Parents Enacting Revenge after Termination

[grateday]

Parent termed in February 2014. Parent evaluated me negatively to licensor and now I am pissed because it all came up after drop in inspection which occurred during quiet time. 3 children were just exhausted because they needed me but I was tied up with licensor.

Now that parent is asking for tax form and all I can think about is how can I get back at her for dozing and dropping causing my high risk child to later get what was knowingly brought in how can I get back at her for all the hours of lost care from all the other children who got ill.... She has the nerve to write a letter with an erroneous claim that I should not be caring for children because of a medical condition my child has and the care it requires takes away from other children supervision she even includes a story of a time she witnessed his condition at drop off.

I run a small childcare so I can appropriately balance cares and transitions. I was so angry I gave the licensor an earful about how much care a sick child requires. How I lost income how I nearly had to to hospitalize my son because of her and how she argued every time I had to close because of illness. So then because of this stupid woman I know have to never take an infant and I have an emergency plan so it makes dhs look good.

DHS really needs to protect us from these idiots coming into our homes. I really wish I could just find a way to screw up her life and make her look like she cant work in her job. We don't get the respect we deserve from parents or licensors at times.

[Play Care]

Please just send this parent the tax paper, if required. Send it certified/return receipt so you know she has received it.
I understand you are angry, but behave like a professional and hold your head high.

[KidGrind]

Parent termed in February 2014. Parent evaluated me negatively to licensor and now I am pissed because it all came up after drop in inspection which occurred during quiet time. 3 children were just exhausted because they needed me but I was tied up with licensor.

Now that parent is asking for tax form and all I can think about is how can I get back at her for dozing and dropping causing my high risk child to later get what was knowingly brought in how can I get back at her for all the hours of lost care from all the other children who got ill.... She has the nerve to write a letter with an erroneous claim that I should not be caring for children because of a medical condition my child has and the care it requires takes away from other children supervision she even includes a story of a time she witnessed his condition at drop off.

I run a small childcare so I can appropriately balance cares and transitions. I was so angry I gave the licensor an earful about how much care a sick child requires. How I lost income how I nearly had to to hospitalize my son because of her and how she argued every time I had to close because of illness. So then because of this stupid woman I know have to never take an infant and I have an emergency plan so it makes dhs look good.

DHS really needs to protect us from these idiots coming into our homes. I really wish I could just find a way to screw up her life and make her look like she cant work in her job. We don't get the respect we deserve from parents or licensors at times.

Revenge is a waste of time.

Now, I wouldn’t give her any information until she provides you with a W-10. I wouldn’t tell her what she needed to do.

[NoMoreJuice!]

You are not obligated to provide a year end receipt. She should have kept records of her payments just as you did. If she gives you a W-10, you have to fill out your tax info, but that is all.

Please read this:

http://www.tomcopelandblog.com/2011/01/the-truth-about-end-of-year-parent-receipts.html

Also, the best revenge is success. I recently termed a parent and she reported false claims to the state. We got that all cleared up in one visit, and the surveyors gave me high praise for the way I was operating my daycare and how well the children were cared for. That was my revenge! I will carry on and be surrounded by families and children that love me and appreciate the care I give them. That is my continuing revenge every day!

[midaycare]

Revenge is a waste of time.

Now, I wouldn’t give her any information until she provides you with a W-10. I wouldn’t tell her what she needed to do.

[hope]

No point in getting revenge. I look at it like this....I may struggle because I do things by the book while others take short cuts, I may be tired because I work hard and help others while there are selfish and lazy people out there. But I am happy and surround myself with happy and loving people. These people that take advantage of others or wrong others or are selfish dont know what happiness is. That is sad. They are punishing themselves. I dont need to add to their misery.

[CraftyMom]

You don't HAVE to give her anything unless she supplies you with a w-10. However, you might want to give it to her just to be done.

Is she just now doing all those things? Or was that all back in Feb 2014?

[Play Care]

You don't HAVE to give her anything unless she supplies you with a w-10. However, you might want to give it to her just to be done.

