At home Daycare and Facebook

[concerned...]

I have been sending my kids (2 yo and 8 mo) to an at-home daycare provider in Massachusetts...we have recently had an issue where the provider has been posting on Facebook during the middle of the day when, clearly, they should be focused on other things. Is there any legal recourse (abuse/negligence) that can be applied here? The reason I ask is that our 2 yo has recently come home with unexplainable bruises...even a bruised lip. My wife and I were told that "its nothing" and that they had no idea how the bruises happened. I understand kids being kids and bumps and bruises happen all the time...but add in the element of Facebook...it starts to get a little worrisome as my kids aren't the only ones in this daycare.

If anyone has any experience in this area, specifically in Massachusetts and can provide any guidance, I would greatly appreciate it.

[dbslas]

Believe it or not providers are clearly AND legally allowed to post on facebook, or check their email, play candy crush saga, or sit on their bum for 5 minutes or 50 minutes or whatever, provided the kids are napping and safe/sound. Aren't you allowed time during your day to do similar?

Now the issue of inexplicable bruises and such on your child/ren, is a different animal. However, you weren't concerned enough about it and understood kids get bumps/bruises, but now that you see she posts on facebook all of a sudden she is abusing/neglecting the children in her care? If you don't feel comfortable and you are not able to communicate freely with your provider, then move your children. But please don't come on here and act like your provider is a horrible criminal for posting on facebook in the afternoon.

[NightOwl]

Is she posting nonsense on her personal Facebook page or daycare related stuff on her business page? There's a difference there. I post on my business page at all times during the day, sometimes two or three times and sometimes not at all. It just depends on what's going on that day and if I have a picture/cute story to share with the parents. If she's obviously using her personal page for gibberish many times throughout the day, then yes, that's concerning.

My bigger concern would be many bruises that couldn't be explained. If she's adequately supervising, then she should know where the vast majority of bruises come from. So she knows and doesn't want to tell you or she has no idea because she's not doing her job properly.

In any case, it sounds like you've lost your trust in her. Without trust, you'll never have a solid relationship with her and it may be time to move on.

[Cradle2crayons]

I post on Facebook, answer text messages, do email, reply on here, etc....

From my iPad... While sitting on the floor with my daycare kids.

I don't do it for more than a minute or two at a time, usually from my phone, usually during nap etc.

I don't think your issue is Facebook. I think the issue are the bruises.

But I'm also curious why you weren't concerned about the bruises until you found out about the Facebook.

Bruises ARE a part of that age group. But it does seem like you think they are due to lack of supervision. And they MIGHT BE. Or they might not be.

Either way, it seems like you need to be communicating your concerns with your provider.

[Cat Herder]

Sometimes we have to look busy at our desks so the kids will participate in imaginative play, cooperative play and learn to solve small problems for themselves. It is part of their emotional, social and intellectual development. It is called passive supervision (also works very well for parent having a problem getting their kids to bed .)

We can only do so many hours of work related paperwork, reading and planning before our brains turn to mush. We have very little access to adult conversation. Unless you want a drama queen provider who harps on every little thing you (or your children) do, because she has nothing else mentally to take up her time... you may want to look the other way on the social media from time to time. Mentally healthy adults with outside interests make for better, more level tempered, providers... :: even outside employers know their employees need a distraction every now and again, for the same reason.

Some bruises occur from natural consequences and are very common at that age. Now, If you said you had a non-mobile baby with bruises I would completely agree with you.... not acceptable and we would all be angry for you. But at two years mouth bumps, shin bumps, and knee scrapes are very common as they are extremely active, pretty uncoordinated and put almost everything in their mouths, while attempting to run , during this short stage. :hug:

[taylorw1210]

Sometimes we have to look busy at our desks so the kids will participate in imaginative play, cooperative play and learn to solve small problems for themselves. It is part of their emotional, social and intellectual development. It is called passive supervision (also works very well for parent having a problem getting their kids to bed .)

We can only do so many hours of work related paperwork, reading and planning before our brains turn to mush. We have very little access to adult conversation. Unless you want a drama queen provider who harps on every little thing you (or your children) do, because she has nothing else mentally to take up her time... you may want to look the other way on the social media from time to time. Mentally healthy adults with outside interests make for better, more level tempered, providers... :: even outside employers know their employees need a distraction every now and again, for the same reason.

