How To Make The Kids "Go Play"?

[Unregistered]

I don't know about you, but it is like kids these days can't go play. They constantly need me to play with them and refuse to play with peers or on their own. I have tried playing with them then backing away, but with this one dcg in particular, it seems like she wants ALL of the attention ALL the time and when I give an inch, she takes a mile. Today she even pouted and nearly cried when I was playing with another dcg. (Dcg2 never has time with me because dcg1 and her sister hog all my attention). I don't know what to do. Luckily they are leaving at the end of November, but I was wondering if you have any suggestions in the meantime or for future dcks?

When I was a kid, there was no way in heck a grown up would be entertaining me. Same goes for my husband, and any other 35+ person I have talked to about this.

I feel guilty for not playing/entertaining these kids because "it's my job", but come on already. When I was young, being raised by a single mother, our dc providers AKA babysitter weren't expected to play. They loved us, fed us and kept us safe. That was it, it was okay and, I as a child, didn't expect more. When and how did this change?

Lol. I guess my rant ended up with me having more than my original question. It's funny how that always seems to happen.

[craftymissbeth]

I just tell them "go play toys" and then immediately focus on something else. Over and over. They still slip up sometimes and start to hover, but all I have to say is "go play" and they run off without a fuss.

[daycare]

depending on their age...

2.5-5- I say go play toys., then go play, then play (thanks nannyde for that)

below 2.5 I often have to direct, engage and show them how to play with something first. After I have them engaged then I walk away and move on to something else, but still near by. If they come back to me, I will say go play with (whatever I just showed them) and take them back there, engage them and walk away, rinse and repeat. I might get lucky with just using words saying go play, most of the time in this age group I have to physically get up and take them to the toys, engage them.

I refuse to entertain kids all day long.

[sugar buzz]

Don't feel guilty. I used to work at a center where the director wanted us "playing" with the kids 24/7. I carried that mentality over in the first years of my home daycare--I created little monsters! They were needy and clingy and followed me around like ducklings, constantly looking to me for what to do next--it was just awful. And I received so much praise for it...from parents and neighbors, but I knew that I was doing a disservice to the kids. If you consistently lead them back to their toys, they will eventually get it. It just takes a LOT of repetition.

[Rockgirl]

When I was little, I went to an in-home daycare, and we never gave a second thought to where the provider was (watching soaps). These kids follow me around, and must know where I am at all times. It's especially true for my group when we're outside. They want to hover around me the entire time!

[nannyde]

It's unnatural for adults to play with children inho. Stop doing it. Make sure they have a reasonable amount of toys and space. Supervise them while they play. That's what I get paid to do. It would cost a TON of money to get me to play with kids. I wouldn't want to rob them of the gift of playing with other children and entertaining themselves. That's a blessing they deserve.

[Unregistered]

Do you guys ever tell the parents that you don't entertain their kids all day or do you keep it on the down low? How do you respond if ever confronted?

I agree, I don't get paid enough to play "Frozen" for hours on end or to "'tend this" or "'tend that". I am getting pretty sick of it.

[Soccermom]

I don't entertain the kids all day either but it took a long time to get to this point and last year was super rough!

I have two DGCs who are both only children and demanded my attention all day, every day. If I even walked out of the room for a minute, they were right behind me and asking me what I was doing. It drove me nuts! They could never seem to just engage in play. The older only child also has a teacher father who expected her to read and write before kindergarten so she honestly just did not know how to play.

I felt so mean telling them over and over to go play but in the end it was worth it because they actual play now and no longer require my constant entertainment.

I do crafts with them a couple times a week and I will take out different table activities at times. (Playdough, painting, felt boards, puzzles, coloring...) but for the most part they play while I do housework nearby or work on different projects I have going on.

I will engage in play with them sometimes because I am bored :: This afternoon I sat in my rocker with my tea and they all prepared meals for me at the play kitchen. I then babysat all their babies (and one newborn kitten) and was invited to visit their museum where they all worked. It was cute.

I think all you can do is set out lots of age appropriate toys, choose some great children's programming on TV once in awhile and constantly encourage them to go play. "Sorry Emma but Mrs. J is very busy today and can't play with you right now. You go ahead and play with your friends. " Over and over and over until they stop asking. That way when you do take a moment to spend some quality time with them, it is special and everyone enjoys it, including you

Mine still follow me around with dress up clothes so I can dress them up (I posted about that the other day) but I am going to take all the things they can't put on themselves and put them away so they can play more independently in the dress up corner.

