Starting A Week Of Frustration

[Unregistered]

You are something else!

I would be livid if I took my kid to daycare and the provider put a diaper on them after they used the potty all weekend, if you don't want to deal with accidents that 2 years old make when potty training, don't watch 2 year olds.

Children learn to potty train much faster when they feel that they had an accident and it's uncomfortable, they don't want to feel wet and poopy, therefore to avoid that feeling, they use the potty. Will there be accidents during this process? Yes, that's part of the deal. Potty training has to be consistant, she can't be in underwear at home and diapers at daycare.

I'm just going to say it. Are you high? Seriously? When was the last time that you potty trained a child, let alone more than one child at once? Yes, I'm sure that it's preferable for a child to be in underwear and not a diaper/pull-up, but guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY IN A DAYCARE SETTING WHERE THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR OTHER CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO YOUR CHILD'S EXCREMENT! Seriously, work on potty training at home any way that you'd like, but deal with the fact that most providers need some insurance until a child is truly potty trained. If it makes you so "livid" then feel free to find a daycare provider who'll let you have your way. Seriously, I think that you sound like the type of parent who thinks that she can just push around her provider because you feel like she "works" for you. You're nothing more than a bully, lady.

[momma2girls]

I never allowed my own children to pee or poop on the carpet, furniture, etc. so why would I ever think about allowing daycare children to do this!! No way!! THey are in pullups or diapers until fully potty trained, this means, accident free for quite some time, and goes on their own without any assistance from myself(this comes from my contract)

[broncomom1973]

I'm just going to say it. Are you high? Seriously? When was the last time that you potty trained a child, let alone more than one child at once? Yes, I'm sure that it's preferable for a child to be in underwear and not a diaper/pull-up, but guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY IN A DAYCARE SETTING WHERE THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR OTHER CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO YOUR CHILD'S EXCREMENT! Seriously, work on potty training at home any way that you'd like, but deal with the fact that most providers need some insurance until a child is truly potty trained. If it makes you so "livid" then feel free to find a daycare provider who'll let you have your way. Seriously, I think that you sound like the type of parent who thinks that she can just push around her provider because you feel like she "works" for you. You're nothing more than a bully, lady.

I just went through this a few weeks ago, DCM comes in says dcb was in underwear all weekend. I was like OK. I took him every 45 minutes, asked him at least every 30min if he needed to go. He never went in the bathroom but peed on my chair during breakfast and again during lunch. Ran all down his legs onto his socks and my carpet. I told her if you are going to bring him while potty training, he either needs pull-ups or plastic underwear over his undies. She said "I've heard they train faster with underwear". Well, not here. She said they would work on it at home over Christmas. I have been closed because dd had strep, so we will see what tomorrow brings. It isnt my job to clean up after him because she doesnt want to buy pull-ups or plastic underwear. That is insane!!!!!

[Unregistered]

I'm just going to say it. Are you high? Seriously? When was the last time that you potty trained a child, let alone more than one child at once? Yes, I'm sure that it's preferable for a child to be in underwear and not a diaper/pull-up, but guess what? IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY IN A DAYCARE SETTING WHERE THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR OTHER CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO YOUR CHILD'S EXCREMENT! Seriously, work on potty training at home any way that you'd like, but deal with the fact that most providers need some insurance until a child is truly potty trained. If it makes you so "livid" then feel free to find a daycare provider who'll let you have your way. Seriously, I think that you sound like the type of parent who thinks that she can just push around her provider because you feel like she "works" for you. You're nothing more than a bully, lady.

Actually, I am a daycare provider, I care for 5 children, 1 is an infant, 2 are toddlers (15 and 18 months) and the other 2 are potty training 2 year olds. They are taken to the potty every 45 minutes, it isn't that big of a deal, it isn't "too hard" or "too much work", it's part of the job, I say that I'll watch 2-3 year olds, well potty training is part of the package. If it was "too much trouble" then I wouldn't watch 2 year olds, it's that simple.

As far as kids falling in, slipping in, being exposed to a potty training kids "accident", that's ridiculous, if they wet their pants 99% of the "accident" is contained to the child themself, there won't be puddles lying around, lets not be so dramatic.

