I Am At A Loss As To How To Stop The Meanness Going On In My DC!

[crazydaycarelady]

I recently had a bunch of kids who had birthdays so now I have a little pack of 3yos and a little pack of 2yos.

The 3yos are out of control. They say to each other "go away", "you're not my friend", "you can't play" but they say these things in the meanest tone of voice. Plus then they all tattle back and forth. I am getting the tattling under control but when I tell them to be nice or talk nice to their friends they just aren't getting it. How do I teach them that tone of voice is almost more important then the words said?

The 2yos are just a mass of crying kids taking toys away from each other and fighting over the Dora picnic basket (I put it up.)

It has been so cold here we haven't been able to go outside so maybe that is part of it, but I am just not enjoying this group at all.

[deliberateliterate]

No advice, just commiseration. I have a group of 2yr olds, and they are just horrible to each other. H is witness to it some mornings before he leaves for work, and he is amazed at just how quick and often they are at each other's throats (sometimes literally).

[Scribbles]

Could you maybe try to buddy up a 3 yr old with a 2 yr old and have them all play in small groups? Maybe making a 3 year old a "helper" would be enough for them to feel empowered to help the little ones and having something to do sometimes makes it better.

Also, when they are all out fighting with each other, maybe it's a signal that they all break up and play solo instead. I would think that not having someone to play with might help show them that playing with others is more fun than playing alone.

[Cradle2crayons]

I had a child like this once....

After spending a few days trying other methods....

I did role playing. I pretended to be the mean speaking one... And was a. Little over exaggerating ... She ended up understanding how she sounded and that cleared up the issue.

[Laurel]

I had a child like this once....

After spending a few days trying other methods....

I did role playing. I pretended to be the mean speaking one... And was a. Little over exaggerating ... She ended up understanding how she sounded and that cleared up the issue.

I've done this with the little play people figures also.

Laurel

[jenboo]

I had a child like this once....

After spending a few days trying other methods....

I did role playing. I pretended to be the mean speaking one... And was a. Little over exaggerating ... She ended up understanding how she sounded and that cleared up the issue.

You could do a similar thing with an old school tape recorder. Let them listen to how they sound.

[Josiegirl]

It gets incredibly difficult when the environment starts changing towards that way. I have no great advice but these are some of the ways I would approach it:
More group activities such as water table(or rice, sand, sensory of some sort)
Playdoh ALWAYS quiets my group down
More music activities, put on the Christmas songs and let them dress up, they're good to go
Bring out toys they don't normally play with- my go to toys are magnetic dolls and I have enough of them that my group can play nicely together.
Help them do nice things for some of the others.
My kids fight over who's going to serve the lunch plates so they can all serve to 1 other person. I always make a big deal how they made someone else smile.
When dcks start fighting over playing I find a tablecloth, lay it on the floor and we make a pretend picnic for everyone, serving and helping each other.

It's a learning process and takes a whole lotta time but they'll pass through this stage, remembering some of the things they learn. Before ya know it they'll be onto another 'drive ya crazy' stage.
This time of year is good for impressing giving to others, let them make cards for each other. It's a hard thing to teach little ones that the world is NOT all about them. It's just the nature of the beast.

And always remember but never forget that we're their role models. I have to constantly remind myself to speak gently because to be honest, sometimes daycare can be frustrating. I know, isn't that strange???