I Can't Stand Getting Calls From People Who Can't Speak Properly

[Annalee]

Yes, she said the incorrect use of English, but I think she means the 'intentional' incorrect use of English grammar and the rude tone people sometimes use.

How does a person know if correct/incorrect English is intentional or not? To say a person "can't say one sentence without incorrect grammar" then to go on and clarify by saying "I am not high and mighty but I can speak properly" further expresses her annoyance with incorrect grammar....just more clarification next time is the moral of the story because my first thoughts was my heritage and our intentional/unintentional use of English grammar

[NightOwl]

I totally get that, Annalee. I can definitely see where you could interpret it that way. I'm trying to be pc when I say 'intentionally' use bad grammar. :: But I think I'm failing at that. There is a certain demographic that uses heavy slang even if they had 12 years of English/grammar throughout school, kwim? It's intentional, I think, in order to fit in with others in their demographic.

[CraftyMom]

Yes, she said the incorrect use of English, but I think she means the 'intentional' incorrect use of English grammar and the rude tone people sometimes use.

I took it to mean slang and rude tone, but reading it again I can see the confusion.

I think the rude tone is most annoying and by the time the phone call is over I've already decided I won't interview with them.

[Angelsj]

How does a person know if correct/incorrect English is intentional or not? To say a person "can't say one sentence without incorrect grammar" then to go on and clarify by saying "I am not high and mighty but I can speak properly" further expresses her annoyance with incorrect grammar....just more clarification next time is the moral of the story because my first thoughts was my heritage and our intentional/unintentional use of English grammar

Every language contains certain patterns of speech. Just as an example, a Spanish speaking person would say, la palota verde, translating into "the ball green." When you hear certain structures of language, it is very easy to understand that the person is speaking English as a second language.

OP isn't talking about people who speak English as a second language. She is discussing native English speakers who are rude, lazy and never bothered to learn to speak to the population at large. If you want to pull yourself up out of the ghetto, first you must learn to speak to the rest of the world properly. You are not going to get anywhere speaking "ghetto" except for low paid jobs in ghetto areas.

[permanentvacation]

I was trying to be nice about it when I first stated my post. I was trying to say what I wanted to say in a way that would not hurt people's feelings. But I obviously didn't do that well.

It just boils down to the fact that I am not doing well at fitting in with the lower income area that I moved to and that I really need to find a way to move to better area.

It has nothing to do with nationality. It has to do with lack of education and lack of (in my opinion) being raised properly. Therefore, yes, my initial post has to do with me not being able to stand answering the phone to have an adult on the other end speak to me as if they were a 15 year old ghetto kid.

Around here, the 40 year old grown adults talk and carry themselves like the 15 year old hood rats. I feel like I live in the inner city. The other day, I was at the shopping center walking on the sidewalk going from one store to another. Behind me, I heard a couple of males yelling. I couldn't distinguish what they were saying. Then, all of the sudden, another male came walking quickly towards me (and towards the loud males) and as he passed me, I heard him announce loudly, "I gon' kick his a$$" I turned around and (thank God he had gone far enough past me not to hear me) and without realizing that I actually was speaking out loud, said, 'You're a grown man." The man must have been in his 30's. Then I looked at the males who were yelling and realized that they were all grown men and all of them looked to be between 28 and 30 years old. I have never seen so many 'adults' behave so immaturely in any other area I have lived.

So, when I receive a call from someone who speaks 'hood rat/ghetto' to me, I initially think, 'Good grief, she can't even speak English correctly.' And then I imagine that her children will most likely speak the way she does and I will be constantly correcting their grammar all day long but knowingly not getting anywhere with teaching them to speak properly because they will go home to their parents of whom will speak ghetto to them all night and weekend long. Typically, with the ghetto language also comes the ghetto behavior from the parents and children. With the ghetto behavior, comes the parents cussing you out (like my parent who, as recently as October 1st, cussed out my assistant because I went to the hospital in the middle of the night), not showing up to daycare on time, not being able to pay in full or on time, often the parents being involved in drugs, often the one or both parents having a criminal history, etc. The children's behavior often reflects the parents' behavior with the children being rude, cussing (I've actually had 2 and 3 year olds cuss at the other children and at me!) The children use all the words correctly just as their parents do. As young as 2 and 3, if someone takes their toy, they will say, "Bi**h, gimme it back", or If I correct them for something, they will look at me and say, "F**k you!". Now, of course, not all of the kids are like that, but way too many are!

