Am I In The Right, Or Are The DCPS? (Long, Sorry)

[SilverSabre25]

Agreed that calcium intake is in other foods.


As for the child not being able to manage putting small bites of food into her mouth at 14 months......

Is she that chubby that maybe her hands aren't functioning? Or is it simply due to lack of development in this area due to it always being done for her?

I've had that feeling too, where it's beneficial to have children like this in my own care.

She's not *that* chubby--it looks more like a lack of practice sort of thing. She concentrates REALLY hard to get a piece of food from plate to mouth; so much so that eating finger foods doesn't look like it's "natural" for her yet.

[dEHmom]

For me that seems so strange at that age. I mean even if parents still feed her. At 6 mths my boys were picking up pieces of bacon and steak! I know I know! Even just crawling around on the floor they figured out how to pick up microscopic pieces of anything and it was in their mouth so fast you can't even get out the word no. So developmentally then, there is definitely something wrong with this child. Unfortunately until they are about 5 yrs of age, most problems go undiagnosed. Does she look normal other than the chub? Every kid develops at their own pace, and factors such as mommy spoon feeding to avoid mess will delay slightly, but not to this extreme.

[kidkair]

Maybe you should print a list of things she should be able to do by now such as self feed and give the list to the parents and ask that they work on the milestones she hasn't aced yet. After that I would just drop it all together. Push her hard to learn your rules. She should figure out pretty soon what she can do at your house and what she can do at home. If mom was more okay with your way than dad is you may have to wait until mom is back in town before getting any further with getting parents on board.

[nannyde]

The milk answer is: "Oh daddy I give her a four ounce cup and she's doing pretty darn good with it. If she wants more I'l top it off with more. I always want to make sure she gets her belly full." Then squeeze her chunky little thighs and say "she hasn't missed a meal yet".

With the table food just put her in the high chair with chopped food and let her at it. She will pick it up.

With the naps... just tell him that you CAN have her up during nap and sleeping from the 3-5 time but you will have to hire an assistant for her for the 1-3 nap time since this is when the other kids nap and you get your "chores" done and break time. Let them know she would LOVE one to one attention and you are sure you could get someone JUST for her. That will be an extra $20 a day so just let me know if you guys want that and I'll start interviewing assistants. OR... she can nap when the other kids nap and the fee will stay the same. Whatever they want you will do.

[dEHmom]

The milk answer is: "Oh daddy I give her a four ounce cup and she's doing pretty darn good with it. If she wants more I'l top it off with more. I always want to make sure she gets her belly full." Then squeeze her chunky little thighs and say "she hasn't missed a meal yet".

With the table food just put her in the high chair with chopped food and let her at it. She will pick it up.

With the naps... just tell him that you CAN have her up during nap and sleeping from the 3-5 time but you will have to hire an assistant for her for the 1-3 nap time since this is when the other kids nap and you get your "chores" done and break time. Let them know she would LOVE one to one attention and you are sure you could get someone JUST for her. That will be an extra $20 a day so just let me know if you guys want that and I'll start interviewing assistants. OR... she can nap when the other kids nap and the fee will stay the same. Whatever they want you will do.

::Awesome

[Unregistered]

Who is Right?

I agree with you in your house your rules you can't just let every child do what they want. You need to have control over you daycare. Now if the DCPs want their child to have that much attention they should get a private nannie for the child.

[QualiTcare]

that's ridiculous - she shouldn't even be drinking out of bottle period - much less being held while she drinks it. ugh, i wouldn't do it.

[e.j.]

With the naps... just tell him that you CAN have her up during nap and sleeping from the 3-5 time but you will have to hire an assistant for her for the 1-3 nap time since this is when the other kids nap and you get your "chores" done and break time. Let them know she would LOVE one to one attention and you are sure you could get someone JUST for her. That will be an extra $20 a day so just let me know if you guys want that and I'll start interviewing assistants. OR... she can nap when the other kids nap and the fee will stay the same. Whatever they want you will do.

I love it! :: I can see where this kind of response could be useful in many ways.

[SilverSabre25]

Thanks everyone! Nannyde--great suggestions, thanks!

Dad seemed a little more comfortable with stuff today. I didn't specify how much milk she'd drank, just that she'd been taking it out of a sippy cup and I'm going to pick up some Take n Toss straw cups this weekend for her, and I asked him to stop sending bottles 'cause we don't give them over 12 months. He was totally fine with that and told me that she actually uses straw cups at home (then...why are you a) sending bottles and b) just now telling me this?).

