Feeling Guilty

[Turquoise14]

New member here. I've been reading through things for a few days now and have learned a lot. I have been at the home day care grind for about three and a half months now. Taught for four years and changed careers to stay home with my son.

Today is the first time I have sent anyone home sick. Family with Dcb2 and baby have kept them out two days for the flu. Dcb2 was a big crier today (although that's not totally unusual for him. He's just kinda a whiner) and I took his temp at 11 am to find a 100.4 temp.

I don't really think that they drug and dropped him...anyways even though he had a temp, I still felt bad calling mom to come get him. Now wiping things down. Sure hope nobody else gets sick. Dcb is the type to wipe his face on things and always has his tongue out or hand in his mouth. Just conflicted. Don't want everyone sick, but feel bad for dcf.

[therov]

Uh, don't. This is how you prevent everyone else from getting sick too. I doubt you want to bring that on your own kid or yourself. It's a part of enrolling one's kid in daycare and they'll have to manage it themselves. You have to juggle health regulations, communicable disease management, and preventing disease. No guilt.

[preschoolteacher]

Don't feel bad. Seriously.

I WOULD feel guilty if I got sick and closed on parents unexpectedly. I have never gotten sick yet on a daycare day (luckily the stuff I catch waits til the weekend... eh!). I think it's important to close if you are too ill to work, but the thought of calling parents at night or early in the morning to tell them I'm sick, closed, and they have to take off work today or find other care, now that would make me feel bad...

And that sort of thing will happen if you DON'T send home a sick child.

Plus, none of the other parents want their kids to get sick. I'd be ticked as a parent if I knew my provider was letting kids with fevers stick around daycare.

You did the right thing for everyone. That baby will get better at home with parents much faster than in a daycare setting.

[Turquoise14]

I hear ya. Dcd commented that dcb seemed happy when he got there to pick him up. Just ****s the first time having to set the precedent for how it's going to be.

[Turquoise14]

They took him to urgent care. Dcm says that the doctor says it is just remnants of the flu. She asked if dad should keep him home tomorrow. I said that if the doctor says he isn't contagious he is welcome back tomorrow.


Cause you know you'd feel pretty bad if the other kids got the flu.....(didn't say that part) I wonder if they'll bring him.

[TheGoodLife]

If your son was sick, would you expect your DCP to take care of your child, or would you feel that that's your job as a parent? Why would you feel bad- kids get sick and they are the parents so he should be home with them It gets easier as time goes by, glad you stuck to your policies and sent him home- no one wants to be away from home when sick! He needs cuddles and extra time at home to recuperate!

[craftymissbeth]

Yep, don't feel bad! Part of bringing children into this world is the responsibility of caring for them when they're sick. As a parent, I know that it is my job to do the dirty work of caring for my child when he isn't 100%... I would never in a million years want him to be anywhere else but home if he isn't feeling well.

ETA: he had a fever of 100.4... that means it's not just "remnants" but that his body is still actively fighting off the virus.

[TheGoodLife]

Yes, do you have a contract/ policy about 24 hours fever-free? I would let the parents know he needs to stay home tomorrow to be sure he's better and give him time to rest. You can stress how it's so much better for HIM to recuperate in the peace and quiet of his home and not around the busy and loud daycare! Plus, would they want a sick child to be in care around him, if roles were reversed, and risk getting him sick?

[e.j.]

They took him to urgent care. Dcm says that the doctor says it is just remnants of the flu. She asked if dad should keep him home tomorrow. I said that if the doctor says he isn't contagious he is welcome back tomorrow.


Cause you know you'd feel pretty bad if the other kids got the flu.....(didn't say that part) I wonder if they'll bring him.

My policy is the child has to be symptom free for at least 24 hours before coming back to day care. If this were one of my families, they would not have the option of bringing the child tomorrow.

[daycarediva]

Yes, do you have a contract/ policy about 24 hours fever-free? I would let the parents know he needs to stay home tomorrow to be sure he's better and give him time to rest. You can stress how it's so much better for HIM to recuperate in the peace and quiet of his home and not around the busy and loud daycare! Plus, would they want a sick child to be in care around him, if roles were reversed, and risk getting him sick?

This--- and don't assume that they didn't dope and drop. If he gets a fever around lunch time tomorrow......

He would not be admitted by me tomorrow. 24 hours fever free. If he didn't have a fever AT ALL tomorrow, he could come back Friday. Fever=still sick.

[nannyde]

They took him to urgent care. Dcm says that the doctor says it is just remnants of the flu. She asked if dad should keep him home tomorrow. I said that if the doctor says he isn't contagious he is welcome back tomorrow.


Cause you know you'd feel pretty bad if the other kids got the flu.....(didn't say that part) I wonder if they'll bring him.

Did you get a note saying the diagnosis and whether or not it is contagious? Never take a parents word. They may not have even taken the child in.

[daycare]

honey you are what I call NEW NICE......Me many moons again.

One thing that you have to remember is that you are running a business that promotes keeping children safe and secure............. NOT making parents happy. If you go about it the way that you are, you are going to burn out on trying to make all of the parents happy and they will all only continue to walk all over you.

If you don't already have one, you need to create an illness policy, actually you need a full DC handbook. Many people on here have great ones to share. The handbook is only good if you actually practice what you preach. It's worthless if you don't enforce it.

I agree with all the others that this child should he staying home for a full 24 hours after being sent home for a day of rest and recovery.

I would contact the parents now and tell them that you were not aware that county rules stated the 24hour policy and that DCK will need to stay home tomorrow.

[Turquoise14]

You are all right. I'm just a SAHM doing this to be able to afford to be with my kids. Kind of a five year plan. I am friends with these people (former coworker dad) and it is hard to say no to them. I feel like I could more easily nip it in the bud with my other two families. Haven't had a formal sick policy, but obviously I need to make one. Learning as issues arise. And I've learned what mistakes to fix as I had read through everyone's posts Already had to school them and another family before on paying when their children aren't in attendance. Everyone has been okay with what I decide generally, as they know they have a good deal going. And they can't be too upset about staying home. They get paid whether or not they go work, so they aren't out any money.

[Turquoise14]

Ok. Not feeling guilty anymore, just a bit annoyed. So this post is now hijacked and turned into a vent. Dcf kept their sick boy home today, but sent their baby...an hour and a half later than usual. Got the text they would bring him in after getting oldest child to school after I'd already gotten up and taken a shower. They are by far the earliest drop off and my own child sleeps later too, so I just had an hour and a half to myself. Which is nice, but you know I'd rather sleep... Baby came in with a high decibel screaming fit. I had to bounce him to sleep.


I don't really understand sending one child and staying home with the other. The baby has already had the sickness and is symptom free now so he's allowed. I just know that when I had my own son in daycare, I relished any time I could get with him. I know I'd want my baby at home with me if I could have him. I said to dcd "so you get to have some quality one on one with dcb" and he replied with sarcasm "yeah, cause that's always fun." Funny how you expect me to love the little guy, but you don't even want a day with him. He was happy to miss work, but not to spend the day with one of his sons.

Got it out there.