So, when I answer the phone and hear someone speaking ghetto to me, I envision ALL of the above situations and honestly just try to get them off of my phone as quickly as possible.

[NightOwl]

I was trying to be nice about it when I first stated my post. I was trying to say what I wanted to say in a way that would not hurt people's feelings. But I obviously didn't do that well.

It just boils down to the fact that I am not doing well at fitting in with the lower income area that I moved to and that I really need to find a way to move to better area.

It has nothing to do with nationality. It has to do with lack of education and lack of (in my opinion) being raised properly. Therefore, yes, my initial post has to do with me not being able to stand answering the phone to have an adult on the other end speak to me as if they were a 15 year old ghetto kid.

Around here, the 40 year old grown adults talk and carry themselves like the 15 year old hood rats. I feel like I live in the inner city. The other day, I was at the shopping center walking on the sidewalk going from one store to another. Behind me, I heard a couple of males yelling. I couldn't distinguish what they were saying. Then, all of the sudden, another male came walking quickly towards me (and towards the loud males) and as he passed me, I heard him announce loudly, "I gon' kick his a$$" I turned around and (thank God he had gone far enough past me not to hear me) and without realizing that I actually was speaking out loud, said, 'You're a grown man." The man must have been in his 30's. Then I looked at the males who were yelling and realized that they were all grown men and all of them looked to be between 28 and 30 years old. I have never seen so many 'adults' behave so immaturely in any other area I have lived.

So, when I receive a call from someone who speaks 'hood rat/ghetto' to me, I initially think, 'Good grief, she can't even speak English correctly.' And then I imagine that her children will most likely speak the way she does and I will be constantly correcting their grammar all day long but knowingly not getting anywhere with teaching them to speak properly because they will go home to their parents of whom will speak ghetto to them all night and weekend long. Typically, with the ghetto language also comes the ghetto behavior from the parents and children. With the ghetto behavior, comes the parents cussing you out (like my parent who, as recently as October 1st, cussed out my assistant because I went to the hospital in the middle of the night), not showing up to daycare on time, not being able to pay in full or on time, often the parents being involved in drugs, often the one or both parents having a criminal history, etc. The children's behavior often reflects the parents' behavior with the children being rude, cussing (I've actually had 2 and 3 year olds cuss at the other children and at me!) The children use all the words correctly just as their parents do. As young as 2 and 3, if someone takes their toy, they will say, "Bi**h, gimme it back", or If I correct them for something, they will look at me and say, "F**k you!". Now, of course, not all of the kids are like that, but way too many are!

So, when I answer the phone and hear someone speaking ghetto to me, I envision ALL of the above situations and honestly just try to get them off of my phone as quickly as possible.

Preach it. If it looks like a duck and it walks like a duck, it must be a duck. And it's ducklings will likely grow up to be ducks.

[permanentvacation]

I think it's just that I don't fit into this area. I have seen things that I used to think only happen on television shows. I have seen weapons (guns- many guns) be unloaded off of the back of a box truck. They were being unloaded and taken into the house of the biggest drug dealers' in my neighborhood. That was a little further down the road and a couple of years ago before I moved to my current home. In my current home, my neighbors used to sell drugs, snakes, and mice from their house. They told me that they had about 100 snakes in their home at one time. A few weeks ago, when I was leaving my neighborhood to get my daughter from her boyfriend's house, I was driving down the main road of my neighborhood and was just 3 blocks away from the end of my neighborhood. I saw a group of teenagers on the left of the street who were yelling at a man in a truck who had just parked his truck on the right of the street. Then the teenage boys (probably about 20 of them) started walking into the traffic towards the man in the truck, still yelling at him. The man in the truck got out of his truck, turned around to his driver's seat, reached in, and then turned around towards the group of teenagers, shaking a machete at them! He started chasing them through the open field!
I decided that instead of continuing down the main road, I would turn down the alley and go around the block! Scenes like those are typical around here and therefore, that mannerism and behaviorism is typical of the people I have to work with! I just can't get used to those type of people. This area is definitely NOT for me!

