I don't want to be in the middle

[Unregistered]

Logged out just in case .
Long and confusing story and situation , dcm & dcd are not together.

About 2 months ago dcd asked about who is authorized to pick up dcg. I told him the people you authorized and signed to approve when you signed the contract . Dcd has now decided that he no longer wants dcm's boyfriend on the pick up list . I told him that is between him & dcm to straighten out as I do not want to be in the middle . I can give them a new form but they need to work it out and both sign . A month later dcd asks for a new form so I give him one , I remind him they both need to sign the form as they are both on the contract . A week later dcm brings the form back and guess what , she filled in the boyfriends name again . Now I know that dcd does not want him to pick up his dd , so when he picks up I told him to look over the form before he signs off and gets his copy . He of course sees the name of the boyfriend and is mad . I gave him another blank form and told him this is the last form I will give and they need to work it out . I get the form back and the boyfriends name is not on it .

Fast forward to last week . I get a text from dcm saying her sister was supposed to pick up dcg but now can't so she is giving permission for her boyfriend to pick up dcg . I text back sorry , I can't allow him to pick up unless I also get permission from dcd as the boyfriend is not an approved pick up person . I do not hear back for over 30 minutes . And now I am getting mad because she knows the dcd does not want the boyfriend to pick up , and yet she wants me to do it anyway . I was dreading to think what I would have to do if the boyfriend did come .
I get a call 30 minutes before pick up from the grandmother saying she is picking up dcg . Now I have to text back both parents to find out if this is really what they both agreed to . G-mom picking up is fine since she is on the pick up list , but you never know with all their drama .

I decided I would term if the boyfriend did show up . This is just something I do not need to be in the middle of and shouldn't be . I am advertising to try and replace but things are slow with new clients .

[Blackcat31]

Logged out just in case .
Long and confusing story and situation , dcm & dcd are not together.

About 2 months ago dcd asked about who is authorized to pick up dcg. I told him the people you authorized and signed to approve when you signed the contract . Dcd has now decided that he no longer wants dcm's boyfriend on the pick up list . I told him that is between him & dcm to straighten out as I do not want to be in the middle . I can give them a new form but they need to work it out and both sign . A month later dcd asks for a new form so I give him one , I remind him they both need to sign the form as they are both on the contract . A week later dcm brings the form back and guess what , she filled in the boyfriends name again . Now I know that dcd does not want him to pick up his dd , so when he picks up I told him to look over the form before he signs off and gets his copy . He of course sees the name of the boyfriend and is mad . I gave him another blank form and told him this is the last form I will give and they need to work it out . I get the form back and the boyfriends name is not on it .

Fast forward to last week . I get a text from dcm saying her sister was supposed to pick up dcg but now can't so she is giving permission for her boyfriend to pick up dcg . I text back sorry , I can't allow him to pick up unless I also get permission from dcd as the boyfriend is not an approved pick up person . I do not hear back for over 30 minutes . And now I am getting mad because she knows the dcd does not want the boyfriend to pick up , and yet she wants me to do it anyway . I was dreading to think what I would have to do if the boyfriend did come .
I get a call 30 minutes before pick up from the grandmother saying she is picking up dcg . Now I have to text back both parents to find out if this is really what they both agreed to . G-mom picking up is fine since she is on the pick up list , but you never know with all their drama .

I decided I would term if the boyfriend did show up . This is just something I do not need to be in the middle of and shouldn't be . I am advertising to try and replace but things are slow with new clients .

If the parents have joint custody neither one can dictate who is or isn't allowed to pick up.

Each of them have a right to designate anyone they wish to pick up on their behalf.

The deciding factor here would be what the court papers say as to WHO has custody or pick up rights on xx days.

If dad is court ordered to have DCK on Tuesdays for example, he can send ANYONE he chooses to pick up and mom can't say a thing about it (unless it's specified in the custody/visitation agreement).

Hope that makes sense.

[Play Care]

If the parents have joint custody neither one can dictate who is or isn't allowed to pick up.

Each of them have a right to designate anyone they wish to pick up on their behalf.

The deciding factor here would be what the court papers say as to WHO has custody or pick up rights on xx days.

If dad is court ordered to have DCK on Tuesdays for example, he can send ANYONE he chooses to pick up and mom can't say a thing about it (unless it's specified in the custody/visitation agreement).

Hope that makes sense.

This.
I also wouldn't be calling/texting to see if everyone is okay with grandma picking up. Not my business or problem.

[Controlled Chaos]

When I have parents with shared custody I give them the option to have one parent do the contract (usually mom) and she is responsible for payments and forms etc then Dad can reimburse her OR they each have their own contract and are responsible for their days. Its a little more paperwork, but keeping it separate and treating them like completely seperate families has kept things simple.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

If the parents have joint custody neither one can dictate who is or isn't allowed to pick up.

Each of them have a right to designate anyone they wish to pick up on their behalf.

The deciding factor here would be what the court papers say as to WHO has custody or pick up rights on xx days.

If dad is court ordered to have DCK on Tuesdays for example, he can send ANYONE he chooses to pick up and mom can't say a thing about it (unless it's specified in the custody/visitation agreement).

Hope that makes sense.

Yes, this! It makes life a lot simpler.

[melilley]

If the parents have joint custody neither one can dictate who is or isn't allowed to pick up.

Each of them have a right to designate anyone they wish to pick up on their behalf.

The deciding factor here would be what the court papers say as to WHO has custody or pick up rights on xx days.

If dad is court ordered to have DCK on Tuesdays for example, he can send ANYONE he chooses to pick up and mom can't say a thing about it (unless it's specified in the custody/visitation agreement).

Hope that makes sense.

I had a similar situation and called licensing. They told me that both dcm and dcd could put whom ever they wanted to pick up, on the pick up list.

[daycarediva]

When I have parents with shared custody I give them the option to have one parent do the contract (usually mom) and she is responsible for payments and forms etc then Dad can reimburse her OR they each have their own contract and are responsible for their days. Its a little more paperwork, but keeping it separate and treating them like completely seperate families has kept things simple.

This is how I handle it, too.

I have two families right now that separated while enrolled.

1. Separate contracts. DCM and DCD pick up/pay for different days.
2. DCM signed the contract, she gets her portion of DCD's payment from him.

[Country Kids]

I had a similar situation and called licensing. They told me that both dcm and dcd could put whom ever they wanted to pick up, on the pick up list.

Very true!

Its because they aren't going to change the court papers every time the parents change pick up people. Costs alot of money to do that.

If mom or dad have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every few months I'm sure the courts would have a hard time changing paper work and having a judge authorize it.

My husband worked in the domestic courts and paperwork takes awhile-it can take quite a while to get things filed/on judges desk/approved and then back to processing.

Also, alot of people that have children together and then seperate, alot aren't married and don't have the "paperwork" for all the legal stuff. Most don't go to court on this kinda stuff.

Where these parents ever married?