Have You Ever Felt Badly About a Term?

[Shell]

If you've read my other posts, you would know that this family needed to go. I expected dcm to flip out and be angry, but she took it so well that I feel horrible about it and feel like a real (b) witch. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

[NoMoreJuice!]

The only time I've ever termed was because I could not, after a whole year, put up with a disrespectful dcm. I do feel terribly guilty about losing dcg, especially when dcd mentioned afterwards that she misses her friends. A little guilt and second-guessing is just human nature I guess.

[DaveA]

Honestly- No. I don't term often, so if I do it means something isn't working and isn't likely to improve. It's almost always because of idiot DCPs. I've only termed once over DCK behavior and in that case the adults were pains, so no guilty feeling there.

[SignMeUp]

I felt bad that I couldn't 'make it' work out.
But I wouldn't have re-made the decision.

[midaycare]

I felt bad when I had to term my best (now ex) friend's son. He was SA and horrible. I knew that going in, but wanted to help her and DS loves playing with her boy. They are the same age. It ended our friendship but ... it is what it is. I tried my best.

[daycare]

i think because we truly care about these families both good and naughty ones, it's just not possible to not feel bad.

I have termed for both parental reasons and children. I always feel bad in some way. I feel bad that the child is so out of control and the parents don't realize the problems they are creating for their children. I feel bad for the kids when their parents have their heads in the sand, it's not the kid fault.

No matter why it happened I always seem to feel bad in some way, but I don't lose sleep over it....

[daycarediva]

i think because we truly care about these families both good and naughty ones, it's just not possible to not feel bad.

I have termed for both parental reasons and children. I always feel bad in some way. I feel bad that the child is so out of control and the parents don't realize the problems they are creating for their children. I feel bad for the kids when their parents have their heads in the sand, it's not the kid fault.

No matter why it happened I always seem to feel bad in some way, but I don't lose sleep over it....

This. I've termed more in the last year than ever before. I want parents who respect me/policies, and kids who are a good fit. I no longer will put myself through repeated/over the top parental rudeness and/or behavior that is over the top without improvement in a specified time frame.

I do feel bad, I don't LIKE delivering bad news. I feel bad, and then I move on knowing I did the right thing.

[KiddieCahoots]

Yup! Even for the extreme situations, where they just really had to go. I always start to second guess myself, wondering if there were something else I could've, should've, or would've done.
But.....
Seems like it passes soon enough, then hind sight kicks in, and you sigh that breath of relief.
Wait for it Shell, it'll come

[daycare]

Yup! Even for the extreme situations, where they just really had to go. I always start to second guess myself, wondering if there were something else I could've, should've, or would've done.
But.....
Seems like it passes soon enough, then hind sight kicks in, and you sigh that breath of relief.
Wait for it Shell, it'll come

so so very true...while I may have felt bad about having to term, I have never regretted my decision.

[sharlan]

Yes, I have. I have only termed 2 families in my 30 plus years.

One, I have no regrets. The other upsets me after 8 years.

I absolutely loved the mother, loved 2 of the kids, but liked the 3rd. The eldest starting making up lies. I termed with no notice - come get your kid, he's gone type of notice. I felt bad because I knew it was really a bad time for me to dump things on her, but I had to protect myself and my family.

[CraftyMom]

The first one I did not feel bad about...I only felt bad that I let him stay 3 whole days...he should have been gone the first day

Then I had 2 other mutual agreements that it wasn't a good fit. I tried in each case to work it out, longer than I should have, which made me miserable. I feel bad that I couldn't make it work because I really liked the parents in each case, but just didn't mesh with the kids.

If a situation is bad enough to term, then don't feel bad. You would be miserable if they stayed.

[Unregistered]

No. Parents leave at the drop of a hat and don't feel bad. Most of the time I've terminated, because the child either wasn't ready for daycare or had "issues". There are places for a two year old who can't talk and barely walks. It's not my home. The best is there is free services, but the parents want to pretend their child is "normal".When being here doesn't benefit the child or the child is making others have a bad time here, it's time for them to go else where. For anyone who feels bad, I was a teacher in a public school preschool for many years. Not all children belong in the same setting. When you "force" them to, it usually just ends up hurting the others. I think it's better to term too "early" then to say keep the child and they do something that scars the other children emotionally or physically.

[Shell]

Yup! Even for the extreme situations, where they just really had to go. I always start to second guess myself, wondering if there were something else I could've, should've, or would've done.
But.....
Seems like it passes soon enough, then hind sight kicks in, and you sigh that breath of relief.
Wait for it Shell, it'll come

Thanks, I needed to hear that! Thank you to everyone that responded- this is one of the tougher aspects of this job!

[Unregistered]

Yes, I have. I have only termed 2 families in my 30 plus years.

One, I have no regrets. The other upsets me after 8 years.

I absolutely loved the mother, loved 2 of the kids, but liked the 3rd. The eldest starting making up lies. I termed with no notice - come get your kid, he's gone type of notice. I felt bad because I knew it was really a bad time for me to dump things on her, but I had to protect myself and my family.

THIS! I terminated a child the day of when he claimed I called him a ret@rd. The "funny" thing is he kept saying that word and how other adults in his life call him that. My husband, a police officer, actually said he thinks he was trying to put the word in my mouth. Like reverse psychology. Children like that are evil and I have no problem saying so. I'm hyper aware ever since in my area there was a teacher arrested for "raping" two girls. It was in the papers in my town. He killed himself. A few months later, it was made public that the girls later confessed they made it up because they were bored. Hell, there are videos on Youtube about how to lie and get teachers fired made by teens. Sometimes, I think we have to be the "boom". Too many children coast by on this bad behavior and claim "I don't know" or "No one ever told me". Then, when they end up a parent at 16 or in jail at 18, no one knows why.

[grateday]

liars

Only one out of the 3 in my 3 years of providing childcare did I feel bad about but I don't regret it. Termed because mother lied and I caught mother in lie because father said something.

Because of mothers lie, my son was very ill and ended up taken to the emergency room and I had to close daycare for many days and other children would be absent the subsequent week.

**dose and drop flu**********

So angry and termed and it was one of my sons best friends. He still misses his friend and I miss his friend, but I don't miss my son nearly dead because of it!!!!!! Protect your family and protect your childcare families from people who break policies or try to fly under the radar.

A liar is a liar and does not usually stop