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  • MissAnn
    Preschool Teacher
    • Jan 2011
    • 2213

    On a scale of 1-10

    How much does it bug you when a dad carries in a 4 year old and then says in a baby voice to that child....."hugs and kissies!!!!"

    Just had to get that off my chest. happyface
  • EntropyControlSpecialist
    Embracing the chaos.
    • Mar 2012
    • 7466

    #2
    It used to bother me a lot more than it does now. It seems to be the "new thing" for little boys and little girls who are the youngest or an only child. If it is a little girl then DAD seems to carry her in and if it is a little boy then MOM seems to carry him in. I had a family JUST stop doing this a week before the child turned 5. That Mom also took off his shoes for him and would ask him to please give her his foot. Really.

    Comment

    • AuntTami
      Daycare.com Member
      • Oct 2014
      • 891

      #3
      Originally posted by MissAnn
      How much does it bug you when a dad carries in a 4 year old and then says in a baby voice to that child....."hugs and kissies!!!!"

      Just had to get that off my chest. happyface
      It doesn't because I have one kiddo who's dad lives in our town but he rarely ever sees him. The kiddo asks for dada every.single.day. I had to have DCM have DCD watch the boy last weekend as I needed to do something. DCM said she's never letting DCD watch the little one again. He was THAT much of a jerk about "babysitting" his own kid. So no, it doesn't bother me when a father actively takes a role in a child's life, regardless of their age, even if that means listening to a little bit of baby talk in the morning. At least he cares enough to want hugs and kisses. The DCD I referred to does "knuckles" with his son(who is 1.5) so he doesn't have to hug and kiss him......

      Comment

      • EntropyControlSpecialist
        Embracing the chaos.
        • Mar 2012
        • 7466

        #4
        Originally posted by AuntTami
        It doesn't because I have one kiddo who's dad lives in our town but he rarely ever sees him. The kiddo asks for dada every.single.day. I had to have DCM have DCD watch the boy last weekend as I needed to do something. DCM said she's never letting DCD watch the little one again. He was THAT much of a jerk about "babysitting" his own kid. So no, it doesn't bother me when a father actively takes a role in a child's life, regardless of their age, even if that means listening to a little bit of baby talk in the morning. At least he cares enough to want hugs and kisses. The DCD I referred to does "knuckles" with his son(who is 1.5) so he doesn't have to hug and kiss him......
        That's just sad and emotionally neglectful. Polar opposite end of the baby talk/carrying an older child in daily.

        Comment

        • AuntTami
          Daycare.com Member
          • Oct 2014
          • 891

          #5
          Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist
          That's just sad and emotionally neglectful. Polar opposite end of the baby talk/carrying an older child in daily.
          It is. It breaks my heart for this little boy. He's THE sweetest little boy. I love him like he's my own family, it's hard not to. And as I find out more and more about the dad, the more I love the little boy, because I feel terrible for him!

          It is the opposite end of the spectrum. But having him here makes me less annoyed by the "hovering" parents because at least they care. I know the dad LOVES the little one but he's just..... Ugh. He's got 2 kids and hardly sees either of them. It breaks my heart for the DCB

          Comment

          • Blackcat31
            • Oct 2010
            • 36124

            #6
            Yes. It saddens me when parents don't allow their children to do the things they are perfectly capable of doing.

            Maria Montessori said it best "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed"

            Not only is it enabling but in a way it's insulting.

            In NO WAY do I view a parent carrying their 4 year old as a parent being actively involved....in my opinion it's the exact opposite...it's coddling them and trying to appease their own sense of feeling as though they are missing out on something so because of that, they are trying to keep their child a baby and that isn't fair to the child. Only the adult.

            I give my parents a hard time about it if they carry their kids 4+ yrs and older in. I let the know that there are other ways they can bond with and spend time with their child. Carrying them when they can (and usually want to) walk on their own is selfish on the parents part in my opinion.

            Comment

            • EntropyControlSpecialist
              Embracing the chaos.
              • Mar 2012
              • 7466

              #7
              Originally posted by Blackcat31
              Yes. It saddens me when parents don't allow their children to do the things they are perfectly capable of doing.

