What would you do?

[Unregistered]

I have a family that I am so frustrated with. Signed contract says drop off is 6:30a and pick up is 5:30p. I think they stated those hours so that they'd have flexibility bc dcd's business causes him to drop off at different times during the morning. (which I did not know at interview. Never told me that.)
He is my only early drop off some days during the week so I'm opening up at 6:30 and then he doesn't show up for an hour or more. He does text me when he's on his way (I asked him to text me if he was going to be later than 6:30a) but lately it's anywhere between 6:30 and 8:00 and the text comes to me as he is leaving; not before 6:30. So I'm up and waiting essentially with no notice of late drop off at that time.

He also challenged a policy change yesterday that I had posted for parents at pick up. The notice was hung on the sign out sheet and each parent had to sign it. It stated that effective immediately, there was no pick ups allowed between 12:30-3:00 so that children's naps would not be disrupted with one child being picked up early. (The kids ALWAYS wake up when I go in to get one child up for an early pick up) This messes up my routine and disrupts their sleep! He didn't like that at all "What if I want to come pick up early?" ..... "Well, it disrupts the other children's nap times..." (Hello. He just read why!) As he gets dcg ready to go, he's still mumbling about it. It's not even his child that gets picked up early! I think he just wants to be in charge... (he owns a business) and thinks I'm another employee of his.

He tracked muddy footprints on my new carpet! When I mentioned it to him, he said something about how he'd tried getting mud off before entering. (He didn't. I watched him walk right in while he was still talking on his cell) "sorry."

This family doesn't feel like a good fit to me, but I've never termed anyone before... Am I being too picky? I'm becoming resentful... There are a few other annoyances that are also going on, but won't get into those.

Also, I don't know how to go about terming if I do! A letter handed to them? A conversation? How much do I explain? I want to just say "YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT. GOODBYE!" But that feels rude.
We have in our contract two weeks written notice required. They paid two weeks tuition at registration, so if they pull dcg immediately, I'm covered.

Also, I have a family wanting cc, so I have a replacement.
What would you do? I hate this part of the business. Love the dcg; frustrated with parents.

[Blackcat31]

I have a family that I am so frustrated with. Signed contract says drop off is 6:30a and pick up is 5:30p. I think they stated those hours so that they'd have flexibility bc dcd's business causes him to drop off at different times during the morning. (which I did not know at interview. Never told me that.)
He is my only early drop off some days during the week so I'm opening up at 6:30 and then he doesn't show up for an hour or more. He does text me when he's on his way (I asked him to text me if he was going to be later than 6:30a) but lately it's anywhere between 6:30 and 8:00 and the text comes to me as he is leaving; not before 6:30. So I'm up and waiting essentially with no notice of late drop off at that time.

Early drop offs that are late don't necessarily bother me as I charge parents according to the times they schedule so I would be paid for not watching their child.

I also have a rule that 3 late drop offs mandate a change in contract agreements so if they were consistently late dropping off at the time THEY scheduled, I would insist that the agreement be changed to reflect the time they are actually dropping off.


He also challenged a policy change yesterday that I had posted for parents at pick up. The notice was hung on the sign out sheet and each parent had to sign it. It stated that effective immediately, there was no pick ups allowed between 12:30-3:00 so that children's naps would not be disrupted with one child being picked up early. (The kids ALWAYS wake up when I go in to get one child up for an early pick up) This messes up my routine and disrupts their sleep! He didn't like that at all "What if I want to come pick up early?" ..... "Well, it disrupts the other children's nap times..." (Hello. He just read why!) As he gets dcg ready to go, he's still mumbling about it. It's not even his child that gets picked up early! I think he just wants to be in charge... (he owns a business) and thinks I'm another employee of his.

This part wouldn't bother me either but I would have said something to him about his lack of respect for your policies.

I would have said something like "DCD, as a self-employed business owner you certainly understand what it means to have rules/policies that are best for YOUR business. The new rule about not picking up during nap/rest time is one that is necessary for MY business and one that is NOT open to negotiation. Your only choice in this is to either agree to my policies or find alternate care that better suits your needs."

He tracked muddy footprints on my new carpet! When I mentioned it to him, he said something about how he'd tried getting mud off before entering. (He didn't. I watched him walk right in while he was still talking on his cell) "sorry."

