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Our First Biting Incident
Yesterday we had our first biting incident. A one year old was bitten by a two year old no skin was broke but there were bite marks we Iced the bite mark and written out an incident report as well as wrote the bitter up for biting. Now the mom of the bitten kid is pissed she had her mom call me trying to get the name of the kid who bit. I told her the same thing I told the mom I can't give you that information due to privacy laws in our state. Grandma threatened to call her attorney. I have no idea what to do now. I may have to terminate care. Any one have suggestions for me? I know on Monday they will hound me for the kids name that bit.
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What state are you residing in? Do you have a biting policy in your contract? Here are some more threads on biting and policy:
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Wow, nobody wants their kid to get bitten but aren't they over-reacting just a tad???? I'm hoping an attorney would laugh at them. One biting incident from a 2 yo does not make that 2 yo a juvenile delinquent. IMO most, if not all, small children go through something similar, whether it's biting, hitting, pushing, pulling hair, pinching. Their verbal skills just aren't developed enough to say 'hey, I want my toy back' or 'get out of my face'.
I would calmly tell dcm what your plans are to deal with the biting and that's no guarantee it won't happen again. Heaven help them if THEIR child ever bites someone!! Obviously g'ma's out of line demanding to know who the child is. I'd also give them some reading material about toddler biting.
Plus why is dcm siccing her mom on you when dcm is the only one you should be dealing with in issues such as this?? I think I'd have to think about terming if, after 1 bite, she's raising such a ruckus. ETA: The term notice would go to dcm and g'ma, not the biter. Geez dcm and g'ma, give the poor 2 yo a break to learn better behavior.Comment
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While biting is an undesirable behavior, and clearly we do everything we can to stop it, it is a typical toddler behavior. It usually takes a few weeks to months to stop. Most likely, there will be more incidents from the same kiddo until he or she learns other ways to handle their feelings.
So, if you're terming, which I wouldn't, I would term the bitee, not the biter. I would simply say "we are dealing with it. We will NOT give out the child's name. Quite frankly, it could happen again, no matter how hard we are working on it. If you have a problem with that, then you'll need to find another care arrangement, but please keep in mind that this is common toddler behavior, and dck could be bitten at the next place, and the next, and the next. Please remember, we do require 2 weeks notice.
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I would absolutely in a heart beat term the bitee family.
"Dear dcm and grandma,
While biting is a very undesirable behavior in child care, it is a fairly normal behavior in children who have yet to develop adequate verbal skills and coping mechanisms. Although every attempt is made to prevent it from happening, I can not guarantee it will never happen again. Since your recent communication of your desire to seek legal counsel, consider this your termination of care notice. I simply can't and won't tolerate any type of harassment by non contracted family members, verbal threats of legal action for a normal developmental toddler behavior, or your insistence that I violate privacy laws. Consider this termination of care notice IMMEDIATE. You have until xxx date to pick up your child's belongings if applicable."
Sincerely,
Dcp that isn't going to take your crap.Comment
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Listen to the wise words of all the providers on here...term term term! You will absolutely regret it in the future if you don't term.
There will be another instance, maybe the next bite will break skin and they will call the health department and make the other kid be tested for rabies...you never know how crazy parents(and grandparents) can get.
I wouldn't be so adamant about terming if it hadn't been for the ridiculous "I'm calling my lawyer!" crap that grandma pulled. How dare she threaten you!Comment
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I absolutely agree with everyone saying to term the bitee family! It's not just the biting I would be worried about. If this is how they react then imagine what will happen if the DCK comes home with any bump or bruise. Too much liability!Comment
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I also agree about terming the family with the child that was bitten. I'd like to see their reaction to the being the ones termed. I imagine they won't understand why it was them.
They sound like nuts.
KellyHomeschooling Mama to:
lovethis
dd12
ds 10
dd 8Comment
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Talk about over-reacting!!! I think you probably should term, but if you want to give them one more chance, agree with the advice to let them know this can happen in this age group since kids aren't all verbal, are still teething, and that you will shadow the biter, and do what you can. This lady has a real wake up call coming if this is how she responds to things in life!Comment
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Cradle to Crayons has the perfect response.Comment
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Any updates today?Comment
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No show
Yep the kid that got bit didn't come to daycare today. No call no show.Comment
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If you're licensed, I'd recommend calling/emailing your licensor and give them a heads up on the situation. I have a feeling they may pull without notice and file a complaint if they are going to overreact like that. They sounded downright aggressive. What were they planning to do if they knew the biter's name? Sounds like they weren't planning to give them flowers...Comment
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Update
A little update for you. Dcm calls today to see if it's ok to bring dcb to daycare after her mom threatens to call a lawyer on us. We said no you can't bring him so she was terminated Monday. She said she was going to come around nine to pick up dcb stuff she never came. Thanks everyone for all your advise.Comment
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