note professionally?

[Leigh]

He is 3 1/2...This started when he was 2 1/2. I cannot have him put back in diapers now. It has been a year. He is fine for a few weeks, sometimes even a month, then has issues on & off again. It's insane! Emotional? Physical? Now we are training the younger DCB and he is 2. I have given a new policy and he is to stay in pullups until 2 weeks accident free here-not at home. I'm just at my wits end! How do I demand a Drs. findings note professionally?

The fact is, either the kid needs pull ups or diapers, or he will be peeing all over your house. I would tell Mom that it is just not acceptable to let it keep happening,and that something needs to be done on her end, whether it's to keep him in pull ups or take him to a specialist. A urologist would be logical. The kid could be constipated and not showing any outward signs other than lack of bladder control. I don't think you can demand a diagnosis because of HIPAA law, but you can certainly ASK for one.

[Controlled Chaos]

I have a child who is 5 and still has an occasional accident. I have noticed them to happen right before a big growth spurt. She has been trained for 2.5 years, at night too. The Dr thinks she just has a tiny bladder and when her anatomy is changing it gets hard to regulate. Maybe it is something similar with this child? I would encourage Dr visit if the accidents become more regular. I would worry about a uti, or something. But some kids get busy playing and just forget to pause and go. Home is less exciting. Maybe make a sticker chart for when he decides to go on his own. It might be as simple as teaching him how to stop mid play to do something else. Or I may be way off base.

[Play Care]

I have a child who is 5 and still has an occasional accident. I have noticed them to happen right before a big growth spurt. She has been trained for 2.5 years, at night too. The Dr thinks she just has a tiny bladder and when her anatomy is changing it gets hard to regulate. Maybe it is something similar with this child? I would encourage Dr visit if the accidents become more regular. I would worry about a uti, or something. But some kids get busy playing and just forget to pause and go. Home is less exciting. Maybe make a sticker chart for when he decides to go on his own. It might be as simple as teaching him how to stop mid play to do something else. Or I may be way off base.

If he goes months without accident and then has one - it could be "laziness"
At my day care I use natural transition times to have kids use the potty. *Everyone* tries. This isn't timed intervals, just natural transitions. We rarely have accidents - actually I can't remember the last time someone had an accident... (knocks on wood!:: )

[Controlled Chaos]

If he goes months without accident and then has one - it could be "laziness"
At my day care I use natural transition times to have kids use the potty. *Everyone* tries. This isn't timed intervals, just natural transitions. We rarely have accidents - actually I can't remember the last time someone had an accident... (knocks on wood!:: )

Everyone here goes before outside time, after lunch and after nap. This works out to be roughly every 2 hours. I think it helps a ton!

[WBee]

Everyone here goes before outside time, after lunch and after nap. This works out to be roughly every 2 hours. I think it helps a ton!

Everyone here goes after breakfast, prior to outside, after nap, after snacks, etc. also. He even told me today that he had an accident at home this week. I even ask him if he needs to go often. It just makes no sense at all to have to go every 20 min. on some days and other days are fine. I'm really thinking it's an emotional thing. He always states, "Mommy screamed at me for peeing in my pants....."