This family doesn't feel like a good fit to me, but I've never termed anyone before... Am I being too picky? I'm becoming resentful... There are a few other annoyances that are also going on, but won't get into those.

Also, I don't know how to go about terming if I do! A letter handed to them? A conversation? How much do I explain? I want to just say "YOU'RE NOT A GOOD FIT. GOODBYE!" But that feels rude.
We have in our contract two weeks written notice required. They paid two weeks tuition at registration, so if they pull dcg immediately, I'm covered.

Also, I have a family wanting cc, so I have a replacement.
What would you do? I hate this part of the business. Love the dcg; frustrated with parents.

I replied to a couple points in bold above.

As for the rest of it, what do YOU want to do?

If you want to keep them, I'd tighten up your willingness to allow their actions to be so disruptive and start enforcing or creating some policies that support your need for change.

If you want to term them and move on with a family you feel is a better fit, then I would write them a notice stating the last day you are willing to provide care and that services are being terminated due to them not being a good fit.

Something short and to the point like this:

Dear DCF

This is written notice of cancellation of our child care services agreement. At this time, I do not feel that my program is a good fit for your families needs and feel that it is best that the contract be terminated.

The last day I am able to provide care to your child is on xxx, 2014. Your 2 week deposit paid at the time of enrollment will cover the final two weeks of care. Should you pull your child before the end date, your deposit will not be refunded.

I have enclosed the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referral agency to aid you in your search for care that better meets your needs.

Thank you

Provider

I think short and to the point is usually best. ESPECIALLY if you have a parent that thinks they get to be the one in charge.

I RARELY give personal reasons for terming. The only time I do, is if I truly believe the knowledge will help the family move on.

HTH

[Play Care]

I would do a generic term letter.

Dear DCP's

I regret to inform you that as of x date, I will no longer be able to provide child care services for your family. Should you need assistance finding new care, the Referral Agency can be reached at 1-800-NO-MORE. I have enjoyed caring for Timmy and will miss him!

Sincerely,

The BOSS

Keeping it simple and not listing reasons gives less ammunition and arguing points. Now, they will still be mad/annoyed whatever. No one likes to be told "no" and this is the ultimate "no." Also, give yourself a good line, so when they question why, you can use the line along with the broken record technique. Good luck!

[Play Care]

I replied to a couple points in bold above.

As for the rest of it, what do YOU want to do?

If you want to keep them, I'd tighten up your willingness to allow their actions to be so disruptive and start enforcing or creating some policies that support your need for change.

If you want to term them and move on with a family you feel is a better fit, then I would write them a notice stating the last day you are willing to provide care and that services are being terminated due to them not being a good fit.

Something short and to the point like this:

Dear DCF

This is written notice of cancellation of our child care services agreement. At this time, I do not feel that my program is a good fit for your families needs and feel that it is best that the contract be terminated.

The last day I am able to provide care to your child is on xxx, 2014. Your 2 week deposit paid at the time of enrollment will cover the final two weeks of care. Should you pull your child before the end date, your deposit will not be refunded.

I have enclosed the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referral agency to aid you in your search for care that better meets your needs.

Thank you

Provider

I think short and to the point is usually best. ESPECIALLY if you have a parent that thinks they get to be the one in charge.

I RARELY give personal reasons for terming. The only time I do, is if I truly believe the knowledge will help the family move on.

HTH

I posted at the same time::

[Indoorvoice]

Something short and to the point like this:

Dear DCF

This is written notice of cancellation of our child care services agreement. At this time, I do not feel that my program is a good fit for your families needs and feel that it is best that the contract be terminated.

The last day I am able to provide care to your child is on xxx, 2014. Your 2 week deposit paid at the time of enrollment will cover the final two weeks of care. Should you pull your child before the end date, your deposit will not be refunded.

I have enclosed the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referral agency to aid you in your search for care that better meets your needs.

Thank you

Provider

I think short and to the point is usually best. ESPECIALLY if you have a parent that thinks they get to be the one in charge.

I RARELY give personal reasons for terming. The only time I do, is if I truly believe the knowledge will help the family move on.