I have been treating her just like any other kid, giving her the food and letting her make her own way with it. She just takes for-freaking-ever to eat and is having a hard time with that hand-to-mouth coordination. BayBee, it seems strange to me as well, but maybe she was just one who was late taking to solids? I'm not sure. I'll start watching. She seems otherwise completely normal, developmentally, from what I've seen (in the three days I've had her, that is). KidKair, that's a good idea and I might do that, even if just for *my* sake and I don't show it to the parents. It's been 2 years since I've had a kid that age, and mine was always ahead of the curve on everything so I'm not always sure of "normal".

[Former Teacher]

I'll trade ya.....I have a 5 year old who is carried into and out of the house. Mom dresses and undresses him daily; jacket, boots, hat and mittens. She also tells me that she cuts his food up into tiny little pieces so he doesn't choke and he has a sippy cup too. He isn't allowed to bring it here though...He gets a big boy cup here and I do NOT cut up his food and he HAS to dress and undress himself here....all of which he does just fine but if mom wants to keep treating him like a baby...then it will be her problem! Oh, and he told me the other day that his mom still lays down with him every night! I asked her about it and she said he is scared and when she lays with him he can fall asleep and then she sneeks out after he falls asleep! Whew! NO wonder she works full time!! LOL!! I do less for the kid and I get paid!!

I can top that and then some! I had a parent of a 3 year old boy (who did all that you said above PLUS) tell me that she hand feeds him so he will eat better. She requested that I do the same. "Ma am I am sorry no" She was like "what?! He has to eat!!" "Of course he can and he will. I just won't do it for him. I have 20 plus other kids that have to eat at the same time. I can not sit and feed a 3 y.o." She didn't look happy and kinda of stormed off.

The next day (his 1st day) at lunch he sat there and was expecting me to feed him. I told him that if he wasn't going to eat that I was taking it away and he won't eat again until his mother got there. He understood. He ate all his lunch and then wanted more! Mom came and picked up and first thing she asked was about lunch. I said he had seconds. She asked me if I fed him.."Ma am I told you I can't. Even if I could, I wouldn't. He's 3 years old. He needs to develop his hand/eye coordination". ::

Never brought it up again.

[dEHmom]

I don't think I've fed my youngest child (my own I mean) since he was 7 or 8 mths old. And that was because we were in a restaurant and I forgot to bring the wipes.

Sorry, but I have 3 of my own children, and I want to eat too. I'm not eating after everyone else is finished. If its something they can't do on their own like maybe soup, ok that's different. But everything I make for lunches/dinners is child friendly. So there's no reason for it.

What are those kids going to do when they go to school? Teachers aren't going to feed them!

[Unregistered]

You need type up YOUR daycare sehedule with naps, meal times, etc. type up a menu with food and drinks for a week and email it to them tell them this is your rountine and menu. If they come back and disagree with anything you tell them as nicely as possiable that they are more then welcomed to go find another provider if they wish but your shecdule, meals will not change.

[cillybean83]

i have a 15 month old who still takes a bottle, will only self feed cheerios, and chokes on anything chunkier than sage 2 baby food, of which she will only eat fruits, and obviously is spoon fed, she wants a bottle with her *at all times* she doesn't care if it's empty, she just wants it. She drinks a full bottle of milk twice a day, so EIGHTEEN OUNCES of milk while she's at my house, she won't drink water and she won't drink juice

my own baby will turn 1 tomorrow, but he was 6 weeks premature, but he's off formula and onto whole milk, he gets a 4 oz bottle of milk 3-4 times per day, and 3-4 sippy cups of REALLY watered down juice, and he is spoon fed stage 3 food once a day, and self feeds the rest of the time...and his doctor, even tho he was a premie, gets on to me about babying him too much, I can't imagine what a dr would say to the mother of the 15 month old i watch!

I say it's your house, your daycare, you decide...i personally just go with what the parents want as long as it doesn't harm the kids at all and it's within reason, but honestly...telling you the number of ounces they want their toddler to drink isn't exactly within reason...good luck!

[SilverSabre25]

Man...I'm both glad and appalled that I'm not the only one with a kid like this (and that there are ones as old as 3 and 5)!

It is absolutely my home, my rules; most of the purpose of this post I guess was to find out if "my home my rules" is what it ought to be, and it sounds like it is!