Really Need Advice

[Unregistered]

I have an account but chose to post privately for personal reasons. I've done childcare all my life, I did inhome for 4 years and loved it great kids amazing parents it was such a great experience. I stopped doing in home as something traumatic in my personal life happened which caused me to move. I then spent 4 years working at a center also loved it but the management was terrible and I found myself so stressed out. I had spent a year trying to get pregnant and couldn't my guess is all the stress. Well this past August I left the center to begin in home again. I was much happier doing it, well it has been less stress in ways and far worse in others. I found out this month I am pregnant 5.5 weeks and I find myself so stressed by the bad behavior of the children. I find myself getting short, on edge all the time, I don't really know what to do. I need to continue to do this for money reasons, jobs here are few and far between but I also want to continue doing a good job. I don't want myself stressed for these kids or for the baby I'm expecting. I'm in a really tough spot and am asking for help and advice. I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying

[sharlan]

I'm guessing that pregnancy hormones are wreaking havoc with you.

Can you get outside with the kids more? Can you take walks up and down the street? I find getting outside and walking with the kids to ease things when I'm stressed out.

[Unregistered]

I'm guessing that pregnancy hormones are wreaking havoc with you.

Can you get outside with the kids more? Can you take walks up and down the street? I find getting outside and walking with the kids to ease things when I'm stressed out.

It's been freezing cold lately, we only made it out for 15 minutes this morning it was a bit warmer today and we made it out for a walk down the road.

[permanentvacation]

Your first priority is the safety of the baby you are carrying. Being under too much stress is harmful to your baby. I understand that you want to do a 'good job' with your daycare, but you might be doing more than you really need to do to/with/and for your daycare that is causing you unnecessary stress.

Many home daycares around my area don't do anything with their children other than have toys for them to play with and turn the television on to the cartoons.

If you are doing a lot of activities with the children, maybe you can cut back and offer a more 'play based' learning environment.

If you cook for the children, maybe you can start having the parents provide their meals.

If I were you, I would really evaluate myself for the next couple of days and see what throughout my day actually causes me more stress and what things I am doing that I don't really have to do and then make changes, stop doing the things that cause me stress.

Often in daycare, regarding the children acting up, causing chaos, not listening, often, that is all caused by one child who gets the whole group wound up. I would start paying close attention to my daycare kids and see if there's 'one bad apple' that you might need to terminate which would then leave you with a calm, well-behaved group.

Also, pay attention to your evening and weekend life style. Are you doing more than you need to then? Are you getting stressed by things in your personal life in the evenings and weekends? If so, see if you can make changes to your personal habits and routines.

You said that jobs are hard to find in your area. But, do you think you would be less stressed going out to work in a non-child care setting? If so, you could start putting applications in different places while still doing home daycare in hopes of getting a calmer, less stressful job soon.

With your daycare kids, instead of you doing everything for the little ones, you can have kids as young as 2 1/2 help you a bit. Get the kids to do more for themselves rather than you doing everything for them. Put a trash can in their area, feed them on paper plates with plastic ware and have them throw away their plates and plastic ware after they eat. Tell the older ones to go get you a diaper and the wipes that you need to change the younger ones diapers. Get the older ones to help the little ones clean up. You might have to rearrange your daycare to make it easier for the kids to do more for themselves.

Have the older ones, ages 3 and up, 'read' some books to the other children. The 3 year olds love 'reading' and telling stories that they make up from looking at the pictures in books.

[Baby Beluga]

First...congrats on the baby lovethis

I'm sorry you are so stressed out Being pregnant can be difficult but especially so when working in childcare.

A couple of the things that help me when I get stressed are:

-Remembering why you do your job. You said above you do this job for money and jobs are hard to come by in your area. Remember that. You are working to live, not living to work. The light you turned on? Your job helped pay for that. The lunch you ate or the gas you put in your car? Your job helped pay for that. The little one inside of you? Your job is helping to give that little one the best life you can provide. The job may stink at times, but it is a job and the position you are in now is likely better then not having a job at all. Sometimes visual reminders help me. I have a dry erase board on my fridge that I write stuff on. Currently there is a note on there that says "remember why do this: land, house, retirement, new car" It helps me to remember that I am doing this job now for things I want in the future.

-Writing down 5 things each day you are grateful for. This helps me to focus on the positive parts of my day which reminds me that things really aren't as bad as they sometimes seem which then equates to less stress.

-I also drink Natural Calm everyday. I am not sure if you can take it while pregnant though so I would double check with your OB on that.