Is she just now doing all those things? Or was that all back in Feb 2014?

My response was based on the fact she has already had the state in. Rather than having "unfounded" allegations the OP is no longer allowed to care for infants and had to write up an emergency plan...she's already on the radar... So while legally she can ignore the request until the parent does what they need to do, it might wind up in another visit from the state. Is it worth it? I can't answer that question.

[permanentvacation]

I would ask a good accountant if I am required by law to give her the information she is requesting. You said she left your daycare in February. There's no reason she can't just add up how much she paid you for January and February.

I never give my parents end of the year totals. I give them a hand written receipt when they pay me; weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, whichever they choose to pay me. I tell them verbally, and it's in my contract that it's their responsibility to keep track of their receipts and calculate the total amount they paid me throughout the year for their taxes.

I feel bad that she caused so much trouble and personal worry for your business and your family. I fully agree with you that we daycare providers get a raw deal when parents complain or when our own inspector says negative things about our daycare. I've had inspectors that KNEW the parent was making things up, but had to write the report and put it online so the whole world can see that I had a complaint against me.

There is a law about defamation of character that we could try to use. But the kicker is us being able to prove that the person's accusations against us are false.

I just recalled one thing I saw on the news where an inspector literally unplugging a radio and making the cord hang over into a baby's crib in a daycare center so she could write up a negative report about the center. Luckily, the center used cameras and when they reviewed their security cameras, they caught the inspector doing that. Without those cameras, the inspector would have gotten away with writing up all sorts of negative things about the center.

[KiddieCahoots]

My response was based on the fact she has already had the state in. Rather than having "unfounded" allegations the OP is no longer allowed to care for infants and had to write up an emergency plan...she's already on the radar... So while legally she can ignore the request until the parent does what they need to do, it might wind up in another visit from the state. Is it worth it? I can't answer that question.

...agree.
I don't doubt Tom Copeland's information.
However, yrs ago I had a client leave abruptly due to personal matters. At tax time, instead of contacting me for the tax information, they contacted licensing. My licensor at the time was awesome, and advised me to give them what they wanted, just because it was easier, and would not encourage retaliation on their part.
I know it stinks.....but sometimes we need to **** it up and be the bigger person

[AmyKidsCo]

Please just send this parent the tax paper, if required. Send it certified/return receipt so you know she has received it.
I understand you are angry, but behave like a professional and hold your head high.

ITA, just send her the info. I know we don't have to, but IMO it's more professional, and it's always better to take the high road. Eventually she'll get hers - what goes around comes around.

[Shell]

ITA, just send her the info. I know we don't have to, but IMO it's more professional, and it's always better to take the high road. Eventually she'll get hers - what goes around comes around.

[Blackcat31]

Parent termed in February 2014. Parent evaluated me negatively to licensor and now I am pissed because it all came up after drop in inspection which occurred during quiet time. 3 children were just exhausted because they needed me but I was tied up with licensor.

Now that parent is asking for tax form and all I can think about is how can I get back at her for dozing and dropping causing my high risk child to later get what was knowingly brought in how can I get back at her for all the hours of lost care from all the other children who got ill.... She has the nerve to write a letter with an erroneous claim that I should not be caring for children because of a medical condition my child has and the care it requires takes away from other children supervision she even includes a story of a time she witnessed his condition at drop off.

I run a small childcare so I can appropriately balance cares and transitions. I was so angry I gave the licensor an earful about how much care a sick child requires. How I lost income how I nearly had to to hospitalize my son because of her and how she argued every time I had to close because of illness. So then because of this stupid woman I know have to never take an infant and I have an emergency plan so it makes dhs look good.

DHS really needs to protect us from these idiots coming into our homes. I really wish I could just find a way to screw up her life and make her look like she cant work in her job. We don't get the respect we deserve from parents or licensors at times.

Normally I would apologize for sounding rude or harsh but I am refraining from apologizing as this kind of post really pisses me off.