Some bruises occur from natural consequences and are very common at that age. Now, If you said you had a non-mobile baby with bruises I would completely agree with you.... not acceptable and we would all be angry for you. But at two years mouth bumps, shin bumps, and knee scrapes are very common as they are extremely active, pretty uncoordinated and put almost everything in their mouths, while attempting to run , during this short stage. :hug:

[Play Care]

I have been sending my kids (2 yo and 8 mo) to an at-home daycare provider in Massachusetts...we have recently had an issue where the provider has been posting on Facebook during the middle of the day when, clearly, they should be focused on other things. Is there any legal recourse (abuse/negligence) that can be applied here? The reason I ask is that our 2 yo has recently come home with unexplainable bruises...even a bruised lip. My wife and I were told that "its nothing" and that they had no idea how the bruises happened. I understand kids being kids and bumps and bruises happen all the time...but add in the element of Facebook...it starts to get a little worrisome as my kids aren't the only ones in this daycare.

If anyone has any experience in this area, specifically in Massachusetts and can provide any guidance, I would greatly appreciate it.

How do you know she is on Facebook? Is it during naptime when kids are resting? Have you been popping in at various times and "catching" her not minding the kids? A provider can use the computer during down times - I often get emails and texts from clients during the day that require attention, or like others I try to update the day care facebook page so my clients can see their kids. So just being on a couple of times here and there wouldn't be a red flag.
That said, when I sent my oldest child to an in-home and it was clear the provider wasn't providing good care, I pulled immediately. It wasn't about getting her in "trouble" but more for the safety of my child.

[MyAngels]

Sometimes we have to look busy at our desks so the kids will participate in imaginative play, cooperative play and learn to solve small problems for themselves. It is part of their emotional, social and intellectual development. It is called passive supervision (also works very well for parent having a problem getting their kids to bed .)

We can only do so many hours of work related paperwork, reading and planning before our brains turn to mush. We have very little access to adult conversation. Unless you want a drama queen provider who harps on every little thing you (or your children) do, because she has nothing else mentally to take up her time... you may want to look the other way on the social media from time to time. Mentally healthy adults with outside interests make for better, more level tempered, providers... :: even outside employers know their employees need a distraction every now and again, for the same reason.

Some bruises occur from natural consequences and are very common at that age. Now, If you said you had a non-mobile baby with bruises I would completely agree with you.... not acceptable and we would all be angry for you. But at two years mouth bumps, shin bumps, and knee scrapes are very common as they are extremely active, pretty uncoordinated and put almost everything in their mouths, while attempting to run , during this short stage. :hug:

I agree with this, but it seems you may have some trust issues with your provider which should be directly addressed with him/her. If you cannot bring yourself to do that then it would be better for all of you to find another care situation for your children. If you decide to move them it'd probably be a good idea to avoid a Facebook relationship with your new provider to avoid this situation again

[Play Care]

I agree with this, but it seems you may have some trust issues with your provider which should be directly addressed with him/her. If you cannot bring yourself to do that then it would be better for all of you to find another care situation for your children. If you decide to move them it'd probably be a good idea to avoid a Facebook relationship with your new provider to avoid this situation again

[midaycare]

I take a few minutes here and there when the kids are playing. Not usually on Facebook, but here or on a gossip site *hangs head in shame*. I have kids who can play together easily for an hour without stopping. And while outside they ignore me. So I think it's okay to take 5 minutes to be on the Internet as long as I'm with them and still watching.

The bruises would concern me but I wouldn't be ready to tar and feather your provider yet. She should be able to explain them, and a bruised lip - that is a big deal, actually. Something must have happened, but probably more along the lines of your little one fell.

My son's doctor is always glad when my son has a bruise or two - says he knows then that he isn't just sitting in front of the television.

With all that said, trust your gut! If you don't think your children are safe, pull today. Right now. Go.

[Shell]

I post pictures of my dc kids throughout the day on my daycare Facebook page - there's nothing wrong with that. I can sit down, as I am doing now, and type out a message and/or post pictures all while sitting in the middle of a group playing, and I am supervising~ thanks to modern technology and an iPhone. Why is it that parents don't think we can multi task, or that we deserve a little "break" (while in the same room)?! I know tons of people that work in offices and are the first to " like " a picture, put up posts all day long, if you look at the timelines. To my knowledge, MA is not a state that has taken this right away. If you are concerned about the bruising, say something! If you truly believe your children are being harmed for lack of supervision, maybe it's time for a daycare center with cameras so you can see what's going on- that seems to be the new trend in centers around here- oh, and then parents post on Facebook about their kids they watched on a webcam at daycare, while they are at work doing their jobs!

