Baby Goes to Daycare Before Mat Leave Is Over?

[Unregistered]

I see nothing wrong with what she's done. I was with my child all of my 6 weeks maternity leave and not even a few days after leaving my son to return to work I was rushed to the hospital from my job because I had a very bad anxiety attack that caused me to have convulsions. All because I left my son that morning. he was left with my aunt. She is my best friend, has 3 children of her own, has even raised me and my siblings and all of my cousins. And yet I was still a wreck leaving him even though I trusted her. I only worked 2 months and opened my own daycare to be with him.
If I had it to do over, I may have started leaving him a week before I went back to work. In order to help myself get used to being without him. Leaving your child is not easy even for a "me time" mommy as some of the no it alls put it.

[hope]

I see nothing wrong with what she's done. I was with my child all of my 6 weeks maternity leave and not even a few days after leaving my son to return to work I was rushed to the hospital from my job because I had a very bad anxiety attack that caused me to have convulsions. All because I left my son that morning. he was left with my aunt. She is my best friend, has 3 children of her own, has even raised me and my siblings and all of my cousins. And yet I was still a wreck leaving him even though I trusted her. I only worked 2 months and opened my own daycare to be with him.
If I had it to do over, I may have started leaving him a week before I went back to work. In order to help myself get used to being without him. Leaving your child is not easy even for a "me time" mommy as some of the no it alls put it.

We are all here discussing a topic with the goal of understanding other's view point. Name calling is uncalled for. Wish there were a time out for adults.

[Rachel]

Because we do easing in, usually the parents start daycare before they go back to work. Often I get kids who come only for a few hours in the morning so they are used to me and I am used to them before mom is at work and we just need to figure it out. Also I have one friend who always takes extended leave (6 months) but she starts her baby part time at 4/5 months (paying for a full time spot) because her kids have bad immune systems and she knows the first few months the baby will be home a lot and she would rather be over that hurdle before she goes back to work. She doesnt' leave the baby a full day though, just the morning, bottle, sleep, play a bit and home.

[Unregistered]

Shun their baby? Really?
My son is 3. He goes to a center while I work. He is there for the least amount of time possible. He is my child.
Sunday I dropped him off at his grandpas so hubby and I could go to a movie. I dropped him off one day last month with an uncle so I could sleep off a horrible flu. Does that make me a me time parent? How about the fact that I'm leaving my son for a week next month while I go to mexico with girlfriends?
Its so hard to be a mother and other moms are so quick to judge. If you don't know someone's story, back off. And if you do....still back off cause its really not your business.

[Leigh]

Thinking back, I remember all the things I had to do when my LO was a newborn. Of course, I had only 3 days notice of his arrival, but still, there is SO much organizing and shopping that I had to do. So much rearranging to make room for him, so many appointments to make (he had weekly appointments 100 miles away).

I imagine that this mom also has a ton of things to do at home, and if she's a first-time mom, I'm sure that she can't even imagine doing these things while her baby is home (I couldn't sleep when he did, I had to watch him sleep. I actually slept with my hand in his bassinet for about 2 weeks!). Just catching up on laundry, making a meal, taking a nap-I'm sure that this mom has plenty to get done before she goes back to work. I wouldn't think bad things about her for taking a week to get things done-it's scary having your first child, it's stressful, and it's a busy time.

[Controlled Chaos]

Shun their baby? Really?
My son is 3. He goes to a center while I work. He is there for the least amount of time possible. He is my child.
Sunday I dropped him off at his grandpas so hubby and I could go to a movie. I dropped him off one day last month with an uncle so I could sleep off a horrible flu. Does that make me a me time parent? How about the fact that I'm leaving my son for a week next month while I go to mexico with girlfriends?
Its so hard to be a mother and other moms are so quick to judge. If you don't know someone's story, back off. And if you do....still back off cause its really not your business.

I wish DH would take me to a movie. He says they aren't good dates because we can't talk. I talk to him ALLLLL the time. I want to see a movie ::

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

What an interesting debate my surprised comment ensued. I was merely stating my surprise that the new DCF was choosing to begin FULL TIME (not a little bit here and there, mind you, but all day and all week) care for their itty-bitty guy. I will take it as a another statement as to how great of a provider I am, and leave it at that.

One parting note, though. It is an obvious reality of the world we now live in, full of children that were raised to have high self-esteem, and are now parents themselves. High self-esteem does not showcases itself in all the admirable character traits. It is these DCMs and DCDs lacking qualities like selflessness, self-discipline, respect for others, and humility that keep this forum alive.

Thanks for the chat. Over and out.

