Telling the truth may have cost me a family

[Sunchimes]

I have a new family starting on Monday. She is starting school and said she is getting a grant to pay for daycare. I thought she meant some kind of grant from the school. I made it clear that I didn't take CCA, and she said it wasn't like that. She would pay me and they would pay her. Skeptical, but ok.

She is paying out her deposit over 5 weeks at $50 a week. Yesterday, a lady from Health and Human Services called to confirm that her daycare costs were $170 a week. I explained that her weekly cost was $120, but for the first month, she would be paying the extra $50. The woman was, "Ooohhhh. I see. Well. Thank you for explaining."

Two problems. I may have messed up her money, so this whole deal may not work but a week before she figures out there is no money.

The other is just my personal rant. I worked really, really hard to get through college. No one offered me any grants for daycare (I don't think they had been invented back then. ). Now, my hard earned tax money is going to give her free daycare, while I will have to work my butt off earning that money AGAIN! Not happy. She'd better mind her p's and q's because I don't like having to earn money twice while someone else gets a free ride. She'd better have that cash money in hand Monday morning, and every Monday after that. Rant over. Thank you for listening.

[permanentvacation]

You shouldn't be bothered that you might have messed her up by telling the lady the truth. She shouldn't be lying or trying to 'get around the system' in the first place!

I know what you mean about watching someone else get a free ride. I've told you guys a couple of times about how irritated I am about actually, the majority of my family getting free rides from the government. My niece literally moved up here from out of state to purposely be homeless for a year so she could get a free house from the government after that year!:confused: Just WOW! How sad and pathetic!

Then there's my sister who has completely lived off the government (our taxes) for God knows how many years. I could go on for days about her, two of her grown children and her 5, 6, or however many grandchildren she raises from her two drug addicted children.

No one in my sister nor niece's houses have worked in years. They all completely live off of our taxes!

I'm so irritated by the way they live, their lack of self-respect, laziness, desire and ability to completely use and live off of others that I have completely stopped communicating with all of my family members in those households.

If the daycare mom's lifestyle bothers you too much, you could chose not to work with her. Of course, that won't change her ways. But you won't have to see it constantly and be irritated by the thought of her getting the use of your tax dollars.

[Sunchimes]

I'm not bothered about losing her. I don't lie for anyone, and I certainly don't lie to the government! In theory, she is only going to be here until school starts in Aug, but I'll be surprised if she lasts that long. She's 4 and has never been in daycare. Mom's already told me she doesn't nap and doesn't eat regular meals, just snacks all day. I said we didn't work that way, but I would help her adjust. :-) She is a really sweet kid, I think she will be a great fit. She is really excited about being here, which is a good start. Just not sure mom will fit. :-) But thanks to this site, I have a back bone!

As for the money, I blame mom less than I do the government. Free daycare just because she is in school shouldn't even exist.

[Josiegirl]

Maybe dcm misunderstood when she filled out the forms? Because she's paying the extra 50 bucks for 5 weeks so that's how she entered it? I don't know.

[CraftyMom]

I understand your frustration at her free ride, I get frustrated about these types of things too. But it really isn't her fault, she is just using what is offered to her. At least this mom is using free daycare while she goes to school to better herself. The ones that tick me off are the ones that get free daycare and do not work or go to school, and take advantage of anything and everything they can get for free. Your dcm is at least on the right track. Those are the ones who deserve it IMO.

[permanentvacation]

I agree with CraftyMom. If the lady is actually going to school, she has every right to utilize the services offered to her. And it's a positive thing that she's working towards bettering herself. The thing that got me is where she seems to be trying to get extra money from the government. If she's lying to get extra money, than she is improperly using the system and that irritates the mess out of me.

[Sunchimes]

As I said up in the thread somewhere, I blame her less than I do the government. They are so free and easy with our money. I've never had one like you describe, not working, but it would drive me crazy.

[crazydaycarelady]

I agree with Josie - we shouldn't jump to conclusions, maybe dcm didn't lie. Her dc expense really is $170/week right now.

[melilley]

I have a parent who went to Michigan State University and received a daycare grant. They also called to verify how much she is paying a week. Her grant only paid so much of her dc and she paid the rest. She always paid me in lump sums before care was given. I didn't mind.

[melilley]

I understand your frustration at her free ride, I get frustrated about these types of things too. But it really isn't her fault, she is just using what is offered to her. At least this mom is using free daycare while she goes to school to better herself. The ones that tick me off are the ones that get free daycare and do not work or go to school, and take advantage of anything and everything they can get for free. Your dcm is at least on the right track. Those are the ones who deserve it IMO.

I agree 100%. I have a dc mom who received a child care grant from the university she was going to. She went to school full time (just graduated) and worked part part time some of the time.

I may be biased because I did ask for help when my dd was in dc (a long time ago) and had help from the state to pay for dc, BUT I worked full time. There is a difference between needing help and abusing it. If they offered grants when I was in college, I would have used them for sure!

[Thriftylady]

I look at government help this way. Sometimes people need a boost to get going or keep going and I don't mind that. What I do mind is those who are ALWAYS on aid. When my hubby got laid off a few years ago, it was three years before he could find another job. Right in the middle of the depression and several companies left here, his plant went to Mexico at the time. Our area is still economically depressed, and yet another major employer is going to Mexico now. Because it is cheaper to operate there and less EPA regulation. Many people in our are have gotten help in the last few years just while trying to find a job. There was a time when fast food places were full up and not hiring and White Castle closed their store. So in that respect, ok people need help. But when it is people on it for years on end or generations on end, I have problems with that. Hopefully she is short term. The short time we got help, I looked at it as getting my taxes back, we only got medical and food stamps at the time. As soon as hubby could, he got back to work. That was only after he retrained and got his CDL so he could drive truck. Big adjustment for us and we hate it but you do what you gotta do.

[CraftyMom]

As I said up in the thread somewhere, I blame her less than I do the government. They are so free and easy with our money. I've never had one like you describe, not working, but it would drive me crazy.

[Sunchimes]

Update

Well, she didn't get her grant. She said it was because too many people lived with her. I didn't ask what that meant, but I assume it meant her baby's daddy living there. I have to admit to prior prejudice. I've had experience with this family before. One of her family members was one of my early families. It was before I knew about contracts and found my backbone. I never knew if she would pay me or not. Some check or other was always late, etc.

I don't expect this to last long. He has a decent job, but this is a chunk of money to suddenly have to come up with every week. I hope I'm wrong. The little girl is a treasure.