How To Bring Up New Habit With Parent

[Unregistered]

One of my daycare kids has been struggling with acts of aggression, but we are making progress. A new habit started last week.

Once she for example shoves she then hollers that the child she shoved, shoved her. When I explain that it was her that shoved, she then hollers no that some other random child in the room shoved, hit, etc.

Today she excitedly declared someone else bit. She had not bitten, nor had anyone bitten her as no one was near her. When I asked what happen she said one of the other kids bit her in the face. Not the kind of stories that I want going home, and I also do not want this behavior to escalate.

She will be three in a few weeks.

Any advice on how to bring this up with her mom?

[Hunni Bee]

I. Have. This. SAME. Kid!!

I was just about to post a plea for prayers to help me keep my sanity, because I work at a center and I can't term, and this child is getting more and more aggressive by the day.

Another child was riding a tricycle. Dcb walked up behind him and pushed the tricycle so hard that it jerked forward, causing the other boy to fall face-first off of it. Mind you this other kid was twice the dcb's size...that's how hard he pushed it.

When I went to remove him from the playground so I could talk to him, he started screaming that the dcb on the bike pushed him. But I saw the whole thing, and the other dcb had merely rode past him. He went into complete meltdown mode - he has no concept that he should not be able to hurt other children and that there's consequences for it.

He does this every time he hurts someone else, which is literally every five minutes. He'll just walk into the crowd of kids and knock each one down one by one. And this kid is 35 pounds soaking wet, so he has to use all his strength to do it. My other kids are sweet, they will not hurt him back or even tell on him most of the time...which burns me up because they have to just endure it because I can't catch him every time. And his parents have agreed to have him evaluated so all bets are off until that happens...meanwhile he's just getting worse.

[Hunni Bee]

But about your dcg: (sorry to hijack)

It's an attention-seeking behavior. I would tell mom about what you've seen and let her know that the majority of these incidents have not been actually happening. I would also deal with dcg as blandly as possible when she hurts (no facial expression, boring voice, straight to consequences) so that she sees that she will get no payoff for her doing it or saying others have done it - only undesirable consequences.

:hug:

[Unregistered]

You were not hijacking just sharing similar troubles

Thank you.

[therov]

I usually wait until the habit has existed for about a week, just to make sure it's not just a blip. I then tell the parent about the behavior I observe and say that they should be aware this may happen at home too. It may have been happening at home/on weekends already, but the parent hasn't told me about it; telling the parent reinforces the need for two-way communication so that the li'l darlin's don't turn into unbearable monsters. And it tells the parent a little about the behaviors you expect of your daycare kids--some parents write off bad behaviors at home because they're too tired or don't want to reprimand the kids after not seeing them all day. communicating about behaviors--good and bad--lets you share the responsibility with the parents.