Is this normal?

[kchlmom]

I have a DCG, 3 yo, Only child. She is extremely babied by her parents and can do no wrong in their eyes. Everything she does is "adorable" No discipline. Mom complains that she slaps her and pulls her hair trying to put her in her carseat. I have no problems putting her in one. She is developmentally behind (IMO) the other 3yo's I care for. No concept of how to hold a crayon, still "mouthes" all toys, wilfully destroys toys, bullies other children, cannot feed herself and seems to exist at home only on sippy cups of juice and goldfish crackers. But the most concerning to me is her talking to herself. She has full out conversations with herself but answers herself as well, speaking in third person. Conversations usually go something to the effect of " I told you not to ever do that ****" " I know I am sorry" or one day she was repeatedly calling her name and answered herself by saying "****'s not here right now" She will be pouting and crying to herself one minute and then will start talking to herself and answering herself and start giggling. I have raised 4 kids of my own and countless DCG's and DCB's and never encountered this type of talking to themselves. It is very different as she speaks as two different people and the conversations arent really about toys or playing .She also speaks about "Whiteface" at her house and how "Whiteface" wont hurt her but will hurt mommy or daddy or me. DCM is not the type of mom who you could ever suggest something is off with her daughter as she thinks their whole family is just perfect!

[Indoorvoice]

I would be concerned about the talking to herself. It's possible that it's no big deal, but I once had a young student with child onset schizophrenia who talked to herself in an eerily similar fashion. You could bring it up by asking mom if she does that home and what they do when she does it. She needs an eval!

[kchlmom]

I would be concerned about the talking to herself. It's possible that it's no big deal, but I once had a young student with child onset schizophrenia who talked to herself in an eerily similar fashion. You could bring it up by asking mom if she does that home and what they do when she does it. She needs an eval!

Thanks! That is actually a great, non-invasive way to question mom about it. I am always kind of tiptoing around mom so as not to "offend" her.

[Indoorvoice]

Oh yes. We all have parents like that! And it is a touchy subject because there is such a stigma with mental illnesses or anything that could make a child not"perfect"for that matter.. However, if you don't say something they will be the first to question why you never mentioned it when they do find out something is wrong! I always approach questions about delays and other issues that need to be checked out as "no big deal". I say something like, "I noticed dcg/dcb does x, which is not typical for children their age. It wouldn't hurt to get it checked out/get an eval. It could be nothing, but if it's something, it's better to know now than later. Just wanted you to know!"

[Ariana]

I would definitely bring it up in that way too. I think something might be going on there poor kid . Have you seen the Oprah show about the kid with schizophrenia? This particular kid was really out of control.

I had a mom like this and they are usually the ones hiding the most unfortunately. The kid I was taking care of was deaf but mom had no idea. I would question her all the time and she was in denial and flat out lying to me. I ended up having to term because I can't work with a child that obviously needs special attention and I have no way of giving it if they haven't been diagnosed.

[daycare]

my niece did this at around age 4

The one thing that I am bothered by that my niece also had in common is talking about people hurting others.

My niece would talk to herself, perhaps what seemed like she was nuts, but it turned out (she is 8 now) that she was hurt by her biological father and this was a coping mechanism that she used. She went to years of therapy and I believe is still going.

I would def bring this up to the parents. You can say..

Have you ever noticed when susie does this________________or I wanted to ask you if susie ever talks to you about whiteface, she keeps telling us about this whiteface and that they hurt people.

let them have the chance to respond.

[Heidi]

my niece did this at around age 4

The one thing that I am bothered by that my niece also had in common is talking about people hurting others.

My niece would talk to herself, perhaps what seemed like she was nuts, but it turned out (she is 8 now) that she was hurt by her biological father and this was a coping mechanism that she used. She went to years of therapy and I believe is still going.

I would def bring this up to the parents. You can say..

Have you ever noticed when susie does this________________or I wanted to ask you if susie ever talks to you about whiteface, she keeps telling us about this whiteface and that they hurt people.

let them have the chance to respond.

Starting with "have you noticed" always works for me. It seem's less confrontational, maybe.

I would have this conversation out of dcg's hearing, though. Maybe have mom call you after bed time, or have someone distract her while you talk in the other room.

[daycarediva]

It could be a movie or tv show as well. I have heard/stopped and had to discuss a LOT of inappropriate for children conversations/play schemes. Most revolved around something a child should not have ever seen or heard in the first place.

A quick google tells me white face is the name of a character in horror-themed downloadable PC game.

[kchlmom]

Thanks everyone for the great tips. I think I will casually bring it up to DCM next week ad see what kind of response I get