How to Politely Tell a DCM and DCD to Please Pick up DCG and Just GO...

[Soccermom]

I have a DCM and DCD who are really starting to irritate me at pick up.

They will come in and play with the other kids. They get all the kids excited and running. They let the little kids climb on them and hug them. We are at the point now where just the simple sight of them gets the kids all worked up.

I think that I been very clear in my feelings about this with them and there has been no change.

They pick up right at clean up time and insist that DCG help clean but they get all the kids all worked up by sitting on the floor or steps and allowing them to climb all over them. I correct the behavior and keep telling DCG that we will take care of the mess so she can go get ready but it is mass chaos everyday.

They may not mind the sound of 9 screaming, laughing and super hyper kids since they only have the one child but I have been listening to it all day and I like to try to keep the kids calm at the end of the day.

Since I am not taking on any new enrollments, I would love to make this work so I don't want to come off as rude. I need a polite way of flat out telling them to please pick up DCG and hit the road.

Any suggestions?

[Play Care]

The way I see it you have few options. You have told them not to do it and they still are, essentially telling you without words that they don't have to follow your rules. You can say more firmly before it happens again, "I've told you I don't like when you do that. Please don't do it again." Or if you don't want to be confrontational, about a half hour before pick up have the kids clean up. Get them at the table with books, puzzles, maybe some coloring. Nothing requiring major clean up. Make all kids stay seated during the pick up unless they are the ones leaving. Use booster seats and buckle them in, if you can't keep them seated without. Take the fun out of it.

[permanentvacation]

You might need to change your routine at the time that child is picked up. You could
1. have the kids playing outside at pick up time

2. Make sure the kids have already completely cleaned up before those parents arrive. Have the children watching a tv show during pick up time. When the children start to get crazy about those parents arriving, continue to tell them to sit still and quiet so they can hear the show.

3. You could keep your current routine and start reprimanding the children for getting wild when the parents arrive

4. You could rearrange you daycare area/rooms so the children are required to stay in the room away from the door. I had a problem just like you are saying. I used to use the living room which is by the front door for daycare. I decided to use the dining room which is the room after the dining room and not by the door. I made a rule that the children were not allowed to come out of the dining room. At pick up time, I would make sure each child had their coats on before the parents arrived. When a parent came to the door, I would call their child from the dining room to the door and I would stand close to the parents blocking them so they couldn't walk too far into the house. If the children got excited I would reprimand them and make them stay in the dining room. If the parents tried to get past me to get to the kids, I would block them and then say to their child something like, 'Come on, Mom's here, let's go." Or if their child was already at the door with them, I would start saying, "Bye guys, have a good night."

5. You could be bluntly honest with the parents. You could say something like, ' I know you like to play with the kids, but it gets them all wound up and it takes a while for me to get control of them again after you leave. I really need them to continue cleaning up and getting ready to go home."

[daycarediva]

The way I see it you have few options. You have told them not to do it and they still are, essentially telling you without words that they don't have to follow your rules. You can say more firmly before it happens again, "I've told you I don't like when you do that. Please don't do it again." Or if you don't want to be confrontational, about a half hour before pick up have the kids clean up. Get them at the table with books, puzzles, maybe some coloring. Nothing requiring major clean up. Make all kids stay seated during the pick up unless they are the ones leaving. Use booster seats and buckle them in, if you can't keep them seated without. Take the fun out of it.

yup.

I would be blunt though. The other kids really enjoy when you come to visit, but it's very difficult to get everyone calmed back down, so if we could not stay and visit at the end of the day, I would appreciate it. I'm sure you understand. *point to screaming, crazy kids*

I would THEN follow through. Have things cleaned up already (start a little earlier) have their kid dressed and ready to go, and have the other kids doing a table activity.

I also DO NOT allow dcps to touch other peoples kids.

[AngelsMommy]

I mention in my handbook that drop offs and pick ups need to be quick because it interferes with schedules and routines. Parents who need to speak to me pertaining to their child can do so but it is to be brief.

[Meeko]

I never, ever, ever let a parent touch someone else's child.

The liability issues are off the charts.

Most of you know this, but maybe some of you newer ones don't.......I used to let parents into the playroom, come by and help with parties, hang out and chat etc etc.

Until one day we found out that the dad who was always hanging around the most and enjoyed having little girls hang all over him, wasn't a great dad at all.

