DCB Getting Too Big

[renodeb]

Ok so I have this dc family the boy is 3 1/2 and the baby is 10 mos. old. I have had them for quite a while. When the boy got close to turning 3 mom asked me if I could take him on the days that he needed a place to be. (he goes to preschool 2 days a week. I said sure. A little time goes by and now he is 3 1/2 and getting to big for my place! The baby is here 2-3 days a week. The mom really loves having him here because I have everything here that he needs and when he goes to school she has to pack his lunch and stuff. She also doesnt want him in preschool ft. ( I think he could handle it). My other dc kids are over a year younger than him so its hard to keep the harmony. I also feel that he is bored here, (my dc toys are for a younger group.) I really would like to fill his spot with a ft child but I' am afraid that if I try and edge the boy out then the baby would go to and that would be to big of a hit. I feel really stuck. I really thought that him coming here would be temporary (after he turned 3) All the other kids that have aged out have left my dc completely. This is the first one that has stayed. He is a great kid but why to big for my dc. he is kinda rough when he plays with the other kids. I really dread when he gives up his nap. (suprised he hasnt already). I really fell like I painted myself into a corner with this one. I keep thinking mom is goona say something about it but she is in no hurry. I feel so awkward about the whole thing. I'm mad at myself for not clearing up mom's plans from the get go. To be honest I was flattered at first when mom wanted to keep him her but now its wearing a bit thin.
Thoughts?

[TaylorTots]

I'd start interviewing with the mindset of 2 full time openings (the older DCB and his infant sibling if you think DCM will pull sibling if you let older DCB go).

It sounds like you need the infant there full time, but could have one opening and still be ok financially? If that's the case - interview, interview, interview. When you have 1 full time lined up at least, term older DCB and if mom pulls younger sibling, you have the new enrolled FT'er to take that place and then interview more for the second opening? Or.... you could have 2 FTers lined up (this could work out well if you find younger siblings that need care) and then just term DCB and sibling, telling DCM that DCB is too old for your program and you understand her want to keep siblings together but have filled the spots with a better fit.

[rosieteddy]

I would tell mom that your program only goes up to 3.9,give her time to get him into the preschool full time.That being said are you ageing out your other children when they reach 3,9? I have the mixed ages up to 5 yrs everyone still takes naps and I just give the 2 older children more structure. What about finding a playmate for the 3 yr old?Maybe someone who attends the same preschool.just a thought.

[Shell]

One thing I've come to realize is that parents will keep a child enrolled in a program that works for them, even when they are older, simply because it works with their schedule. For example, I had 2 dcb's (same family) a few years back that were much older than the other kids enrolled. They were coming here around a preschool 1/2 day program, and soon it became just about full time. Anyway, after some time it was clear this program wasn't a fit, and I mentioned it to dcm. She wasn't interested in moving them, and I think it came down to cost and convenience. It was temporary until they went off to K the next year, so she just kept them here. Could that be your dcm's deal: it's just easier than 2 drop offs, she knows and trusts you, maybe you offer convenience she can't get elsewhere? Anyway, I would also give her a cut off age, giving her plenty of time to make arrangements, and I would also keep interviewing for two spots, just in case.

[CraftyMom]

Maybe add in some toys that are more suited to the older age? If he still naps and isn't causing trouble other than being bored, maybe try to cure the boredom?

My 3 yos LOVE puzzles, doll houses, cars and trucks, train track, dress up, for a few ideas

[renodeb]

Thank you everyone for the ideas and support. It has always been my practice to "age out" kids at 3 years old. I' am sure that it's a convenience thing. For preschool she has to pack his lunch . When he comes here she just drops him off. From what she has said they have a kindergarten there. Honestly I can't imagine keeping him here until then, thats way to long.
To be honest, it's not just that he is bored here. He has a hard time playing with the other kids because he is so much older/bigger. He's kinda a big kid. Build like a solid brick. The way he plays with my other dc kids is probably the way he plays at preschool. I find it to be to rough here. Af far as a cut off , I owuld say when he finally gives up his nap or 4 years old which ever comes first.
Deb

[melilley]

I too have a set up that's geared towards the under 3 crowd. I always "suggest" that their child is ready for preschool when they are 3 and potty trained. I just say that I think that they would do really well in a preschool setting, with peers of their age, since my set up is more for infant/toddlers. I have two 3 year olds here and I've suggessted this to their parents, but they want to stay. Although one of the 3 yo dcm's asked me to tell her if/when her ds gets too much because of him being older, but I don't have the heart to tell her, I just go to the old "he's definitely ready for preschool". I don't mind having him, but when the two 3 year olds are here, it gets a little much for me. 3's just aren't my favorite age group.

[Blackcat31]

Thank you everyone for the ideas and support. It has always been my practice to "age out" kids at 3 years old. I' am sure that it's a convenience thing. For preschool she has to pack his lunch . When he comes here she just drops him off. From what she has said they have a kindergarten there. Honestly I can't imagine keeping him here until then, thats way to long.
To be honest, it's not just that he is bored here. He has a hard time playing with the other kids because he is so much older/bigger. He's kinda a big kid. Build like a solid brick. The way he plays with my other dc kids is probably the way he plays at preschool. I find it to be to rough here. Af far as a cut off , I owuld say when he finally gives up his nap or 4 years old which ever comes first.
Deb

I'd maybe be honest with mom and just tell her that even though it's convenient for her, it's not the best scenario for daycare boy and for you.

I'd tell her you don't mind occasional care but your idea of occasional care is xx times a month/year etc.

Id also really express to her that ideally an environment where ALL the kids are younger is not helping daycare boy and that he could benefit far more by being in an environment that is more geared towards not only his age but his interests too.

[Controlled Chaos]

I would write in your handbook and include in your interviews that you age out at 3. That way it doesn't surprise parents and children who have come to enjoy you and may have a hard time moving on without it being a part of the understood fine print.

If you really want to keep the baby for now, I would **** it up until dcb turn 4, BUT tell mom you age out at 4 so she has time to plan for the next academic year. All mine nap or rest and I have several 4 year olds. Look into a few special puzzles, pre k workbooks, etc.

[renodeb]

Thanks controlled chaos for the ideas. I guess I just make it to easy to be here! ::