Mom Wants List of "Challenges/Concerns"

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

I would be careful about this. It could be turned around that your home is not safe...coins and small articles left around where children can reach them and possibly choke.

I am not saying this is the case, we know kids find things, some bring them in their pockets! Just saying mom or licensing may think otherwise

Maybe word it such as "I do my best to make sure the environment is safe, however xxxx has been putting everything in his mouth..."

Thank you. I definitely would not word it like that to her. That is a good point.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

Do not include anything about being non verbal in writing as a reason. That would be discrimination and you can be sued. DO give her these reasons that you stated and how because you are the only one you can not supervise closely enough to prevent the danger from choking with him getting older .
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Good point. The lack of verbal communication is not a reason that I would terminate their childcare in itself but the lack of verbal and non-verbal communication leads to bigger issues that I do not have the man power to deal with on top of all of the other children in my care.

If I do end up writing anything up for it I will leave that part out so it cannot be interpreted as me discriminating against him.

[hope]

What does NannyDe say? "That is not a service I provide"

On a more serious note, it sounds to me like she's planning on a discrimination case. I wouldn't write anything down except that he isn't a fit for your group care.

I agree with this. You have already told her how her child has been in your care. Did she forget? I doubt it. You did your job. Your job is now done. If she needs to know where her child falls short than she can get him evaluated and a professional in that field can write something for her. I really think her motive here is a law suit.

[kitykids3]

Yup, definitely sounds like a trap. I would not be writing ANYTHING down other than your program and he were not a fit and some numbers for local agencies. Honestly though, at this point, they are leaving or have left, so I personally wouldn't take the time to write anything down when you've already discussed everything with her. If she really is concerned, she can bring it up with his doc and get help moving forward. I can't think of any real good reason she needs that all in writing.

[daycarediva]

Do not include anything about being non verbal in writing as a reason. That would be discrimination and you can be sued. DO give her these reasons that you stated and how because you are the only one you can not supervise closely enough to prevent the danger from choking with him getting older .


He is aggressive with the other kids and the final straw was that he has started trying to swallow things around my house - coins, rocks, art supplies including but not limited to the tips of all my markers, the corners of my foam floor mats etc.

I would be careful about this. It could be turned around that your home is not safe...coins and small articles left around where children can reach them and possibly choke.

I am not saying this is the case, we know kids find things, some bring them in their pockets! Just saying mom or licensing may think otherwise

Maybe word it such as "I do my best to make sure the environment is safe, however xxxx has been putting everything in his mouth..."

I agree.

IF I gave her something, it would be JUST the standard form I give to everyone I terminate. I would cite increasing safety concerns- hitting, biting and leave it at that.

NOTHING about delays or suspected developmental issues, and that's most certainly discrimination.

[Cat Herder]

If he only does these things at your house she has no reason to be even slightly concerned. It's definitely the environment not the kid. ;-)

THIS is the only saving grace that is left for us.

Everything else will become our respon$ibility without this clause.

Learn it, embrace it and hope it lasts another year or two.

Pretty soon terminating a bad fit will be considered emotional abuse or neglectful of families needs. We are halfway there..... It is currently "unprofessional".

[hope]

I would also print out any emails and texts you have had with the family. You can download a free app to print out texts. This way you have proof in case she does as PP said.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

I agree.

IF I gave her something, it would be JUST the standard form I give to everyone I terminate. I would cite increasing safety concerns- hitting, biting and leave it at that.

NOTHING about delays or suspected developmental issues, and that's most certainly discrimination.

I have already given her a letter saying I was terminating the child care arrangement. What she was asking for was specific challenges and concerns I had with him while in my care so she "would know." Me being CONCERNED about his speech development is not discrimination. But I could see how it could be twisted. It would be different if she was asking for such a list BEFORE I gave her 2 weeks notice.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

I think I have decided to "forget" to make the list for now since she has not brought it back up and his last day is tomorrow. If she does bring it up I am going to just verbally tell her I was concerned with the aggressive behavior towards the other children and that my child care is not set up in a way that allows me to give him the supervision he needs to keep him from putting objects in his mouth while still giving the other children the attention they need as well. If she asks for anymore than that I will just say that she is aware of anything else because I have brought up any other issues as they arose.

[JoseyJo]

I think I have decided to "forget" to make the list for now since she has not brought it back up and his last day is tomorrow. If she does bring it up I am going to just verbally tell her I was concerned with the aggressive behavior towards the other children and that my child care is not set up in a way that allows me to give him the supervision he needs to keep him from putting objects in his mouth while still giving the other children the attention they need as well. If she asks for anymore than that I will just say that she is aware of anything else because I have brought up any other issues as they arose.

Even though she says "list of concerns" it sounds to me like what she really wants is a list of the reasons on why YOU are concerned enough to term. If you say you are concerned about his speech, developmental problems, etc, it may look like you are terming for those reasons even when you are not, and it may look like you are either not providing proper supervision, or that you are discriminating. If she truely wants a "list of concerns" then she would have asked before you termed, and/or she can bring you a dr's eval worksheet.

IF it were me, I verbally tell her your reasons for terming. I Anything you say about your setup/supervision/etc and his needs opens you up to problems, and licensing could easily say you are in the wrong. (IMO)

If she says again that she needs a written list of your concerns about his development I would say "Sure! I can do that. When you go to have him evaluated the dr/therapist/etc will have a form for caregivers to fill out, bring that to me and I will be happy to fill it out." If she says "no, I just want it for me", I would say "oh okay... the aggression is the reason that I had to have you find other arrangements, but a few things I noticed that you may want to look into are his (insert your concerns about non-verbal, rocking, mouthing, etc). If she asks you to write it all down I would say "Why? are you taking this to a dr to have him evaluated?" (No) "Okay then, it isn't a ton of things to remember- nonverbal, rocking, mouthing..." (Big smile)

[Thriftylady]

I agree I wouldn't do it either. IF she had brought me the forms from the doctor for screening for things, I would have filled them out and returned them for her to take to the doctor. But that isn't even what she is doing now. The doctor doesn't want a list, they have their own forms for these things (did them on DD when she was little the thing was all the negative stuff was happening at home and none at school so it was a parent issue ). Likely this is a parenting issue also, but the parents don't believe it yet. I honestly would just say "I have already discussed it with you and that's all I can do".

[christine19720]

I would tell mom that I am not open to rediscussing the termination. I would however provide numbers to local resources to have her child evaluated. Professionals can help her figure out if his behaviors are normal for his age or if further attention is needed. I would end with "It is very possible that I was not the right fit for his needs but on the other hand, professionals will be able to appropriately evaluate his milestones as well as decide what, if any, measures and resources may be available to him"

I like this.