Sorry, you sound lazy, kids have accidents, clean it up and move on.

[laundrymom]

I refuse to allow puddles either. I'm not lazy I just think the sanitation concerns outweigh the benefits. Yes they learn faster when they feel the wetness but they learn even faster when you wait until they are ready to learn. It should not take months or weeks even. It should be days. If the child is ready that's the key. I care for 10 kids ages 6 weeks to 5 years. Lots of children have been through my program over the last 22years.
I think containing the mess is the key. And the main issue most providers have. I will continue to diaper over unders until the day I close. Because for me it is just my policy. Parents either agree with it or go elsewhere.

Actually, I am a daycare provider, I care for 5 children, 1 is an infant, 2 are toddlers (15 and 18 months) and the other 2 are potty training 2 year olds. They are taken to the potty every 45 minutes, it isn't that big of a deal, it isn't "too hard" or "too much work", it's part of the job, I say that I'll watch 2-3 year olds, well potty training is part of the package. If it was "too much trouble" then I wouldn't watch 2 year olds, it's that simple.

As far as kids falling in, slipping in, being exposed to a potty training kids "accident", that's ridiculous, if they wet their pants 99% of the "accident" is contained to the child themself, there won't be puddles lying around, lets not be so dramatic.

Sorry, you sound lazy, kids have accidents, clean it up and move on.

[Live and Learn]

mac60:
I am with you!...100%
no way am I having a little one who has been *quote* "potty trained" for two days go piddle, piddle, puddle all over my house!
My house, my rules!
I decide when lil one goes from diapers to panties at my house-not parents.
They can do what they want at their own house.
I have a large brood of my own children and only one was potty trained on his second birthday and NEVER made an accident. All the rest had accidents occasionally. With my own kids it was quilted undies with rubber pants over and then when no accidents on to undies. NO PULL UPS!
With my dc kiddies it is diapers then undies. NO PULL UPS!
I child hasn't been potty trained if I am reminding him and taking him to the potty every half hour or so.
They are potty trained when they tell me they need to go.
I hope the rest of your week has improved.

[nikia]

Actually, I am a daycare provider, I care for 5 children, 1 is an infant, 2 are toddlers (15 and 18 months) and the other 2 are potty training 2 year olds. They are taken to the potty every 45 minutes, it isn't that big of a deal, it isn't "too hard" or "too much work", it's part of the job, I say that I'll watch 2-3 year olds, well potty training is part of the package. If it was "too much trouble" then I wouldn't watch 2 year olds, it's that simple.

As far as kids falling in, slipping in, being exposed to a potty training kids "accident", that's ridiculous, if they wet their pants 99% of the "accident" is contained to the child themself, there won't be puddles lying around, lets not be so dramatic.

Sorry, you sound lazy, kids have accidents, clean it up and move on.

Are you kidding me??? There aren't puddles? Maybe its just the two year olds I have but it runs down the leg to the socks and on to the floor and if this happens while I'm in the kitchen making lunch and the little one comes to tell me they peed then I have pee foot prints from the one room to the kitchen. Its a little more than just changing pants and moving on. then there is the bm and how it sticks to underwear or falls on the floor when you take them off. Its disgusting and unsanitary. I have crafts, books to read and hugs to give I dont have time to mop up pee and scrub poop off my floor, couch or chairs. I guess if that makes me lazy so be it.

[ninosqueridos]

um, YEAH there ARE puddles! I've had "oh, she's been in underwear at home for 3 days" (never once asked to go potty ever) and then the first 30 minutes she's here, the puddle on the floor. Hope your week improves!!

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

Are you kidding me??? There aren't puddles? Maybe its just the two year olds I have but it runs down the leg to the socks and on to the floor and if this happens while I'm in the kitchen making lunch and the little one comes to tell me they peed then I have pee foot prints from the one room to the kitchen. Its a little more than just changing pants and moving on. then there is the bm and how it sticks to underwear or falls on the floor when you take them off. Its disgusting and unsanitary. I have crafts, books to read and hugs to give I dont have time to mop up pee and scrub poop off my floor, couch or chairs. I guess if that makes me lazy so be it.

