3yo does NOTHING for first two hours

[newtodaycare22]

I have a 3 year old girl who just started her third week with me. Before this, she was in a daycare where she was the oldest one and her mom wanted her to learn more (I only have preschoolers in my setting).

1st week-She was fine. She had to adjust to the routines on Monday and I had to keep on her....but overall-she was ok!

2nd week-Monday, Tuesday-fine. Wed-Fri-Cried as soon as she walked in the door, hysterically, almost hyperventalting. Said she just wanted to go to sleep. I let mom fight with her while i worried about my other kids. Eventually, mom left the kid (sitting on the couch) and she literally did not get up for at least 2 hours. When she DID get up, it was like a switch went off. She just got up, and started playing.

It's the same deal today, and now mom is frustrated and I'm afraid taking it out abusively...which is a whole other issue This poor kid is obviously having some issues but she can not verbalize to you what is wrong. I know she just moved as well, so transitions are everywhere. I just can't figure out how to help her adjust. Ignoring her doesnt work, tough love doesn't work, and being nice doesn't work.

Any ideas of how to get her off the couch? I have degrees in early childhood education and psycholgy..and I'm out of ideas.::

[DCMomOf3]

Have mom hand her in and leave, no loitering. Don't let mom be the one putting her on the couch. Kids always tantrum longer and louder if parents are there. Then, once that is set I think she will start to realize she is missing out and will start to join the fun sooner. Just give her time. If her whole world has changed she needs time to find her place in it again.

[momma2girls]

I totally agree with this, and recently told a family, it is the best if parents just leave right away. I am having a Mom start here in 2 weeks, she said she would probably hang around for the first couple of weeks, while she gets adjusted. I just plain out said to her, I am sorry, but I have seen this way too many times- it is best if you just leave them here and take off!! We will see what she does and how the little girl adjusts!!

[laundrymom]

tomorrow greet her at the door, take her from moms arms and say,.. little Kira,... kick mommy out of daycare, she is too big for it,.. Go to work Mommy,... she will be fine. Then shoo her out the door,.... set the little girl down wherever you want and tell her,.. I am going to play when you are finished fussing, put your coat away and join us.... and walk away. if she isnt out in a couple minutes, remove her coat, shoes and whatever else you normally require,.. walk her in and stand her in the play area,.. then hand her a toy, turn around and busily engage yourself with someone else,... then include her in any activities you are going to do,.. snack, stories, etc,...

My philosophy is,.. dont give a barking dog a cookie,...

dog barks, you give it a cookie,.. dog thinks its a reward,....

kid cries from not getting her way,... attention,.. kid cries more next time,...
I break the barking dog cycle and give NO attention to fits,.. and immediately give attention for desired behavior.
It wont take long for her to learn that walking in and playing with get her talked to, played with and positive attention that most children desire. Fits, tantrums, and whining dont get much but a few moments alone here. I would take mom out of the issue. She is not helping so Bye mom go to work, I got this,.. is what you need to convey.

I have a 3 year old girl who just started her third week with me. Before this, she was in a daycare where she was the oldest one and her mom wanted her to learn more (I only have preschoolers in my setting).

1st week-She was fine. She had to adjust to the routines on Monday and I had to keep on her....but overall-she was ok!

2nd week-Monday, Tuesday-fine. Wed-Fri-Cried as soon as she walked in the door, hysterically, almost hyperventalting. Said she just wanted to go to sleep. I let mom fight with her while i worried about my other kids. Eventually, mom left the kid (sitting on the couch) and she literally did not get up for at least 2 hours. When she DID get up, it was like a switch went off. She just got up, and started playing.

It's the same deal today, and now mom is frustrated and I'm afraid taking it out abusively...which is a whole other issue This poor kid is obviously having some issues but she can not verbalize to you what is wrong. I know she just moved as well, so transitions are everywhere. I just can't figure out how to help her adjust. Ignoring her doesnt work, tough love doesn't work, and being nice doesn't work.

Any ideas of how to get her off the couch? I have degrees in early childhood education and psycholgy..and I'm out of ideas.::

[Blackcat31]

I totally agree with this, and recently told a family, it is the best if parents just leave right away. I am having a Mom start here in 2 weeks, she said she would probably hang around for the first couple of weeks, while she gets adjusted. I just plain out said to her, I am sorry, but I have seen this way too many times- it is best if you just leave them here and take off!! We will see what she does and how the little girl adjusts!!

this was waaaay back when there were lots of families/kids looking for care but I had this happen once too and the mom wanted to stay the first 2-3 weeks so she could see what her kids did all day..:confused:..I didn't know how to say no at the time so I called and told her my schedule changed and I wouldn't be able to take her kids after all...I just thought, "Wow, if she is like this now, what will she be like later..." I just couldn't do it. It wasn't as though her kid was her first; she had 3 and the oldest was 5 so I dunno...it was just weird to wanna hang out with me...luckily I had a waiting list then so I just took next kids in line.