[CraftyMom]

How is it going with trying to move? Hearing you describe the neighborhood I'm now leaning toward someone being in your home as opposed to a ghost

[permanentvacation]

I just checked my twitter account (my daycare baby - the only child I have - is asleep right now, so I am on the computer) anyway, so I just checked my twitter account where I am a 'friend' of the local news station and police department. Someone was just shot about an hour ago just 5 minutes away from my home! My neighborhood is known for drugs, gangs, and shootings!

I was not raised in this type of area and am not able to adjust to living in this type of area. I've been living here for a few years now, and I'm still, I guess, culture shocked! My childhood was more like the show 'Leave it to Beaver'. When I was married, yes, my husband was abusive, which I never thought I would experience, but we lived in a good neighborhood of people who had class, dignity, respect, were financially stable from a decent job, etc. A few years after my divorce, I decided to move to where I am now, even though I knew it wasn't the best of neighborhoods, I thought it would at least be affordable for me. But I can't adjust to living here.

[momofsix]

In defense of "ghetto" speakers
In school my dh was NEVER taught "proper" English. Because of his race/income/neighborhood it just wasn't expected of him at all. It's still very hard for him especially when writing to use past tenses on words when needed. (by the way my dh is a very smart man-college educated.) "Proper" English is really like a second language to him.
In talking to our dd's speech teacher we found out that they are NOT ALLOWED to correct "improper" English that is cultural. HOW the heck are these kids expected to go to a job interview and get hired when no one will give them a chance because they can't speak proper English? And I could go on forever now...

[NightOwl]

In defense of "ghetto" speakers
In school my dh was NEVER taught "proper" English. Because of his race/income/neighborhood it just wasn't expected of him at all. It's still very hard for him especially when writing to use past tenses on words when needed. (by the way my dh is a very smart man-college educated.) "Proper" English is really like a second language to him.
In talking to our dd's speech teacher we found out that they are NOT ALLOWED to correct "improper" English that is cultural. HOW the heck are these kids expected to go to a job interview and get hired when no one will give them a chance because they can't speak proper English? And I could go on forever now...

Wow. They aren't allowed to correct slang? That's amazing.

[permanentvacation]

Craftymom,

I don't have 2 pennies to rub together! I can't begin to move any time soon. I am stuck in this area for at least the next 19 months until my daughter graduates high school. Then I can move anywhere I want - or can afford. So I am just at the beginning stages of trying to figure out and make a plan on how to be able to move in 19 months. The cards are stacked pretty high against me though. I have 2 accounts in collections from having surgery a while ago and being out of work for about 6 months because of it. I was going to college, but recently decided to quit. I know that's a stupid decision as far as furthering my education, getting a degree, and being able to get a higher paying job with that degree. But, I realized that financially, I was racking up so much more debt, that it would just add to me not being able to afford to move. So I quit college to stop racking up college loan debt. All together, my current debt is $24,694.25. I need to get that paid off (or at least a good bit of it paid off) before I can move.

I have never moved all by myself. When I was 18 years old, I told my boyfriend at the time that I wanted us to move in together. He got us an apartment. Later, he and I got married. I told him I wanted to move from the apartment to a house. He told me to find a house. I told him what house I wanted and he got me the house! All I did was make sure that whatever papers he signed when buying the house, I also signed. I wanted to make sure the house was in both of our names. We bought 2 houses together and that's the way it went both times. When I separated from my ex and moved out of state, the first time, my sister was an assistant manager of an apartment complex. I just told her I needed an apartment, and she gave me one. The next time I moved out of state, my other sister was a manager of rental homes and I just had her give me a rental home.

