Parents Enacting Revenge after Termination

[lovemykidstoo]

I'm really sorry, but I have to agree with BC.

My question is, and I hope you answer, is if you were doing nothing wrong at all, why would the state say that you can never take infants again? I'm not trying to be nasty, but that is a sincere question.

[KiddieCahoots]

Even though I understand and agree with a lot of what BC said.......

I'm blowing the whistle for unnecessary roughness.....

5 yard penalty! ::............

[Blackcat31]

Even though I understand and agree with a lot of what BC said.......

I'm blowing the whistle for unnecessary roughness.....

5 yard penalty! ::............

You thought my post was harsh?

[KiddieCahoots]

It could've been taken that way

I have trouble putting thoughts in writing, especially if I'm in the heat of the moment. In those times when I am looking for support, as knowledgeable as people here are, I hear it better when it comes on gentler tides

[Blackcat31]

It could've been taken that way

I meant it that way.

I have trouble putting thoughts in writing, especially if I'm in the heat of the moment. In those times when I am looking for support, as knowledgeable as people here are, I hear it better when it comes on gentler tides

Totally understand AND agree buuuut in this case it does not appear the poster is looking for support.

She is looking for ways to enact revenge on someone for something the provider had the power to control/change etc.

That is neither something I will support or help with.

...and as mentioned, leaves me concerned about the providers mental state of mind.

[TheGoodLife]

I agree with BC- she is talking about the DCM "enacting revenge" then goes on to say she wants to do the same (get revenge) on the mom: "get back" at the mom, and "find a way to screw up her life and make her look like she cant work in her job."

All DCM is doing at this point is asking for a tax statement, which if she provides a W10 is the legal and correct way to go about it. Anger should be set aside from almost a year ago, and professionalism should override those negative feelings. I may have thoughts of "revenge" in the heat of a moment, but to actually consider and ask for ways to go about doing so, 11 months after the fact... sounds very worrisome! OP, I hope you can find a way to let go of all the anger and move past it; for your sake, and those around you! :hug:

[lovemykidstoo]

Parent termed in February 2014. Parent evaluated me negatively to licensor and now I am pissed because it all came up after drop in inspection which occurred during quiet time. 3 children were just exhausted because they needed me but I was tied up with licensor.

Now that parent is asking for tax form and all I can think about is how can I get back at her for dozing and dropping causing my high risk child to later get what was knowingly brought in how can I get back at her for all the hours of lost care from all the other children who got ill.... She has the nerve to write a letter with an erroneous claim that I should not be caring for children because of a medical condition my child has and the care it requires takes away from other children supervision she even includes a story of a time she witnessed his condition at drop off.

I run a small childcare so I can appropriately balance cares and transitions. I was so angry I gave the licensor an earful about how much care a sick child requires. How I lost income how I nearly had to to hospitalize my son because of her and how she argued every time I had to close because of illness. So then because of this stupid woman I know have to never take an infant and I have an emergency plan so it makes dhs look good.

DHS really needs to protect us from these idiots coming into our homes. I really wish I could just find a way to screw up her life and make her look like she cant work in her job. We don't get the respect we deserve from parents or licensors at times.

I am still very curious about this statement.

[grateday]

sorry for the confusion I am bad at this sometimes

I wrote that post extremely exhausted and tired at night, don't know how I worded it to say that but here is why I don't seek revenge:

It hurts more than the person you intend it to.........
Was I furious? Yes
Did I calm down...Yes
Was I seeking revenge ideas.....No

BC please delete this post to avoid further confusion. I sent a pm explaining

My mental state is .......Logical and Healthy....
Do I enforce my policies....99 percent of the time.sometimes breaking the bringing snacks to daycare one.....

I should not have blamed parent, I should have termed her sooner for questioning me so much, and I should have realized she would attempt it. It was my first go with someone like that. Yes she is entitled to her opinion. But to go to that extent as a parent is kind of harsh.
I plan on giving her statement and not making her go through hoops.

I need a big hapiness boost after all that though

[KiddieCahoots]

Totally understand AND agree buuuut in this case it does not appear the poster is looking for support.

She is looking for ways to enact revenge on someone for something the provider had the power to control/change etc.

That is neither something I will support or help with.

...and as mentioned, leaves me concerned about the providers mental state of mind.

Yea...your right, the revenge part is worrisome.

I guess I can't help but feel sorry for op because a dcp felt the need to post a complaint with licensing in regards to something so simple as dosing and dropping issues, instead of working it out with her first.

Wish we were more protected against false accusations, so that the real accusations were appropriately taken care of.

[grateday]

reply

I'm really sorry, but I have to agree with BC.

My question is, and I hope you answer, is if you were doing nothing wrong at all, why would the state say that you can never take infants again? I'm not trying to be nasty, but that is a sincere question.

The state did not say that, and I am sorry if I came across that way, I over reacted. Sometimes when I am tired or angry things may come across wrong. No the state never said that.

I think the state is saying that I should be careful because of the amount of care my child requires and the acuity of care an infant requires, and balancing that is all. If you have a kid in care who is lets say special medical needs and something happens, how are you going to balance the medical need and your requirement as a provider to provide safe infant care- ie. checking every 15 min. when sleeping, making sure they are safe, etc. and then have other kiddos too? How are you going to properly supervise, valid points. But no they never said I could not, just consider that is all.

Just frustrated when I wrote that because it is a bruise to the quality care you thought you were providing as a provider. The other part was pure emotion.

[NightOwl]

Op, I can sympathize. I think everybody has had this thought, if only for a split second before regaining their composure, after they've been severely wronged by a client. You're human, not mentally ill.