Really Hurt :(

[melskids]

ive have some parents give me cash, equal to a weeks pay.

some bring me little trinkets, handmade ornaments, goodies, etc.

some just give me a card with a new holiday picture of their kids.

i love it all, and am greatful.

but i have a few who say nothing. not a "merry christmas, thank you" nothing. and honestly, it does hurt. but sometimes, i cut them a little slack. we all live differently, and christmas may not be as important to some as others. they might not realize that its important to me, you know? the family who said nothing to me last year isnt really that into holidays. so even though it hurt, i have to respect the way they do things too. this same family had an older son leave for Iraq this year. mom has been a mess. i have been bending over backward (which i wanted to) to help out. one day out of the blue mom broke down in front of me, and went on and on how she wouldnt have made it through the year without my help, how wonderful of a provider i am, and how greatful she is that i'm always here for her family. i soo bawled, right there in front of her too. after two years of never saying anything, she let it all out... so next week, i won't be expecting a "gift" from her, but in my eyes, i've already received it.

[dEHmom]

Very much agreed!!! with the last few posts.

The fact that a parent doesn't find us worthy enough of a card wishing us and/or our family a happy holiday is enough to tick me off.

It's not the gift/money per say. Although it sure makes you feel a lot more appreciated and not just a name on a list for who you "have to" give a card to. And if it's obvious there is some thought put into the gift, even better. It shows they truly do care about us as much as we care about their kids (most likely we care about the kids more, but you get my jist).

Personally, I understand both logics, and I can see how maybe we can slip their mind. How if the childs last day was last week, how maybe they never even realized that it was the time to say merry christmas happy new year blah blah.
I understand child care is a major cost to any parent (except one, cause she told me about 10 times in the interview she was only doing it for a tax writeoff, I didn't accept that kid into my care as my gut was telling me CRAZY PEOPLE! ), but as I've stated before, not sure if it was in this thread of a different one, the cost for their child's care is very minimal. Just imagine if we charged $5/hr for fulltimers too! On average my casual right now pays me 120/week, that's 480/mth! That's a lot of money, yes, but that's not even my mortgage payment for the month. With certain moms, when we become closer, if the conversation ever arises in one way or another, NOT that I am sitting there waiting for this opportunity, but either mention to take the cost/day and divide into the number of hours the child is in my care, or just flat out say 2/hour! Once the parents see it in that respect, it changes everything. It's just backwards from the morning tims/mth. If you don't know what I'm talking about, people who get a coffee on their way to work every morning think it's only a $1 or 2, add that up over the month, and that's a lot of coffee! Buy a can of grinds and a coffee maker and it's cheaper.

I even had cards made up for prior clients who no longer use my services. I won't do this forever, but for the year of care. We make crafts on every occassion for xmas, mothers day, father's day, if we know the parents bday then we do that as well. Those are crafts that go above what the normal everyday crafts are. They are more special, cost more money, and generally have a lot of time planning and preparing to do so. We don't get paid to take an hour out of our day to do shopping for the weeks lunches/snacks, we don't get paid time to prepare those snacks/lunches in the evening or portion them out, we don't get paid time and a half on holidays that we do work, or double time for that matter. People working at mcdonalds get a lot more pay, health benefits, dental etc. We don't, unless we choose to pay alot more to buy our own coverage.

As for the days off we get paid for during the year, I don't see it that way. If they're child is sick, they've still booked that spot, I was ready and willing to work that morning, I got up, if they phoned and said charlie was up all night, they're not bringing him to daycare, hows that fair? I don't charge for any days I take off due to sickness, vacation or anything (so far I haven't had to call in sick knock on wood), and if the family goes on vacation I charge 50% of the rate to maintain their spot for a max of 1 week, any extra weeks is then 100% the rate, but how many people honestly take 2 or more weeks vacation all at once? And if they inform me with 4 full weeks notice, then I probably won't charge them at all, depending on if I can fill those spots with casuals.

[nannyde]

My one dcm paid me through the rest of the year (they're out until January now) and included an extra half weeks' pay!! I was thrilled, and that the card AND her words that day said "Thank you so much for all you do for dcb, we really appreciate it" (okay, I paraphrased, but that's the gist) meant EVEN more. The fact that what I do for their son and their family means ENOUGH to them that they wanted to give me something (and half a weeks' pay is nothing to sneeze at!) in return, means a lot.

My parents give cash (extra days paid off, gift cards, money) and chocolates (Ritter Sport chocolate to be EXACT). Nan likey those :: Usually the first Christmas is a little cash and a gift. By the second Christmas it's about one weeks pay. Third is usually one weeks pay and a great gift. Fourth and up is usually two weeks pay.

They do bring in containers of treats for the kids. One of my Dad's is an executive chef so he sends home made treats. All of my families can COOK and food is important so they bring the day care kids some kind of fancy bars, cookies, hand dipped candies. We also get donations of home grown stuff like bags of corn and wild meats. Last year one of my Dad's donated a few big bags of deer roasts and fish. This year one of the families gave us bags of frozen corn from their parents farm. Nan likey that too cuz that's something special we don't normally get.