              Maria Montessori said it best "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed"

              Not only is it enabling but in a way it's insulting.

              In NO WAY do I view a parent carrying their 4 year old as a parent being actively involved....in my opinion it's the exact opposite...it's coddling them and trying to appease their own sense of feeling as though they are missing out on something so because of that, they are trying to keep their child a baby and that isn't fair to the child. Only the adult.

              I give my parents a hard time about it if they carry their kids 4+ yrs and older in. I let the know that there are other ways they can bond with and spend time with their child. Carrying them when they can (and usually want to) walk on their own is selfish on the parents part in my opinion.
              I agree. I have yet to meet a parent who "coddles" that doesn't have it negatively effect their child in 1+ ways.

              Comment

              • Shell
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jul 2013
                • 1765

                #8
                10! I cannot stand when parents do this- I do all I can to keep from rolling my eyes. This one's up there with parents that carry their way too big infants in carriers while practically knocking themselves over- take the kid out ofntheo friggen seat!!! ::

                Comment

                • MissAnn
                  Preschool Teacher
                  • Jan 2011
                  • 2213

                  #9
                  Originally posted by EntropyControlSpecialist
                  I agree. I have yet to meet a parent who "coddles" that doesn't have it negatively effect their child in 1+ ways.
                  Exactly. If it were just the carrying the boy in I think it would irritate me because I feel 3 and 4 year olds are plenty old enough to walk themselves in. Mixing that with the baby talk sends a message that the kid is still a baby and not capable of moving on into the big kid world. This dad tries to take off his kids coat and shoes.....but I stop him there.....no, he can do that for himself. I feel it stifles their development when parents "do" what their kids are so capable of doing for themselves.

                  Comment

                  • Second Home
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jan 2014
                    • 1567

                    #10
                    I have 1 dcd who carries in his ( very small for his age ) 4yr old when it is raining or snowing out . I like it because his shoes are not wet or muddy and I don't have to clean the floor after him .

                    But he does not baby talk thing or do it when the weather is nice .

                    Comment

                    • midaycare
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2014
                      • 5658

                      #11
                      It's weird but thankfully none of my dcf's do it. I see a lot of that in stores and malls. Kids who are 4, 5, and 6 in strollers

                      Comment

                      • daycarediva
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Jul 2012
                        • 11698

                        #12
                        I agree with BC. I had a former dcg in K who was carried in/out and to/from the bus by her parents. She couldn't wipe when she started K, she couldn't put ON her own shoes, zip, button, etc. She and the parents had a rude awakening!

                        Comment

                        • cara041083
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 567

                          #13
                          I have a 4 year old that the mom carry him in, with a blanky and used to bring a bottle * he's on it at home still) and then she try to sit on my couch and hold him and rock him (I put a stop to it). He is also not potty trained and where I live the public school starts pre school at the grade school and she think abduction hes ready.

                          Comment

                          • TheGoodLife
                            Home Daycare Provider
                            • Feb 2012
                            • 1372

                            #14
                            I see it two ways- I will carry my kids (between 2 and 5) if they ask and IF I'm able/willing to. I love to snuggle and I consider that a form of cuddling. Now mind you, this is short distances, not carting them around everywhere. Before I was a provider I'm sure I carried my oldest (then 2/3) into daycare at times, BUT I don't think of it as babying. I stress self-help skills and teach my kids to do what they can for themselves (if not just for them, for my own sanity as well ) Now when a parent does it, and everything else, for a child- that bugs me! Or when they do it because the child is throwing a fit! That is setting your child up for a harsh reality (as well as all their teachers/caregivers!)

                            Comment

                            • daycare
                              Advanced Daycare.com *********
                              • Feb 2011
                              • 16259

                              #15
                              cyber smack me if you want, but I baby and carry my 7 year old.

                              he is my youngest, Hes a miracle to be alive and I can't have anymore so he will always be my baby no matter what.

                              BUT when it's time for him to have to do things on his own, I don't do things for him, I make him do everything on his own.
                              Last edited by daycare; 12-17-2014, 09:50 AM.

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