Why is it the parents fault that YOU received a bad visit with your licensor?
Even if the parent told the licensor all sorts of untrue things, it should not have made any difference if you were doing everything right.

Also, as far as HER child getting your child sick...that is a risk YOU take when you open your home to other families. It is YOUR obligation to keep your child safe and enforce your policies at ALL times. Especially if you have a medically fragile child in your home.

That parents OPINION that you should not be caring for other children because of your child's medical condition is her OPINION and her right to have.

It also carries some weight in my opinion since you seem to want to blame your loss of wages and loss of time being in the hospital with your child on this family when it IS because your child is medically fragile.

I am sorry that your child has certain medial needs and in NO WAY am I minimizing that but I fail to see why you can use that as an excuse to be upset/mad at this parent but the parent can't use it as a factor in her opinion of your services.

The fact that you are so angry that you seriously want to get some sort of revenge on a client for this alarms me and has me questioning your ability to be a non partial provider and provide services to families without needing to retaliate if things don't go smoothly.

In my opinion, I think it might be time for you to take a step back and re-evaluate your program and your emotional and mental state of mind.

Being this angry towards someone is neither healthy nor professional and if a situation like this causes you to be so infuriated, I think you might just need to take some time off and spend it with your child. Take a breather and go over the situation from beginning to end and find where you can improve and learn for future situations that maybe similar.

We all play a role in everything that happens to us in life and it DOES take more than one participant for a situation to go from good to bad so you do bear some responsibility in this. Learn what you can do differently next time and try to curb the anger... revenge is never worth it.

It will only ruin your reputation (faster than a complaining client ever will) and will ultimately cause you to lose more than just that client.

Please tread carefully with this situation.

Hopefully this thread was merely posted in the heat of the moment and your true feelings/actions are not reflected in what was written.

[Play Care]

Normally I would apologize for sounding rude or harsh but I am refraining from apologizing as this kind of post really pisses me off.

Why is it the parents fault that YOU received a bad visit with your licensor?
Even if the parent told the licensor all sorts of untrue things, it should not have made any difference if you were doing everything right.

Also, as far as HER child getting your child sick...that is a risk YOU take when you open your home to other families. It is YOUR obligation to keep your child safe and enforce your policies at ALL times. Especially if you have a medically fragile child in your home.

That parents OPINION that you should not be caring for other children because of your child's medical condition is her OPINION and her right to have.

It also carries some weight in my opinion since you seem to want to blame your loss of wages and loss of time being in the hospital with your child on this family when it IS because your child is medically fragile.

I am sorry that your child has certain medial needs and in NO WAY am I minimizing that but I fail to see why you can use that as an excuse to be upset/mad at this parent but the parent can't use it as a factor in her opinion of your services.

The fact that you are so angry that you seriously want to get some sort of revenge on a client for this alarms me and has me questioning your ability to be a non partial provider and provide services to families without needing to retaliate if things don't go smoothly.

In my opinion, I think it might be time for you to take a step back and re-evaluate your program and your emotional and mental state of mind.

Being this angry towards someone is neither healthy nor professional and if a situation like this causes you to be so infuriated, I think you might just need to take some time off and spend it with your child. Take a breather and go over the situation from beginning to end and find where you can improve and learn for future situations that maybe similar.

We all play a role in everything that happens to us in life and it DOES take more than one participant for a situation to go from good to bad so you do bear some responsibility in this. Learn what you can do differently next time and try to curb the anger... revenge is never worth it.

It will only ruin your reputation (faster than a complaining client ever will) and will ultimately cause you to lose more than just that client.

Please tread carefully with this situation.

Hopefully this thread was merely posted in the heat of the moment and your true feelings/actions are not reflected in what was written.

[Givingthemgrace]

Please do not seek revenge. It will absolutely tarnish your name. If you are christian-remember we are to return GOOD for evil. If she dropped off a sick kid, it was your responsibility to turn her away. It's on both of you. I'm sorry you had to deal with a bad inspection, I would just try to put it behind me. You can prove yourself, you can provide great care even with a special needs child.