HTH

BC, do you just hand them the letter or do you say something before you give it to them or what? I'm going to have to term a good pt family in a few months for a ft family. I always think the letter sounds good, but I don't know what to say as I'm giving it to them. I think the op was wondering this too. Thanks!

[Play Care]

BC, do you just hand them the letter or do you say something before you give it to them or what? I'm going to have to term a good pt family in a few months for a ft family. I always think the letter sounds good, but I don't know what to say as I'm giving it to them. I think the op was wondering this too. Thanks!

Not BC, but my advice is to hand the letter to them as they are walking out the door with a "read this and let me know if you have questions." Then shut the door::

In all seriousness, I am no shrinking violet when it comes to confrontation, I have no issues using my back bone, saying no or whatever. But, you never know how people will take your news. And after my last term (which led to yelling in my entryway ) I've decided to go this route. Not because I care if they yell at me (though I'd nip that quick) but because it's very upsetting to any dck's that may still be here or my own kids who are here.

[Shell]

Not BC, but my advice is to hand the letter to them as they are walking out the door with a "read this and let me know if you have questions." Then shut the door::

In all seriousness, I am no shrinking violet when it comes to confrontation, I have no issues using my back bone, saying no or whatever. But, you never know how people will talk you news. And after my last term (which led to yelling in my entryway ) I've decided to go this route. Not because I care if they yell at me (though I'd nip that quick) but because it's very upsetting to any dck's that may still be here or my own kids who are here.

Good advice

[Blackcat31]

BC, do you just hand them the letter or do you say something before you give it to them or what? I'm going to have to term a good pt family in a few months for a ft family. I always think the letter sounds good, but I don't know what to say as I'm giving it to them. I think the op was wondering this too. Thanks!

Not BC, but my advice is to hand the letter to them as they are walking out the door with a "read this and let me know if you have questions." Then shut the door::

In all seriousness, I am no shrinking violet when it comes to confrontation, I have no issues using my back bone, saying no or whatever. But, you never know how people will talk you news. And after my last term (which led to yelling in my entryway ) I've decided to go this route. Not because I care if they yell at me (though I'd nip that quick) but because it's very upsetting to any dck's that may still be here or my own kids who are here.

I do exactly what Play Care said. (she knows me well lovethis)

I would definitely have a verbal discussion about it but refuse to do that in front of their child or any of the DCK's.

IMHO, I think that most parents you are terming know it's coming. If you as the provider feel they aren't a good fit, they feel it too. Whether they acknowledge it or not, I can't say but I fully believe that VERY few "bad fits" are really that blind that they aren't already aware of it.

I always hand them the letter as they are getting ready to walk out. I say "This is for you. It is not something I am willing to discuss now but would be happy to talk privately with you at a later date if you would like."

Then I leave it be. If they want to talk, I will (depending on the individual family) and if they simply take the news and not mention it again, I am good with that too.

The last family I termed never bothered to even attend the last two weeks and never even bothered to tell me they weren't coming. NOT my issue. It was theirs so I didn't take any of it personally.

HTH

[AuntTami]

Not BC, but my advice is to hand the letter to them as they are walking out the door with a "read this and let me know if you have questions." Then shut the door::

In all seriousness, I am no shrinking violet when it comes to confrontation, I have no issues using my back bone, saying no or whatever. But, you never know how people will take your news. And after my last term (which led to yelling in my entryway ) I've decided to go this route. Not because I care if they yell at me (though I'd nip that quick) but because it's very upsetting to any dck's that may still be here or my own kids who are here.

They YELLED at you? IN YOUR OWN HOME!? I would have flown off the handle and lost my mind. You don't yell at me period. ESPECIALLY in my own home!

Honestly, if you're already feeling resentment towards them, I would term. But, I'm the type of person that holds onto resentment whether or not the issue gets resolved.... I wouldn't deal with that kind of stress and drama.

As far as early goes, I agree with BC...Charge him for his whole contracted time, whether the child is there or not. If not, take a nap while you wait! A previous DCG had the same schedule. Some days she would be here at 5:30, sometimes not until 8:00 and I'd get a text when they were pulling onto my street!... I'd go to sleep on the couch until I got the text that said they were coming, and then I'd get up and get the day started.... It used to get on my very last nerve though because I'd rather have been snuggled in my warm bed!