Mom Wants List of "Challenges/Concerns"

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

Don't give her the chance to use it for any bad intentions she may have.

"DCM, I'd be happy to give my challenges, concerns and issues to either your pediatrician or their nurse so that they can have him evaluated. I'm glad you are one of the responsible parents out there, rather than one who just ignores these issues when experienced professionals like myself see so many warning signs. Please have them call me during business hours or they can mail/fax me a form to complete for his much needed screening."

But she has not said that she planned on bringing them to her doctor or for screening. Just that "she should know these things."

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

It would be no problem for me if I thought that the information was going to be used for a doctor or screening but I don't even want to bring it up at this point because they have been very clear before about it being a non-issue.

[Unregistered]

Maybe a progress report would work. The CDC has guidelines of what to expect at different ages, you could use that as your reference. I would use specific language from their handouts, nothing else. The other part of me says why bother?! If they aren't concerned, and the child is leaving, I would just say something like, "I'm very busy with paperwork at this time. My concerns are x,y,z if you would like to write them down yourself. I would not bend over backwards if you feel they aren't going to use your list with good intentions.

I think it's smart to give her a brief verbal list like Shell said, and then let them know that if they address concerns to their doctor or school system, they should get a full evaluation.
*BIG SMILE* And leave it at that.

[nannyde]

Tell her that the concerns are specifically what you have talked to her about. If she would like to write these concerns up and gave you review and sign, you are willing to do that as long as there isn't a need to discuss. You will review them after the child's last day and mail your response within a week.

Put it back on HER.

If she says she can't remember, tell her you can't either. If he only does these things at your house she has no reason to be even slightly concerned. It's definitely the environment not the kid. ;-)

[Hunni Bee]

No, that sounds like a trap of some sort to me too. If she feels like there are no concerns, then what is she asking for? If she is concerned, then why now all of a sudden? If you've told her verbally, then she has that info.

I would do as the others said and provide her with the numbers of where he can be evaluated, but I wouldn't discuss with her any further nor provide her with any written documents that could come back to bite you.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

If she says she can't remember, tell her you can't either. If he only does these things at your house she has no reason to be even slightly concerned. It's definitely the environment not the kid. ;-)

Hahaha :: I wish I could say this to her.

[Littlehouse-Lotsofkids]

No, that sounds like a trap of some sort to me too. If she feels like there are no concerns, then what is she asking for? If she is concerned, then why now all of a sudden? If you've told her verbally, then she has that info.

I would do as the others said and provide her with the numbers of where he can be evaluated, but I wouldn't discuss with her any further nor provide her with any written documents that could come back to bite you.

I'm glad, at least, that I am not just being paranoid... or maybe childcare has made us all a bit paranoid? Regardless, I am not alone in feeling like this could go wrong.

[CraftyMom]

Nope! Don't do it! I had a mom that asked specifics in a text, I was thinking she was wanting to help the situation. Nope, she brought the text to licensing, who in turn paid me a visit. Mom deleted HER parts of the text, making it look way different than it was. It made me look bad in licensing's eyes. She also deleted the parts that stated things I had been doing over the past few months to correct certain behaviors, and back and forth conversations on the situation and how we would work together to change the behaviors. She picked and chose words, creating a whole different conversation. Luckily I still had ALL of it in my phone!

That was when I was very new, now I know differently.

Do not put it in writing for her. She has ill intent

[Second Home]

I also think this may be a sort of trap . A way to place blame on you for something .

[AmyKidsCo]

ITA that writing a list could come back to haunt you. I'd simply say that he's not a good fit for your program and leave it at that.

[cheerfuldom]

Nope. I would not do any extra work for a former daycare parent especially when there is no evaluation involved. My guess would be that she is collecting info to use against you in a licensing or CPS complaint. Do not give her anything in writing.

Again, I would tell her that you are not open to rediscussing the termination. Suggest she have her new caregiver document his behavior as it is possible that what you experienced with him was due to environment. He may be completely different at the next place.

Just be vague and do not commit to anything in writing! If she really cared about this in order to help him, why was she not concerned when you had discussions BEFORE termination?

[Dilley Beans]

What does NannyDe say? "That is not a service I provide"

On a more serious note, it sounds to me like she's planning on a discrimination case. I wouldn't write anything down except that he isn't a fit for your group care.

[TaylorTots]

But she has not said that she planned on bringing them to her doctor or for screening. Just that "she should know these things."

Right but by this way, you are not failing the child in your mind at all. If you offer to give them to the professionals, you aren't withholding any information that may help this child be evaluated. I'd give the "not the service I provide to you" bit but you would be happy to send them to the pediatricians' office for his much needed evaluation/screening.

[itlw8]

Do not include anything about being non verbal in writing as a reason. That would be discrimination and you can be sued. DO give her these reasons that you stated and how because you are the only one you can not supervise closely enough to prevent the danger from choking with him getting older .


He is aggressive with the other kids and the final straw was that he has started trying to swallow things around my house - coins, rocks, art supplies including but not limited to the tips of all my markers, the corners of my foam floor mats etc.

[CraftyMom]

He is aggressive with the other kids and the final straw was that he has started trying to swallow things around my house - coins, rocks, art supplies including but not limited to the tips of all my markers, the corners of my foam floor mats etc.

I would be careful about this. It could be turned around that your home is not safe...coins and small articles left around where children can reach them and possibly choke.

I am not saying this is the case, we know kids find things, some bring them in their pockets! Just saying mom or licensing may think otherwise

Maybe word it such as "I do my best to make sure the environment is safe, however xxxx has been putting everything in his mouth..."