The kids play way better when I am not hovering over them anyway, especially during outdoor play. As soon as I make myself visually invisible to them, they start to create all sorts of cute games but the moment I am again within sight the whole thing breaks up and they start begging me to push them on the swing or they will just randomly just walk around the yard.

My mother cared for children while I was growing up, as did my best friend's mother and neither women played with or entertained any of the kids. We all just watched sesame street, played with toys or played out in the yard together. We loved the freedom and tried to avoid drawing attention to ourselves so we could get into trouble in peace

As for the parents - I always try to be as honest as possible with them. If they asked me if I entertain the kids all day, I would laugh and say of course not because that is not healthy for them. They are becoming independent little beings and play better when they are left to their own devices. The smiles of the kids faces when they arrive in the morning and the fact that they don't want to go home at pick up should be enough to let them know that their children are just fine without me pretending to be a four year old again. I provide a safe, loving home where they are free to learn through play.

[Play Care]

Do you guys ever tell the parents that you don't entertain their kids all day or do you keep it on the down low? How do you respond if ever confronted?

I agree, I don't get paid enough to play "Frozen" for hours on end or to "'tend this" or "'tend that". I am getting pretty sick of it.

I do not tell the parents all I do each day, just as they don't tell me all about their work day. I DO tell them about THEIR child and his/her day.

I do not believe it's my job to play with the kids. My job is much more than that. But I do believe in setting up my environment to encourage play. When I have kids who are having difficulty playing I close off the play room and we go to provider chosen activities, with a timer. I sit at at the table - with "paperwork" supervising, and verbally redirecting if necessary. I DO have several times throughout the day where I will be involved in their activity/play, so I have no problems saying "it's not time for that, we are doing x, right now." I have a daily picture schedule that hangs on the board. I read through it each day at circle time. I even will point to what "time" it is so the kids have a visual reminder.

I find when I have individual kids asking me to play with them, it's usually because they are behaving badly and the other kids have shut them out. At that point I usually try to get them to realize why the other kids are not including them and work with them to change things up. I will not play with them as I do not want to reward poor behavior.

[Unregistered]

Today my dcks think go play means go fight. Thank gosh it's Friday!

[Soccermom]

Today my dcks think go play means go fight. Thank gosh it's Friday!

Mine started the day like that this morning too. I just put on some nice Christmas music and pulled out some Christmas coloring books and crayons. They are quiet as can be for now so I am going to head into the laundry room. I have a bin of train tracks that I will pull out later in case of emergency ::

Happy friday

[Blackcat31]

Do you guys ever tell the parents that you don't entertain their kids all day or do you keep it on the down low? How do you respond if ever confronted?

I agree, I don't get paid enough to play "Frozen" for hours on end or to "'tend this" or "'tend that". I am getting pretty sick of it.

This is foundational information during my interview.

I let parents know that I do NOT play WITH their child(ren).

My role is to provide, supervise and facilitate when necessary but I do NOT play with them. That is their job.

I have conversations with them and guide them through processes and activities when necessary but I won't get on the floor and play Barbie's or blocks.

I also straight up tell my DCF's that I will NOT participate in the "life is fair" lie. I will NOT teach their child that life is fair. I WILL however teach each child how to develop and maintain the skills they need to meet each of their individual needs. I personally think way too many kids are taught that everyone gets the same things and that everything is fair. Then once they get into the real world, they have zero coping skills because they don't understand why everything isn't fair.

Fair does NOT mean equal.

The last 3 families I enrolled in care, specifically chose my program based on that particular belief.

I am VERY honest with my DCF's and they are all aware of what I expect of them, their child and of myself and vice versa. They are all aware that I am not a playmate. I am their child's care provider and teacher.

There are 6-10 children here each day that are fantastic playmates and are more than willing to play with the other kids.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

I understand. We are at the point now where my DCK's are pretty good at playing themselves but I have one (3.5years) that needs acknowledgment for EVERY thing he does. Look, I got the car out of the basket! Look, the train drove off the table. Calls me from the other room to tell me he picked the blue crayon.

It seems that for some kids playing is not for having fun, for exploring or for learning. It is only a tool to please the adults around them.

[Soccermom]

It seems that for some kids playing is not for having fun, for exploring or for learning. It is only a tool to please the adults around them.

This!!