I Am So Mad Right Now!!!

[Former Teacher]

Ok, last day of the week this week because I am taking tomorrow off. We wake up to freezing rain, and an inch of ice on the ground. No travel advised. No sanding being done yet. Reports of multiple accidents on the hill that goes to my house. I report all of this to my daycare families and they ALL show up anyways!!! One ended up in the ditch at the bottom of the hill unable to get out IN A TRUCK!!! They had to call a tow truck to get them out!!! It is supposed to snow soon, on top of the ice!! Then I find out, THEY ARE GOING HOME!!! To bake!!!! Are you flipping kidding me! I charge $19 a day!!! Is it really worth risking your life and the lives of your children to come out on a day like this?! OMG! REALLY?!?!?!?

Like everyone else, I am not surprised. I remember one year we had massive flooding and we closed the center. One of the parents deducted a days rate from her weekly check because we closed for the day. When we asked why, she said because it was not her fault the weather was bad. Um ok. We asked her if she was able to get to work. She laughed, of course not, her road was closed. That was when we changed our policies and made them more clear.

[Former Teacher]

I had to get a girl up today from her nap early, because mom said she would be here at 1:30 to pick up...its an hour later and she still isnt here..this dcg has been waiting for an hour and was so excited her mommy was picking up early....Its so sad. Makes me sick. Im about to call her and go off. I moved my christmas party up a day because she was supposed to be leaving today at 12:00 - then it turned into 1:30 and now its who the hell knows when..

( Her mom is off today - at home baking )

Number 1 rule in daycare. NEVER trust a parent.

Once there was a girl (10 years old so yes old enough to know). Mother would work and then go home for a few hours. Girl knew this but never complained. The earliest this child was picked up was 6:15 p.m., and that's early.

One day mom said that she had the day off (?????) but she would be picking her up at 2:00 p.m. to go shopping. All day this girl was SO excited about going shopping with her mom. She didn't want to eat lunch because her mom said they would go and eat. Thank God I made her eat something.

Mom strolled in at 5:30 like it was nothing. The girl was watching t.v. and looked at the doorway, then the clock, and then her mother, and finally the t.v. I felt so bad for her I wanted to cry. I said, V, your moms here. She said yeah I know. She got up slowly and walked right past her mother.

One of the very few times when a parent smiled at me that I didn't smile back. I went about my business.

[DanceMom]

Number 1 rule in daycare. NEVER trust a parent.

Once there was a girl (10 years old so yes old enough to know). Mother would work and then go home for a few hours. Girl knew this but never complained. The earliest this child was picked up was 6:15 p.m., and that's early.

One day mom said that she had the day off (?????) but she would be picking her up at 2:00 p.m. to go shopping. All day this girl was SO excited about going shopping with her mom. She didn't want to eat lunch because her mom said they would go and eat. Thank God I made her eat something.

Mom strolled in at 5:30 like it was nothing. The girl was watching t.v. and looked at the doorway, then the clock, and then her mother, and finally the t.v. I felt so bad for her I wanted to cry. I said, V, your moms here. She said yeah I know. She got up slowly and walked right past her mother.

One of the very few times when a parent smiled at me that I didn't smile back. I went about my business.

Im learning not to. She just called and said she was stuck in traffic for the past 1/2 hour ( which is a lie because she has an excuse and blames every single time she is late on "something" that she cannot control ) - she is still about an hour away.


I moved my Christmas party up a day because she WAS supposed to be picked up at 12 today, then it was 1:30 and probably by the time she gets here it will be regular time. I was not pleasant on the phone at all ! She knows Im pissed.

(Sorry hijaking thread..)

[nannyde]

I will never keep up or get up a kid based on what the parent says is an early pick up time. When the parents tell me they are picking up early it goes in one ear and out the other. My response is: text me when you are five minutes away and POOF out of my brain it goes.

There's a few circumstances that increase your liklihood: specialty doctor appointments BUT find out WHEN the appointment is. Parents will say they will pick up at two thirty for a three apointment but it usually is ten minutes to three when they show up.

If they are driving out of town and they want the kids to sleep during the first part of the ride. Even with this I will not keep a kid up even for five minutes. If they aren't here at nap time the kid goes to bed and I don't keep them up or get them up until I get the five minute heads up from the parent.

If they have an appointment that will make them money like a WIC appointment they will come early but again find out the TIME of the appointment.

If the point of the pick up is to "spend time" with the child you have a very low liklihood it will happen. When they tell you they will come early find out why and then carry on as usual.

[QualiTcare]

it's been said/debated a million times - it doesn't matter what the parent is doing. they are paying for a provider to keep their child - period. i personally think it all boils down to jealousy.

it would be like someone who works at a bank being upset because a stay at home mom got their mother (the grandparent) to babysit. "oh my gosh, why is she doing that? she doesn't even work! doesn't she know she's losing precious time?!"

it's just weird and usually where's there's disapproval, there's envy on some level.

[jen]

it's been said/debated a million times - it doesn't matter what the parent is doing. they are paying for a provider to keep their child - period. i personally think it all boils down to jealousy.

it would be like someone who works at a bank being upset because a stay at home mom got their mother (the grandparent) to babysit. "oh my gosh, why is she doing that? she doesn't even work! doesn't she know she's losing precious time?!"

it's just weird and usually where's there's disapproval, there's envy on some level.

Actually, it does bug me a little when parents who leave their kids in daycare for 50+ hours a week rountinely have grandma and grandpa taking them for the weekend. Not because I am jealous, but because I feel sorry for their kids...and for the parents, they are missing out BIG time!

