Breast Feeding Ages

[Unregistered]

I have a problem ...maybe
I have a very new client that has a early am start
she comes and sits and breast feeds for 10-20 min ..no one else is here
then at pickup comes at pick up time and sits and breast feeds again
for 15 mins or more
the child is "2" in Feb
I asked yesterday ..how long does she plan to BF ..she stated an other year
so .....I have a plan
I will do my best to feed this child as much as possible during the day
and at pick up I will do my best to be busy and not availible to visit and have the gang busy in an other room
she is a lovely young mom and is open to ideas and learning ..which is great
and I know it is a personal choice of how long one bf .....but
I feel this one might confuse the rest of my gang and she often ( the child ) will stand on the floor while mom on couch and feed ...
and I am not sure how I feel about a 2 1/2 year old breast feeding

[Blackcat31]

I have a problem ...maybe
I have a very new client that has a early am start
she comes and sits and breast feeds for 10-20 min ..no one else is here
then at pickup comes at pick up time and sits and breast feeds again
for 15 mins or more
the child is "2" in Feb
I asked yesterday ..how long does she plan to BF ..she stated an other year
so .....I have a plan
I will do my best to feed this child as much as possible during the day
and at pick up I will do my best to be busy and not availible to visit and have the gang busy in an other room
she is a lovely young mom and is open to ideas and learning ..which is great
and I know it is a personal choice of how long one bf .....but
I feel this one might confuse the rest of my gang and she often ( the child ) will stand on the floor while mom on couch and feed ...
and I am not sure how I feel about a 2 1/2 year old breast feeding

Why does the morning feeding have to occur AT your house? Can't she nurse before dropping off?

Same with the pick up feedings? Why do they have to take place AT your house? At 2 yrs old the child can wait until they get home.

I would NOT entertain that for ANY age child when the feedings can occur BEFORE drop off and AFTER pick up. During the day is a completely different thing but those two particular times are not something I would be okay with as there really doesn't seem to be a reason for it...kwim? not at that age.

[Sugaree]

At the center my son goes to I was allowed to BF in his room in the morning, at lunch, and at pickup. Once he moved into the toddler/pre-toddler room (~16 months) I was asked to go to the nursing lounge instead of his classroom. I'm cool with that. I know that since you're a home provider that might not work for you though.

I'm one of those mothers who after making it to my initial goal of a year decided that we would keep nursing until he got ready to stop. He's 18 months old now and has been a milk monster for the last couple of weeks. Most children self-wean before their 4th birthday. I do try to limit nursing in the morning at drop-off, but will nurse at pickup in the afternoon. A lot of it is comfort nursing rather than actually being hungry or thirsty.

[NeedaVaca]

Why does the morning feeding have to occur AT your house? Can't she nurse before dropping off?

Same with the pick up feedings? Why do they have to take place AT your house? At 2 yrs old the child can wait until they get home.

I would NOT entertain that for ANY age child when the feedings can occur BEFORE drop off and AFTER pick up. During the day is a completely different thing but those two particular times are not something I would be okay with as there really doesn't seem to be a reason for it...kwim? not at that age.

[preschoolteacher]

First of all, I am very pro-breastfeeding. I nursed my son until he was 20 months old.

That being said, an older toddler does NOT and should NOT nurse during drop-offs and pick-ups at daycare. Unless it's a daycare center and there is a private nursing lounge for such things (like the previous poster mentioned). Nursing a toddler in a nursing lounge, awesome. Great.

But an older toddler likely--I'd say 99.9% of the time--is nursing for comfort during drop-offs and pick-ups rather than for nourishment. That's fine if it can be done in a private nursing lounge without turning drop-off/pick-up into a big show that disrupts the entire daycare, like I would imagine it does in a home setting. Isee this as kind of like the kid who throws a tantrum during drop-off/pick-up or refuses to take off his own shoes but is perfectly capable of doing so. It's a way to get Mom time. It's a way to delay the inevitable goodbye. I personally think that long drop-offs and pick-ups are extremely disruptive and I do everything I can to make sure they don't happen.

As a home daycare provider, I would consider offering a nursing space for a mom with a very young infant. I'm not saying I would do it, but I would consider it. The mom would have to be very respectful of what's going on the daycare and be sure that her nursing is not a distraction.

I would not provide space for a nursing toddler.

If I were you, I'd be up front with the mom and tell her that the arrangement is no longer working out for you, and that you will need her to nurse her child before/after pick ups and drop offs from now on.

[midaycare]

Dcm needs to nurse before drop off, and can go into another room (bedroom, maybe) at pickup.

[Unregistered]

thanks for the fast replies
and yes I know most of it
I myself feel it is a comfort thing ...mainly for the mom ...
she is new to day care and again a young mom ...phoned lots the first day
we talked about it yesterday ....when I asked how long
and I asked if the dg was getting any to eat from mom
she said yes
I giggled and said " now that is why she wont eat anything here "
I also found out the child does not have " a breakfast " before coming here so only milk
mom asked how long I fed my girl for I said we both weaned each other at 1 1/2 years old
and my girl and I are close I said for it can be bonding too ..so letting her feel the comfortable with me talking about this
I am going to be gentle how I go about this ..they have only been here for a short time but mom again seems open to imput
the one thing if anything about human nature I have learnt ...is it is not what you say it is how you say it

[TheGoodLife]

I'm pro BFing, but I personally would sit down and explain that it is better for the feedings to be off property. Give DCG some mommy-daughter time at home before leaving, and have a special nursing moment when they get home. Let her know that extended drop offs and pick ups just don't really work at your daycare and you fully support extended BFing but it needs to be done at home. You can put a stop to it w/o any shame or negativity especially when it sou ds like DCM is just genuinely caring for her daughter and open to communicationhappyface

[Heidi]

First of all, I am very pro-breastfeeding. I nursed my son until he was 20 months old.

