How to Teach Sympathy

[jenboo]

Im not sure if sympathy is the correct word or not, but I have a 2.7 year old who enjoys making other kids cry. He laughs and smiles if he succeeds.
He will hurt kids to get them to cry. He will take toys from them. He will scare the babies. He laugh if they are crying because they get hurt.
I cannot figure out a way to teach him that is isnt okay to make someone cry or to laugh at them. None of my ideas have worked so far.

[Michael]

You should speak with the parents about this. They should take him to a psychiatrist IMO.

[daycare]

Im not sure if sympathy is the correct word or not, but I have a 2.7 year old who enjoys making other kids cry. He laughs and smiles if he succeeds.
He will hurt kids to get them to cry. He will take toys from them. He will scare the babies. He laugh if they are crying because they get hurt.
I cannot figure out a way to teach him that is isnt okay to make someone cry or to laugh at them. None of my ideas have worked so far.

I agree with Michael.
I have one about the same age that does this too. BUT I know she does it becuase she is the youngest and everything that she does both good or bad her much older siblings luagh and think its cute. So do the parents.

When she does it, I say, NO, not funny you hurt my friend. I remove her from the child she took, hurt, etc and make sure I give the victim tons of attention.

Oh billy, susie hurt you, are you ok, give lots of hugs and holds. do not give the suspect any attention at all.

It drives all of my staff batty

[jenboo]

I agree with Michael.
I have one about the same age that does this too. BUT I know she does it becuase she is the youngest and everything that she does both good or bad her much older siblings luagh and think its cute. So do the parents.

When she does it, I say, NO, not funny you hurt my friend. I remove her from the child she took, hurt, etc and make sure I give the victim tons of attention.

Oh billy, susie hurt you, are you ok, give lots of hugs and holds. do not give the suspect any attention at all.

It drives all of my staff batty

I'll talk to the parents about this again. He is my hardest child by far. He is a negative attention seeker. He likes getting reactions out of others. Once I started ignoring the bad behaviors, he started to target the other kids and get reactions out of them.

[jenboo]

Totally forgot to add that this all started when I started ignoring his bad behavior.
Also, if a child who he didn't make cry is crying, he will try to comfort them (if he is in a good mood).
It's really strange .

I think I meant empathy not sympathy.

[Michael]

I think I meant empathy not sympathy.

Sympathy - feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
Empathy - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

[Blackcat31]

Im not sure if sympathy is the correct word or not, but I have a 2.7 year old who enjoys making other kids cry. He laughs and smiles if he succeeds.
He will hurt kids to get them to cry. He will take toys from them. He will scare the babies. He laugh if they are crying because they get hurt.
I cannot figure out a way to teach him that is isnt okay to make someone cry or to laugh at them. None of my ideas have worked so far.

I'll talk to the parents about this again. He is my hardest child by far. He is a negative attention seeker. He likes getting reactions out of others. Once I started ignoring the bad behaviors, he started to target the other kids and get reactions out of them.

Empathy is the word you are looking for

....and unfortunately kids don't master empathy or perspective thinking (realizing how others feel) until between the ages of 4-7 and sadly some adults have no empathy for others.

You have already identified the cause for this issue..DCB is a negative attention seeker. By doing what he is doing (hurting others) he is satisfying his need for attention.

It's fixable/reversible via role modeling, positive reinforcement and swift and immediate consequences that don't involve giving him attention for his actions. In these kinds of case, removal from the group or solo play works well and helps support the concept that others don't want to socialize with you if you are mean/hurtful etc. ALL pro-social behaviors.

If you google 'teaching empathy to toddlers' there are hundreds of site that will walk you through ideas and methods of curbing this type of behavior.

IMHO, it isn't serious and is not anything out of the ordinary...it's just a bad behavior that is or has been supported and reinforced somewhere along the way...whether purposely or inadvertently.

HTH