I hope you get to feeling better soon :hug:

[Unregistered]

Thank you for your suggestions I really appreciate it! My evenings and weekends are very busy lately, someone very close to be recently tried to commit suicide, they are currently in the hospital about an hour away and I have spent every second night in the hospital with them and all the past weekend and probably the one coming up. I also have a dd6 and my bf is away working. Life just seems to be a ball of stress

[Heidi]

Is it possible for you to find someone to come help you in your program a couple mornings per week? If you belong to a church, you could ask for volunteers, or you could call the local high school or college and ask if there is anyone who is in Early Childhood classes that may be interested.

Sometimes just having another adult around for a while helps.

If you can afford it, you could hire someone, but I realize that's not feasible for a lot of us.

[AuntTami]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this right now! You're under immense amounts of stress and that's not healthy for your new baby(congrats btw!!)

Just stop and take a deep breath for a minute. If you find yourself getting really worked up, put the kids in a safe spot, and take a "time out" for yourself. Even if that means you sit in the corner for 2 minutes.

I agree with permanentvacation-See if there's areas where you can cut back. If there's one part of your day that stresses you out the most, cut it out completely for a while, if you can! Change is sometimes a good thing!

I hope life gets better for you, I really do. "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"

[melilley]

First, congratulations on the pregnancy! Sorry about what's happening with the person that's close to you. My long time friend (we called each other cousins) committed suicide almost 4 years ago so I know how it feels.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and a lot of the time I feel the same way as you. I know a lot of it is the hormones, for me they wreak havoc when I am pregnant, that's probably a lot of what's going on with you.
I'm not a big fan of the kids watching tv, but when I get too stressed, I do turn it on for a little bit. Also, it's been freezing here too, but we finally got outside today for about 15-20 minutes and I feel that helped a lot.

Can you replace some of the kids that aren't the right fit (as I call it)? I found that when a certain child was here, my stress level was sky high. He finally calmed down almost after 2 years, but boy did it make a difference when he wasn't here! He went to p/t and that has made a big difference too.
I actually make more with 2 p/t kids than I do with 1 f/t, plus I get a little break on some of the days. Maybe you could do that?

I hope you find something that destresses you! I still have money on the fact that your hormones are playing a big part on your moods and also the stress of what you are going through with your loved one. :hug:

[permanentvacation]

Another thing is that you need to find things that you find relaxing and do those things more often. I like to do online jigsaw puzzles. I can do them in the daycare room while still being able to monitor the kids during free play.

[Unregistered]

Thank you all so much. I had a much better afternoon I feel like as soon as I get worked up so do they. Hoping for a nice calm day tomorrow.

[permanentvacation]

Glad today was better.

[grateday]

I love everything you said to this provider

Your first priority is the safety of the baby you are carrying. Being under too much stress is harmful to your baby. I understand that you want to do a 'good job' with your daycare, but you might be doing more than you really need to do to/with/and for your daycare that is causing you unnecessary stress.

Many home daycares around my area don't do anything with their children other than have toys for them to play with and turn the television on to the cartoons.

If you are doing a lot of activities with the children, maybe you can cut back and offer a more 'play based' learning environment.

If you cook for the children, maybe you can start having the parents provide their meals.

If I were you, I would really evaluate myself for the next couple of days and see what throughout my day actually causes me more stress and what things I am doing that I don't really have to do and then make changes, stop doing the things that cause me stress.

Often in daycare, regarding the children acting up, causing chaos, not listening, often, that is all caused by one child who gets the whole group wound up. I would start paying close attention to my daycare kids and see if there's 'one bad apple' that you might need to terminate which would then leave you with a calm, well-behaved group.

Also, pay attention to your evening and weekend life style. Are you doing more than you need to then? Are you getting stressed by things in your personal life in the evenings and weekends? If so, see if you can make changes to your personal habits and routines.

You said that jobs are hard to find in your area. But, do you think you would be less stressed going out to work in a non-child care setting? If so, you could start putting applications in different places while still doing home daycare in hopes of getting a calmer, less stressful job soon.

With your daycare kids, instead of you doing everything for the little ones, you can have kids as young as 2 1/2 help you a bit. Get the kids to do more for themselves rather than you doing everything for them. Put a trash can in their area, feed them on paper plates with plastic ware and have them throw away their plates and plastic ware after they eat. Tell the older ones to go get you a diaper and the wipes that you need to change the younger ones diapers. Get the older ones to help the little ones clean up. You might have to rearrange your daycare to make it easier for the kids to do more for themselves.

Have the older ones, ages 3 and up, 'read' some books to the other children. The 3 year olds love 'reading' and telling stories that they make up from looking at the pictures in books.

[NeedaVaca]

I would probably make a list of all the things that are stressing me out and then find ways to make each one of them easier, sometimes seeing it on paper helps.

Make sure you are eating properly! Diet is very important and even more so since you are pregnant (congrats!). Fresh air, exercise (yoga maybe?), plenty of water and eat healthy