Exactly. And if the child doesn't tell us they had an accident until we see their wet pants, we get to go looking for the puddle by following the pee foot prints. Seriously, we really do. One day last week there were at least 3 or 4 puddles (yes, actual puddles) to clean up before lunch time ever came around. That was a bad day for all of them on potty training (even one of the potty trained ones had trouble that day...). In fact, at one point, we knew one of them had an accident, but somehow or other they didn't leave foot prints, and we couldn't find the puddle! We did find it later when we moved a chair and "water" dripped down YUCK! I did some major mopping and sanitizing that day during nap time! What if another child had sat in that! What if we had? What if someone from the state had came in and decided to have a seat on that particular chair before we found the "water"... yes, puddles around the daycare are a big deal. And it's even worse when you have more than 1 or 2 in the process at one time.
Mac60, how's the poop charting going? :: Did you say anything to DCF1?

[nannyde]

Actually, I am a daycare provider, I care for 5 children, 1 is an infant, 2 are toddlers (15 and 18 months) and the other 2 are potty training 2 year olds. They are taken to the potty every 45 minutes, it isn't that big of a deal, it isn't "too hard" or "too much work", it's part of the job, I say that I'll watch 2-3 year olds, well potty training is part of the package. If it was "too much trouble" then I wouldn't watch 2 year olds, it's that simple.

As far as kids falling in, slipping in, being exposed to a potty training kids "accident", that's ridiculous, if they wet their pants 99% of the "accident" is contained to the child themself, there won't be puddles lying around, lets not be so dramatic.

Sorry, you sound lazy, kids have accidents, clean it up and move on.

That's so silly. It makes me question whether you are really a provider. If you haven't had kids walking around in pee saturated socks then you haven't done day care for too long and haven't had too many kids.

It aint personal. It's gravity.

Taking kids to the potty every 45 minutes is also something I would never do. It's putting WAY too much focus on potty training and takes away from the group.

I've only had two potty accidents in the nine years I have lived in this house and both kids did it on their first day in undies after being dry for two weeks.

The last accident I had here was when my past dck was three and she is now 7.5. I have had 3.5 years without a single accident and nine years with only two accidents total. I manage this because I rock at potty training.

The number one reason I rock in potty training is that I don't allow the parents words to influence my decision of when to put them in undies. I listen to their progress but "I" decide the day they go into undies. I wasn't so smart the first few years I did day care but I've learned over the years that a LOT of parents viewpoints of their kids readiness to train and ability to train is very very far away from how the kid will do in my house.

My number two rule is the child must be able to SAY THE WORDS "I have to go potty BEFORE they have to go potty" and have them actually GO potty after saying those words. They have to SAY THOSE WORDS for two weeks before they are put in undies and have two weeks consecutive ACCIDENT FREE.

That pretty much eliminates any gray area.

I have three of six now that are potty trained and not a one has had an accident in my house. They potty trained at 2.5 years to 3.25 years. They all potty trained here with my system and made it thru without a single pee accident. The last one that trained did it completely on his own. I've never even had to tell him to go to the potty or asked him if he wants to go. He has a much older sib and learned what to do at home. He was 2.5 when it was done and he's VERY verbal.

In the end it's a personal choice. It's our equipment and our time/money when a kid has an accident that requires a lot of staff time to clean up. The best way to solve parents wanting to do your system (the accidents are normal and okay... only get on their clothes... and the provider takes the kid to the potty every 45 minutes) is to require a signed agreement that they will pay for any carpet, upholstery, equipment to be done by a proffessional cleaning company on an on call immediate basis. As long as they agree that they will pay to have a pro come to your house to steam clean your home and equipment then the going in undies and having accidents would work fine. Since one trip of that would cost more than a couple of months of diapers... I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone to sign and agree.

If they don't want to pay for the clean up then the provider needs to get to decide when they go in undies. I don't even use the diaper over undies method until they are really really far into the process and only if I have a two/three percent chance idea they could have an accident... like during our walk when it's a hardship for everyone to come back to the house to do clothing change. Other than that I just use diapers during the process. Pullups don't help me much. They are so crappily made now that I would only use them for older kids who have not trained yet but who can manage their own diapering with pull ups.

