Need a Solution

[Unregistered]

Any ideas on how to get 4 yr old dcg to listen and follow rules? We talk about the same rules every day and every day, she doesn't listen.

I've tried time out, I've tried rewards, I've tried taking away privileges, I talk to the parents about it every day. I've even tried just talking to her about it and explaining why we have rules and what rules are to be followed. I get a blank stare or she just looks around the room while I'm talking or she laughs.

They aren't unreasonable rules...no fighting, no running in the house, no stomping on toys...etc.

I honestly don't know how to make her understand that when she is here, she has to follow my rules and listen to what I say. There are very few (if any) boundaries at her house, so she doesn't respect authority and I'm sure that's why I'm having a problem.

[Indoorvoice]

I have a very similar dcb4. What has worked for me is starting out every day with a handful of toys that I deem appropriate for him and I have him stay in his own separate area still in the daycare area, but away from where everyone else is playing. Once he is doing a good job there, he earns the privilege of using my better toys and joining the other kids. As soon as he starts breaking rules, he goes right back to his area. I don't even get into explaining rules or giving him warnings anymore. He is 4 and knows them and its a game to see what he can get away with. I just refuse to play the game. Break the rules = play by yourself with "little kid toys".

[Leigh]

Take away her privileges. ALL of them. Have her earn each one back with good behavior. Start out with keeping her next to you all day-no playing with other kids, no special games, no TV (if you use it), no books read to her-nothing. Each day or two that she behaves herself, give one privilege back. Back up and remove that last privilege if her behavior backslides. It's the easiest way for me to convince a child of that age to follow our rules.

[Josiegirl]

I came peeking in here wondering what the heck a splution is. Then I realized my screen seriously needs a cleaning. It's funny how the built-up crud affects your ability to see things.

I will just share what has worked a bit better for me. I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg who doesn't listen to me very well. She is the strongest-willed child I've ever had to deal with, a real tester of all things. But I'll offer up something I'm learning with this one in particular. Most everything I say to her goes in one ear and gets completely ignored. She knows the rules. I don't need to repeat them a zillion times. If she's running, I'll say loud and firm No Running. If she doesn't stop, she sits down right where she is. If she's jumping on the couch 'Couches are for sitting'. Doesn't listen, off the couch. If she takes a toy, I ask her once to give it back. If not then she gets some help from me.
Repeat the rule once, maybe she's just not thinking at the moment. But if she doesn't do as asked, remove her immediately and sit her down. I've always been one to give warnings, 'if you do that one more time I'm gonna....' It wasn't working. At all. Now I make my request once, a short sentence, then I dive in. I've also found if I talk too much to her she stops listening. And try to avoid showing any emotion. That is a hard one for me. I get frustrated easily because from my viewpoint I'm thinking 'why AREN'T they remembering our rule??'