I think it all depends on what kind of parent you are personally. I took off Tuesday through Friday this week. I offered my kids the opportunity to skip school on Wednesday (as long as they didn't have missing assignments or grades below a b) so that they could stay home and spend some time with me sans the daycare crew. My oldest took me up on it, after he finished morning bball practice and took an english test, the younger two didn't want to miss their parties at school. I LOVE spending time with my kids. It makes me sad for the kids and the parents when they don't have that same feeling. I know it may not be fair of me, it's just how I feel about it.

I don't take it to the place where I refuse to do it, I just don't feel good about those individuals as parents.

[momofboys]

it's been said/debated a million times - it doesn't matter what the parent is doing. they are paying for a provider to keep their child - period. i personally think it all boils down to jealousy.

it would be like someone who works at a bank being upset because a stay at home mom got their mother (the grandparent) to babysit. "oh my gosh, why is she doing that? she doesn't even work! doesn't she know she's losing precious time?!"

it's just weird and usually where's there's disapproval, there's envy on some level.

I don't think it has squat to do with jealousy. In most cases it is b/c the provider feels like they are being taken advantage of PERIOD or b/c they feel sorry for the kids! Really I would not want to WOH, so no jealousy for me. I want to be with my kids. I did that before kids (WOH) & can't imagien doing it again until my kids are all in school. I fail to see how a SAHM using her mom to babysit for an hour or two compares to someone who works outside of the home. Not quite seeing the connection. I agree with Jen, I feel bad for the kids. I provided care for a family last year & the mom always picked up as late as possible EVERY SINGLE DAY. And some days when their son had sports practices dad came early (, sports were important to him) but not important enough to pick up all 3 kids. No, they had to wait a whole extra 45 min for mom. Dad could not be inconvenienced. And no I didn't really mind them picking up at the least possible second but I felt bad for the kids being in childcare 50 hrs a week, especially b/c mom was a teacher & could have easily picked up an hour earlier most days.

[My Daycare]

I have a dcd that is off for 2 weeks and he is bringing dcg everyday. It didn't bother me, but I have not had any drastic situations of kids being in care for way too long. What suprised me was that my ds (15) found out dcd was off and his chin dropped to the floor. He said, "doesn't he like his kid!?!?"

[Former SAH Mom]

It's really becoming increasingly difficult to find parents that value TIME with their kid. I can promise you that not a single one of them had even a twitch of discontent or feeling of remorse for doing it. It's a parenting norm now.

It may be the norm but I hardly call it parenting. I really don't understand why some of these people have children.

I agree with the poster that said if the weather and conditions are dangerous to just plain close. There is a lack of common sense these days. Unbelievable!

[jen]

I just re-read your post Qual...I didn't realize you were comparing a child who spends all day with Mom or Dad and then goes to Grandma and Grandpas once in a while to a child who gets dumped at daycare 50+ hours a week every week...there really is NO comparison.

As for being jealous...I will never be jealous of anyone who chooses to spend the least amount of time possible with their kids. I think that they should be jealous of me!

I will agree with you on one thing...it's a foolish debate. People will always find a way to justify their actions no matter how poor their choices are. It will be interesting to see what happens to this generation of parents once they become elderly. Do you suppose these kids, who have been routinely neglected by their parents will think twice about dumping their parents in someone elses care and never looking back? Personally, I think not.

[countrymom]

acually, because many kids are so young, you should see what happens when they turn 10 and older. After years of being dumped off at daycare these children are angry and dispise their parents. I use to watch older children and these kids have been in daycare since they were little and many of them are blaming adhd or other behavioral issues. But what its boiling down to is that they were neglected by their parents when they were young so now they are lashing out.

[countrymom]

it's been said/debated a million times - it doesn't matter what the parent is doing. they are paying for a provider to keep their child - period. i personally think it all boils down to jealousy.

it would be like someone who works at a bank being upset because a stay at home mom got their mother (the grandparent) to babysit. "oh my gosh, why is she doing that? she doesn't even work! doesn't she know she's losing precious time?!"

it's just weird and usually where's there's disapproval, there's envy on some level.

your wrong, I DON'T CHARGE FOR SICK TIME, HOLIDAYS OR TIME OFF OR EVEN SPOTS. so if I complain its because parents don't want to spend time with their kids and would rather pay NO MATTER WHAT. Am I jealous, NO, because my biggest beef is when I need the day off I get so many complaints from parents that its ridiculous, but its ok when they need the day off. I even have the above policy for a reason, thinking that parents would want to spend time with their kids, but you know what parents don't want to spend any time with their kids, they just don't care.

[Robert]

Family Train Wreck

acually, because many kids are so young, you should see what happens when they turn 10 and older. After years of being dumped off at daycare these children are angry and dispise their parents. I use to watch older children and these kids have been in daycare since they were little and many of them are blaming adhd or other behavioral issues. But what its boiling down to is that they were neglected by their parents when they were young so now they are lashing out.

I agree, my 11 year old daughter has a friend that that said to me "my dad ****s". I said no he does not! Man, that really blew my mind. The parents have 4 girls who all take meds and are constantly running away from home. They really don't have a structured life as the parents seem overwhelmed and don't have time for their kids. They are heading for divorce. They don't have that much money but bought their kids a wii. I feel they bought the wii so the kids have something to do. It seems so wrong to me. They need to put their kids first. When their girl is here she understands that there are rules and if she wants to spend time here she must follow our rules. I think that is what she really wants at home but senses that the parents must not care enough and it shows. These kids are all going to be train wrecks if someone does not help them.