[nannyde]

Shun their baby? Really?
My son is 3. He goes to a center while I work. He is there for the least amount of time possible. He is my child.
Sunday I dropped him off at his grandpas so hubby and I could go to a movie. I dropped him off one day last month with an uncle so I could sleep off a horrible flu. Does that make me a me time parent? How about the fact that I'm leaving my son for a week next month while I go to mexico with girlfriends?
Its so hard to be a mother and other moms are so quick to judge. If you don't know someone's story, back off. And if you do....still back off cause its really not your business.

Did you give up 12.5 % of your precious newborn maternity leave so you could have a week off WITHOUT your newborn before going back to work?

It's not that hard to be a mother. It's work... yes but it's not hard to care for one baby when you have running water, electricity, forced air heat, dishwasher, washer, dryer, automobile, food you don't have to raise, meat you don't have to raise, wood to chop, clothing you don't have to sew, medical care that doesn't take six month of your yearly income....

You're version of "hard" would have been hysterical to your foremothers.

We need to STOP saying this is hard and start having some appreciation for how VERY VERY good we have it now as mothers. We need to see to it that our BABIES are the beneficiaries of how easy we have it instead of ourselves. The sheer amount of time and lack of wear and tear on our bodies we enjoy now because of the hard work our predecessors did for us should net more time with our children and an appreciation for how fortunate we are to live and parent when we do.

I said "shun" and I meant it. Your examples aren't shunning. I am sure your son would rather travel with his mother than live his normal same ole same ole life while you vacation but your other examples don't rise to the level of child shunning we see every day in this business.

[Unregistered]

My son does travel with me. We do family vacations every six months to various locations. But thank you for
Stepping up on your soap box there. I find motherhood hard. Its beautiful. A blessing. And the most incredible thing. But its hard. And I stand by that. If you think it's easy, good for you. I'm genuinely happy for you.
Anyways. Mothers need to stop judging other mother's is the only point I want to make.

[Unregistered]

Also just adding.....no. Im in Canada. I got an entire year off with my son. I spent every single day with him.
But I'd never judge anyone for doing it differently

[nannyde]

Also just adding.....no. Im in Canada. I got an entire year off with my son. I spent every single day with him.
But I'd never judge anyone for doing it differently

So could you imagine only getting eight weeks and sending him to daycare at the seventh week so you can have a week off before going to work?

[Unregistered]

Oh heck no. I would not. But if someone else does then that is their choice. That is the choice they made for their family.
"Not my circus, not my monkeys"

[nannyde]

My son does travel with me. We do family vacations every six months to various locations. But thank you for
Stepping up on your soap box there. I find motherhood hard. Its beautiful. A blessing. And the most incredible thing. But its hard. And I stand by that. If you think it's easy, good for you. I'm genuinely happy for you.
Anyways. Mothers need to stop judging other mother's is the only point I want to make.

How is it hard? Do you have to chop wood to heat the house so he doesn't freeze? Do you have to keep a wood stove going so you can boil water so you can bathe him and clean his dishes properly? You have to keep him safely away from that fire every second he's up and moving around?

You have to supervise him while you are bent over in the garden raising the vegetables he needs? You have to keep him occupied while you milk the cow for his milk?


Seriously... how do you figure it's so hard to parent him?

We need to GET real and stop making this out to be so HARD that we need a break after having a few weeks of first time newborn care while we are supported on every avenue that we truly need to care for a baby.

[Unregistered]

I say it's hard. You say its not. That's OK. Difference of opinions. Different lives, different skills, different thoughts and theories.
I don't feel the need to justify my feelings.

[Unregistered]

Did you give up 12.5 % of your precious newborn maternity leave so you could have a week off WITHOUT your newborn before going back to work?

It's not that hard to be a mother. It's work... yes but it's not hard to care for one baby when you have running water, electricity, forced air heat, dishwasher, washer, dryer, automobile, food you don't have to raise, meat you don't have to raise, wood to chop, clothing you don't have to sew, medical care that doesn't take six month of your yearly income....

You're version of "hard" would have been hysterical to your foremothers.

We need to STOP saying this is hard and start having some appreciation for how VERY VERY good we have it now as mothers. We need to see to it that our BABIES are the beneficiaries of how easy we have it instead of ourselves. The sheer amount of time and lack of wear and tear on our bodies we enjoy now because of the hard work our predecessors did for us should net more time with our children and an appreciation for how fortunate we are to live and parent when we do.

I said "shun" and I meant it. Your examples aren't shunning. I am sure your son would rather travel with his mother than live his normal same ole same ole life while you vacation but your other examples don't rise to the level of child shunning we see every day in this business.

I agree with you 100%