Fits While Removing Jacket/Shoes

[Baby Beluga]

I have a DCB who is 2.5. He is as sweet as pie, on track developmentally (if not ahead in some areas) but is also very coddled. Anyway, at this age I expect a child to be able to take off their jacket and shoes upon AM arrival and upon coming in from outside and place them in their cubbies.

I live in a warm environment so the most the children ever wear is a fleece zip up jacket.

This child KNOWS how to remove his shoes and jacket without trouble. We worked on it when he was younger and he has shown me every single day, twice a day that he can do this without trouble. The thing is - every time it is time to remove his shoes and jacket he throws the biggest fit. He screams and cries...the whole works. NOTHING has helped curbed this behavior. I have tried talking with him, walking him through the process step by step, nothing helps. Right now he will cry for 10-15 minutes then suddenly stop take off his shoes and jacket and be done with it.

How do I curb this? Yesterday I had the idea that if he throws a fit in the AM then he will lose his outside time. Is that cruel though? Anyone have an idea you may think will work better?

[Kimskiddos]

Here the minute he started his fit he would be in the quiet/crying spot until he calmed down and did what he was asked. I completely ignore fits.

[Baby Beluga]

Here the minute he started his fit he would be in the quiet/crying spot until he calmed down and did what he was asked. I completely ignore fits.

Sorry, I should have clarified better. When the behavior first started I thought it was out of not knowing how to take his jacket/shoes off. Mom does EVERYTHING for him. So I worked with him, walked him through the process and taught him how to do it. Now that I know he knows how to do it he does sit in the crying spot. This is where the suddenly stopping the crying and removing his jacket/shoes comes into play. A typical day is this:

Children come in from outside and take off jackets and shoes. We then do potties/diapers and wash hands. Then children work on centers while I prepare lunch. As soon as we start to come inside and children take off their shoes and jackets, this DCB starts his fit. I have him sit in our crying spot while the other children and I do potties/wash hands, etc. He will throw his fit and then suddenly stop crying, take off his jacket and shoes. He has been sitting every day for a little over 1 month now.

He is just a mess at AM drop off. Mom carries him in then sets him down. He jumps on her, stomps his feet and whines "up, up, up." She will usually give him a kiss and say goodbye. I take his hand, lead him over to the carpet and tell him to remove his shoes and jacket and then he can go to the center I have out. At this point he will sit down and start crying while "trying" to remove his shoes and jacket. Once he starts crying I send him to the crying spot, he will cry and throw his fit, stop suddenly and remove his shoes/jacket and we will continue with our day.

[Kimskiddos]

Sorry sounds like you have a stubborn one on your hands.

Maybe reward the kiddos with a sticker or something for getting their shoes off without a fit. Or have a fun activity set up ready to go. When he sees he's missing out on fun stuff maybe he'll get with the program?

[SignMeUp]

I think I'd start by having mom deal with the "coming-in" part. No reason that should be part of your day, KWIM? Jacket is removed just before he comes in, shoes just after.
I'd hope that mom would have him do it himself, but I wouldn't get involved in it more than to tell her that it would be best if she has him work on these self-help skills.

As for the part that happens on your time, my best success with 'helpless' children has been to do most of it for them, leaving them to do the end. Then little-by-little, I have them do more and more at the end of the process until they are doing it all themselves.

[daycare]

I think I'd start by having mom deal with the "coming-in" part. No reason that should be part of your day, KWIM? Jacket is removed just before he comes in, shoes just after.
I'd hope that mom would have him do it himself, but I wouldn't get involved in it more than to tell her that it would be best if she has him work on these self-help skills.

As for the part that happens on your time, my best success with 'helpless' children has been to do most of it for them, leaving them to do the end. Then little-by-little, I have them do more and more at the end of the process until they are doing it all themselves.

I would just have him go to the crying spot and when he is done he can come take off his jacket and shoes.

I would not take away his outside playtime. He need immediate redirection for this. He won't remember later what he did that caused him to lose outside play time, he's too young. Also, you want to make sure there is a relation to the consequence if you do give one.

example....dck keeps riding the bike on the grass. you tell them ride on the sidewalk. dck doesn't listen, so you tell dck since you didn't follow the rules, no more bikes. therefore dcks learns if I ride on the grass I can't ride bikes. We can try again later or tomorrow.

Curious, is mom present when all of this goes down?

[Heidi]

I would just completely ignore the behavior. No crying spot, no speeches, no long directions. Just a boring "when you're shoes and coat are put away, you can come play". Walk away.

I know it drives you bonkers, but that's his pay off; a reaction. Turn the music up in the play room and go about your business. Like Daycare said, it's a natural consequence.

When he does come in, then you could say "oh, you're done, great. I'm happy to see you are ready to come have fun!"

[preschoolteacher]

I agree with Heidi. He can stay at the front door until he stops crying and takes off his stuff. No big deal to you. (At least that's what he will think.)

[daycare]

The only reason that I would remove the child from the room, is because

1. Other parents trying to come in and drop off
2. I don't want it to upset the other kids if he is yelling and screaming, I want the environment as positive as possible.
3. no audience

If you can just walk away without asking him to move somewhere, then I would do that..........