That being said, an older toddler does NOT and should NOT nurse during drop-offs and pick-ups at daycare. Unless it's a daycare center and there is a private nursing lounge for such things (like the previous poster mentioned). Nursing a toddler in a nursing lounge, awesome. Great.

But an older toddler likely--I'd say 99.9% of the time--is nursing for comfort during drop-offs and pick-ups rather than for nourishment. That's fine if it can be done in a private nursing lounge without turning drop-off/pick-up into a big show that disrupts the entire daycare, like I would imagine it does in a home setting. Isee this as kind of like the kid who throws a tantrum during drop-off/pick-up or refuses to take off his own shoes but is perfectly capable of doing so. It's a way to get Mom time. It's a way to delay the inevitable goodbye. I personally think that long drop-offs and pick-ups are extremely disruptive and I do everything I can to make sure they don't happen.

As a home daycare provider, I would consider offering a nursing space for a mom with a very young infant. I'm not saying I would do it, but I would consider it. The mom would have to be very respectful of what's going on the daycare and be sure that her nursing is not a distraction.

I would not provide space for a nursing toddler.

If I were you, I'd be up front with the mom and tell her that the arrangement is no longer working out for you, and that you will need her to nurse her child before/after pick ups and drop offs from now on.

Most of my dcm's nursed for some period of time, and all were offered a place to nurse here, should they need it (when babies were new). Not ONE has ever taken me up on it. Most have at least a 15 minute ride home (up to a half hour), and yet, they all said "he/she can wait". That's with little babies. A 2 year old can certainly wait, and be nursed before arrival. Especially since she's making the OP work EARLIER just for her! Ridiculous!

[_Dana_]

I'm also pro-breastfeeding and nursed my children until they were 2.5yo. That being said, I would not provide a space for nursing a toddler. I would simply tell mom and toddler that they can nurse when they get home where they can fully relax and enjoy one another's company without the distractions of the childcare.

When I used to leave my children at child care, we established a routine that my 8yo and 4yo still do to this day. A quick hug, kiss and flashing the American Sign Language sign for "I love you" out the window as I get in the car. It's a simple routine that my children are familiar with.

It's time to start a new drop off and pick up routine with this young family.

[Ariana]

I would welcome any parent at any time to come and breastfeed their baby. Maybe I am weird but I have zero issues with it and would be very supportive and I would not care if others saw it including the kids in my care. I am really not sure what the issue is?! She is providing comfort to her child. Is it because it's a breast and how much we as a society sexualized breasts? If she gave her kid a cookie and sat and let him eat it would that be an issue?

Maybe the mom has a long commute and wants to connect before and after daycare? Maybe she doesn't have a supportive partner at home? Who knows!

[Controlled Chaos]

I would welcome any parent at any time to come and breastfeed their baby. Maybe I am weird but I have zero issues with it and would be very supportive and I would not care if others saw it including the kids in my care. I am really not sure what the issue is?! She is providing comfort to her child. Is it because it's a breast and how much we as a society sexualized breasts? If she gave her kid a cookie and sat and let him eat it would that be an issue?

Maybe the mom has a long commute and wants to connect before and after daycare? Maybe she doesn't have a supportive partner at home? Who knows!

My only issue would be if I was getting up early for a drop off that didn't need to be that early if mom nursed at home.

[Ariana]

My only issue would be if I was getting up early for a drop off that didn't need to be that early if mom nursed at home.

I see what you mean but it's 15-20 minutes. Chances are it's not actually this long. While she was BFing I'd just go do something else, you are likely going to be up anyway.

[Unregistered]

I would welcome any parent at any time to come and breastfeed their baby. Maybe I am weird but I have zero issues with it and would be very supportive and I would not care if others saw it including the kids in my care. I am really not sure what the issue is?! She is providing comfort to her child.

the parent herself is here for sometimes 20 - 40 mins after schedual pick up time and sometimes earlier at drop off , so has been here somedays totaling an hour
I do have an open door policy but not everyday which is starting to happen...mom also wants to chat
so little disruptive to day care ...though I am all for feeding the babies the child is not eating food for the 8 hours here .....
again it is a new client ...so I want to nip this in the bud the social hour a day after pay
plus I agree with the comfort though I think for both ..but if the child is in full time day care they need the independance too there is other ways to comfort ....a faster drop off and faster pick up
I am a family relaxed day care and do visit with parents and take the time to let them see me and where their children spend a lot of time but I dont want it every day ...I have many children in my care and many things to do with them

[Ariana]

So it seems the issue is the mom hanging around not the breastfeeding? If this is the case then just tell her you would appreciate faster pickups and drop offs. From your original post it sounded like you had a problem with an older child breastfeeding. If that's the case then I would try and figure out why since the World Health Organization, the AAP all recommend BFing a year and beyond. It is a perfectly acceptable way to feed a human. We are just conditioned to think milk from a cow is better.

http://kellymom.com/ages/after12mo/aap-breastfeeding-past-the-first-year/

Her child not eating has very little to do with breastfeeding. I am currently breastfeeding my 2 year old twice a day and she eats more than my 5 year old!