[SilverSabre25]

I also agree--to a point--with the idea that a child who is really potty trained will use the potty regardless of what is covering their bottom. I wouldn't expect them to do this at the beginning, before they've gotten used to underwear, but I would expect them to be able to do it after being used to underwear. IMO, a child who is truly ready to be potty trained will train up very quickly once underwear are put on them--and ready to be trained includes being verbal enough (or have enough signs) to initiate potty trips on their own.

[Crystal]

Potty training has always been, always will be, a source of contention between parents and many providers. Personally, I don't have issues with potty trainnig and parents, as the parents respect that I have MUCH more experience in this area than they do and I am typically the one who announces that the child is in training. I usually start before even talking to the parent about it, and typically my kids are trained within a couple of days, in undies, not pull-ups.

However, the original post here seems to be more about a parent/provider problem, not just potty training.

Mac, I think what parent #1 did was completely unncceptable and you should have told her on the spot that this is not in your job description. Personally, I would help the parent out, but NOT if that was how it was brought up....it would have had to have been a request, in advance, and the parent would have to be involved at home as well.....the chart would have to go back and forth and I would have to see that the parents were actually doing it to continue with it. I wonder though, why you simply accept that from the parent....why didn't you tell her how you felt about it?

Parent #2 would be told that the child was being put in diapers and that I don't believe the child is ready. I wouldn't have done it without telling the parent though, by NOT saying something to the parent at the time it seems to the parent that you are in agreement and that you will follow through with her request.

[Blackcat31]

Potty training has always been, always will be, a source of contention between parents and many providers. Personally, I don't have issues with potty trainnig and parents, as the parents respect that I have MUCH more experience in this area than they do and I am typically the one who announces that the child is in training. I usually start before even talking to the parent about it, and typically my kids are trained within a couple of days, in undies, not pull-ups.

This is soooo true! Especially for children who are full time. Full time children spend a majority of their waking hours in childcare so the provider really does know when the child is ready and able. However, the original post here seems to be more about a parent/provider problem, not just potty training.
This seems very logical and reasonable as well since the op didn't say anything about this sort of activity not being in her job description.....I have lines and boundaries and charting poop is not within them!!

Mac, I think what parent #1 did was completely unncceptable and you should have told her on the spot that this is not in your job description. Personally, I would help the parent out, but NOT if that was how it was brought up....it would have had to have been a request, in advance, and the parent would have to be involved at home as well.....the chart would have to go back and forth and I would have to see that the parents were actually doing it to continue with it. I wonder though, why you simply accept that from the parent....why didn't you tell her how you felt about it?

Parent #2 would be told that the child was being put in diapers and that I don't believe the child is ready. I wouldn't have done it without telling the parent though, by NOT saying something to the parent at the time it seems to the parent that you are in agreement and that you will follow through with her request.

I also want to add that I have seen many times over the years that children will and can use the toilet at daycare but NOT at home and some use it at home and NOT at daycare so it goes both ways....but when they are in my home I, like nannyde, have to be the one to decide if they are ready for toileting abilities since group settings are not the same as being at home. I currently have one little boy right now who is 3.5 yrs old and has been wearing a pull-up WITH NO ACCIDENTS here for well over 6 months but I know for a fact he wears a diaper and pees/poos in it at home. Mom says he won't "perform" for her.....NOT my problem because he does just fine here. But it just goes to show ya...kids are behave differently in different environments and if the environment is my house; then it is my rules. I have no problem working with a parent and trying to do it together but I also know what each child can and can't do for me; it is the parents responsibilty to know what their child can and can't do when with them. I can't make any parent follow any rules outside my daycare so I handle each situation individually as to how it works while at my house.

[MarinaVanessa]

For family #1 I would have just said that I'm too busy to chart poop and would have offered to save every dirty diaper with poop in it and bag it up so they can take it home and chart it themselves. I would have even written the time on it if they preffered . Personally i wouldnt want to do it, they can do it themselves and i'll add an .."that way it can be charted correctly because my definition of one poop may not be your definition of that same poop" and then give them a big smile.

... or I would have done the long vacant stare followed with an uncomfortable and akward silence.

[Former Teacher]

So.....

How's it going so far?