He was a sex offender who had done time for rape of a child in another state and got out for good behavior. Had kept it hidden, married and had a daughter (who he was abusing).

You can imagine the investigation when it came to light because his daughter told us what he was doing to her.

I was so naive to think he was a fun and involved father. My daycare was like sex offender Disneyland to this creep.

Now no parent is allowed in the play area at all during daycare hours. Kids are brought out to their parents.

[crazydaycarelady]

I would also tell the kids that they are not allowed to play with or climb on so-and-so parent. Remind them of this for several days before the parents pick up until new habits have formed.

Do you do a newsletter or facebook page? You could mention that pick up and drop off need to be 5 minutes, etc.

[Sugar Magnolia]

"Ok you guys, I'm going to have to ask you to not do that when you come to pick up. It was kinda funny/cute at first, but it's really making the kids go nuts. I'm not into calming the chaos after you guys leave anymore. Thanks for understanding. "

Casual, over the shoulder, smile, turn your back, walk.


Or this to the kids "Ok guys, no jumping and screaming for Mr. and Mrs. Bonkers. Enough. Go!" Point in the other direction, walk them away.

I'd say "Can you all cut that out? It's driving me nuts." But that's me..

[originalkat]

I never, ever, ever let a parent touch someone else's child.

The liability issues are off the charts.

Most of you know this, but maybe some of you newer ones don't.......I used to let parents into the playroom, come by and help with parties, hang out and chat etc etc.

Until one day we found out that the dad who was always hanging around the most and enjoyed having little girls hang all over him, wasn't a great dad at all.

He was a sex offender who had done time for rape of a child in another state and got out for good behavior. Had kept it hidden, married and had a daughter (who he was abusing).

You can imagine the investigation when it came to light because his daughter told us what he was doing to her.

I was so naive to think he was a fun and involved father. My daycare was like sex offender Disneyland to this creep.

Now no parent is allowed in the play area at all during daycare hours. Kids are brought out to their parents.

Wow Meeko, I did not realize that! Do any parents question why they can not go into the playroom? Or is this something you address during the tour/interview process?

[originalkat]

If it were me, I would slightly change my routine so the kids were done cleaning up and doing a quiet activity when the parents got there. Also have dck ready with coat on and papers in hand. If they still start getting the kids riled up, immediately say something like, "Uh oh. We are having quiet activities right now kids. Say by to Rowdy. See you in the morning!"

[nannyde]

I would tell them you had a parent upset that they were in contact with their child. They don't know you and when they heard about the drop off and pick up activity with you they were upset. From now on, no contact physically or verbally with the kids.

[Meeko]

Wow Meeko, I did not realize that! Do any parents question why they can not go into the playroom? Or is this something you address during the tour/interview process?

Utah state rules say that parents must have access to see the areas their child is playing in at any time their child is in care.

If any parent brings that up, I would remind them that they have a right to see the AREA that THEIR child is in and not a right to spend time with the other kids. If they insisted on seeing the playroom, I would insist on removing the other kids in there first. NO parent has a right to be around someone else's child.

But it has never been a problem. Nobody had ever asked to go in the playroom. They see everything at interview and tour (always done after hours) My licensor says I am fine doing it my way and meet access requirements. No parent is ever denied access to their child. No parent has ever complained after hearing my reasons and actually LOVE the idea that an untold number of unknown adults are not hanging out with their kids.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'd make sure we weren't cleaning up when they came and have the child's shoes and socks on so he's ready to go. My entrance area is somewhat restricted with the door on one side and cubbies across on the other side, so when I don't want parents to come in too far I stand right across from the door, effectively blocking them in. They'd have to get in my face to go past, which most parents don't do.

If that doesn't work, I'd try a joke: "Hey, if you wind them up you're staying until they go home!" or "No fair winding them up then leaving them for me!"

[Checkinkids.com]

Seperate area

Sounds like you need a separate pick up / drop off / put on shoes and coats area. That's what worked for us. We had it in a different room from where the kids were.

[Unregistered]

I have it in my contract that pick up time has to be quick because I am attending to other children and it is the busiest part of my day. Parents send me a text when they are on their way (it's in my contract). I have their child ready in the foyer, and I hand them over at the door. I do not want parents coming in and distracting me and bringing in germs from work.