When they give gifts it is usually something to do with cooking. I get a good stock of Pampered Chef cooking ware because I do a LOT of cooking and they know the higher end equipment makes it easier for me to make big meals every day. They buy me multiples of pans and knives and stuff so I can have everything I need to make everything from scratch.

They are also very generous with my staff assistant. She pulled in nearly three hundred from the parents this year in cash and then got candy and some Christmas stuff for gifts. I share any food that comes in with her so she got a cut of the corn :: I also bonus her at the end of the year a percentage of my bonus plus two weeks paid off.

We got a couple of cards but the cash comes in cash envelopes and they usually scrawl something like "thanks we love you guys.." on the outside of the envelope. They aren't such a mushy writing group.

My families are respectful and appreciative. They recognize how HARD we work all year. They know we don't call off work and we only have about 18 to 20 days off total per year. We send their kid home happy and healthy every day and we don't have conflict that isn't handled with dignity.

They know we go the extra mile every day in making sure their kid has the best we can do and come year end they show their appreciation in money and gifts of food that they know are VERY special to us.

[momma2girls]

Very much agreed!!! with the last few posts.

The fact that a parent doesn't find us worthy enough of a card wishing us and/or our family a happy holiday is enough to tick me off.

It's not the gift/money per say. Although it sure makes you feel a lot more appreciated and not just a name on a list for who you "have to" give a card to. And if it's obvious there is some thought put into the gift, even better. It shows they truly do care about us as much as we care about their kids (most likely we care about the kids more, but you get my jist).

Personally, I understand both logics, and I can see how maybe we can slip their mind. How if the childs last day was last week, how maybe they never even realized that it was the time to say merry christmas happy new year blah blah.
I understand child care is a major cost to any parent (except one, cause she told me about 10 times in the interview she was only doing it for a tax writeoff, I didn't accept that kid into my care as my gut was telling me CRAZY PEOPLE! ), but as I've stated before, not sure if it was in this thread of a different one, the cost for their child's care is very minimal. Just imagine if we charged $5/hr for fulltimers too! On average my casual right now pays me 120/week, that's 480/mth! That's a lot of money, yes, but that's not even my mortgage payment for the month. With certain moms, when we become closer, if the conversation ever arises in one way or another, NOT that I am sitting there waiting for this opportunity, but either mention to take the cost/day and divide into the number of hours the child is in my care, or just flat out say 2/hour! Once the parents see it in that respect, it changes everything. It's just backwards from the morning tims/mth. If you don't know what I'm talking about, people who get a coffee on their way to work every morning think it's only a $1 or 2, add that up over the month, and that's a lot of coffee! Buy a can of grinds and a coffee maker and it's cheaper.

I even had cards made up for prior clients who no longer use my services. I won't do this forever, but for the year of care. We make crafts on every occassion for xmas, mothers day, father's day, if we know the parents bday then we do that as well. Those are crafts that go above what the normal everyday crafts are. They are more special, cost more money, and generally have a lot of time planning and preparing to do so. We don't get paid to take an hour out of our day to do shopping for the weeks lunches/snacks, we don't get paid time to prepare those snacks/lunches in the evening or portion them out, we don't get paid time and a half on holidays that we do work, or double time for that matter. People working at mcdonalds get a lot more pay, health benefits, dental etc. We don't, unless we choose to pay alot more to buy our own coverage.

As for the days off we get paid for during the year, I don't see it that way. If they're child is sick, they've still booked that spot, I was ready and willing to work that morning, I got up, if they phoned and said charlie was up all night, they're not bringing him to daycare, hows that fair? I don't charge for any days I take off due to sickness, vacation or anything (so far I haven't had to call in sick knock on wood), and if the family goes on vacation I charge 50% of the rate to maintain their spot for a max of 1 week, any extra weeks is then 100% the rate, but how many people honestly take 2 or more weeks vacation all at once? And if they inform me with 4 full weeks notice, then I probably won't charge them at all, depending on if I can fill those spots with casuals.

THis is very well said!!!

[marniewon]

I am super surprised - the family that gave notice this weekend (who didn't say as much as Merry Christmas last year) gave me a card, hand made/decorated cookies, and a Willow Tree angel Really trying to wait until after breakfast before diving in to the cookies, not sure how long that will last!

[SilverSabre25]

I am super surprised - the family that gave notice this weekend (who didn't say as much as Merry Christmas last year) gave me a card, hand made/decorated cookies, and a Willow Tree angel Really trying to wait until after breakfast before diving in to the cookies, not sure how long that will last!

I know how that is! I'm trying REALLY hard to finish up all my baking so I can give my families the plates of goodies before I eat 'em all.

[marniewon]

I know how that is! I'm trying REALLY hard to finish up all my baking so I can give my families the plates of goodies before I eat 'em all.

My son is going with his grandma for their Christmas time together tomorrow night (they do this every year) and all she ever wants is no-bake cookies. My son wanted to make them over the weekend and I told him he might want to wait until Tuesday afternoon, if he wants to have any left to give to grandma ::