I have NEVER had to move on my own accord! This is the first time in my life that I have to have my income and debt at an acceptable level to obtain an apartment or house. I have talked with a couple of realtors, mortgage lenders, and apartment managers in the area I would like to move to. They have all told me what their requirements are. For the easiest one, the apartment, I have to have $29,000 per year income. But they couldn't tell me how my debt affects me getting the apartment. However, I know that the more debt, especially, the more I have in collections, the more chance that I won't get approved. So, I am going to work on paying my debt off and fixing my credit score. I have no idea what I am doing, or how to do it. I just know I need my debt paid off, my credit score to get much better, and show a steady income of about $30,000. How exactly I am going to accomplish that, I am not sure yet.

In my daycare, I am now down to just one baby. His mother's friend wants me to watch her (will be) newborn starting between mid January to the beginning of February. The baby I currently have leaves early and the newborn baby will leave early as well. I might be able to do daycare for early pick-ups and work out of the house on evenings and weekends.

So, I am trying to get an evening and weekend job(s) to get more income. I have an interview at a retail store today. I think my options are (1) get a couple of retail jobs and work strictly out of the house, (2) get a couple of retail jobs and offer daycare occasional on days that I am not at my retail jobs, or (3) work daycare during the day for people who can pick up by 4pm then go out to work evenings and weekends.

My job history is; small business owner, working at one daycare center, retail management, and hotel manager. However, the hotel has since gone changed hands and there is no record of me having worked there and the retail management positions were so long ago that there are no records of me working at any of the past retail companies. So, I don't think I will be able to get a manager position because of lack of being able to prove that in my history. I am probably stuck with the lower paying retail or daycare center jobs.

I don't know. I'm going to go out there and see what I can get! And try to put together enough jobs that I can show the amount of income needed and am able to pay my debt off.

As far as the 'ghost' being a person. Every time I hear something, I look for a person, sign of a way that a person could have gotten in and out of my house, I have had my nephew, the police, and a teenage boy (friend of my daughter's) help look for a person and sign of how someone could get in and out undetected. But none of us have found anyone or anything. My nephew changed the locks on the house for my a long time ago. I am renting and the owner of the house doesn't even have a key! When noises and things were going on consistently for days, I would sit in my car outside in the front and back of the house watching, looking in the windows, and trying to catch a person inside or going in and out of my home. I never saw anyone. I checked my walls to make sure there aren't any false walls that would be a sign of someone living in my walls. All my walls are normal walls and the square footage of the rooms are the correct square footage. I don't know if it's a person or a ghost. I can't catch either!

[permanentvacation]

Momofsix,

That's sad. And completely unacceptable that the school is admitting to failing to teach the children properly based on the fact that the school doesn't expect them to amount to anything! WOW! Just WOW!!

As soon as I finished reading your comment, I thought that maybe that's what's going on in my area. I have sat in on my daughter's classes many times throughout middle school and high school and now that I think about it, I have never heard a teacher correct a child's grammar, mannerisms, etc. The only corrections they get are when they are sent to the office for fighting. Until you fight or cuss out a teacher, everything else about you is ignored and accepted as 'who you are'. Maybe the schools in my area have simply accepted that 'that's the way the general population is in this area' and are not willing to try to make them better themselves. That, to me though, is a school failing their students. I don't mean giving them failing grades, I mean failing to help the students become the best that they can be. Which is unacceptable in my opinion. I don't care what your past is, or what type of home-life you have. If someone takes interest in you, shows you that they believe in you, is willing to teach you, can build your self esteem up to the point that you believe in yourself and you are willing to learn, you can better yourself. That, to me, is what a school is suppose to be about. It's not supposed to not 'bother' trying to help the students become the best that they can be.

[Nikki85]

I have a parent like this. Not the yelling but just the way she speaks. Last week she unbuckled the baby from her car seat, picked the baby up and wrinkles her nose. She then Proceeds to hold the baby at arms length, handing her off to me and says, "Eww. She ****". (Sorry for the language ). Just the language alone was bad. But if you're going to talk trashy at least use proper grammar. "She took a ****" is what she should have said. Lol. Again, excuse my language, but this parent just gets under my skin

I know this is an old thread but this made me laugh out loud!::