[permanentvacation]

Do you literally sit and stare at your child all day and night when you are with him? I don't think so, you probably cook meals, go to the bathroom, do paperwork, and other things that you need to do other than just watch your child's every move. Your daycare provider also has other things that she needs to do besides literally look at the children all day. She has to prepare their meals, even if the parents provide the meals, she has to get their meals ready for the children to eat. Maybe the bruises happened during that time. She has to go to the bathroom, maybe the bruises happened while she was in the bathroom. She has daycare paperwork she has to do. None of us daycare providers sit and watch the children's every move all day long - we can't. We have other daycare related things we have to do which requires us to not be able to see their every move all day.

As far as her being on Facebook, like some other responses said here, sometimes we have to make the children believe that we are not paying attention to them so they will stop trying to be our best friend and instead start playing with the other children, pretending, become creative with the blocks and little people. Some children would rather sit and talk to the adult all day long then interact with others their own age. So, sometimes, we have to get involved in something non-daycare related so the children will simply go play with the other children.

Like others have said here, we daycare providers also need a mental break from our job a little throughout the day. At jobs out of the house, you can take a break from your desk and go talk to a co-worker for a few minutes. But at home daycare, we typically don't have co-workers, so our adult communication is either by calling someone on the phone who also stays home during the day, or getting on the computer for a few moments.

I understand that you, as a parent, are upset that your child got hurt and the daycare provider, who you are paying to watch him, has no clue what happened. However, you do have to realize that it is truly not logical to believe that she just sits and stares at the children's every move. You must realize that she has to do other things during the day and sometimes, a child will get hurt, bully another child, steal toys from another child, or something when the provider is doing something other than watching their every move.

I would suggest that you either trust your provider that she is doing her job correctly and know that sometimes, a child, yes, even your child, will get hurt. Or decide that you do not trust that your provider is doing her job correctly and find another provider. However, I can tell you that, anywhere you take your child for daycare, preschool, extra-curricular activities, in elementary classrooms, at recess in elementary school, basically, throughout their lives, they are going to get hurt at times, and whoever is in charge of them at the time will, occasionally, have no clue how he got hurt.

[midaycare]

I post pictures of my dc kids throughout the day on my daycare Facebook page - there's nothing wrong with that. I can sit down, as I am doing now, and type out a message and/or post pictures all while sitting in the middle of a group playing, and I am supervising~ thanks to modern technology and an iPhone. Why is it that parents don't think we can multi task, or that we deserve a little "break" (while in the same room)?! I know tons of people that work in offices and are the first to " like " a picture, put up posts all day long, if you look at the timelines. To my knowledge, MA is not a state that has taken this right away. If you are concerned about the bruising, say something! If you truly believe your children are being harmed for lack of supervision, maybe it's time for a daycare center with cameras so you can see what's going on- that seems to be the new trend in centers around here- oh, and then parents post on Facebook about their kids they watched on a webcam at daycare, while they are at work doing their jobs!

Excellent point. We don't really get a break. I don't get a lunch - that is one of my busiest times. Nap time break? What is that? I always have a non-sleeper or I am up with an infant. I have an 11-hour day non-stop. So when I take 5 minutes here and there when I can ... it's much needed.

[CraftyMom]

These days you can post a pic in less than a minute, while sitting with the children that you just took a picture of.

My parents LOVE seeing pics of their kids having fun and learning, so if I have a minute I'll post. I generally try to wait until nap, that's if they all sleep, and right now they don't so there is no down time other than a minute here or there while the kids play in the same room.

I don't know about others, but I often walk away from my computer or phone and fb or daycare.com might still be on my screen, showing that I am active, even though I am not. So if your assumptions are based on seeing that the provider is active, perhaps her screen is still open but she is outside playing with the kids?

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she isn't with the kids even though posting pics on fb. Where do you post from? Quite likely in the same room as your child.

If you have concerns you should first talk to your provider

[crazydaycarelady]

I completely agree with the others. I post on my business and personal page during the day. The kids may be napping or eating snack or in some other way occupied.

Also, your kid is 2yo. Bumps and bruises happen at that age. Have you never noticed a bruise on your child and not known how they got it?

Regulations say providers have to be able to see and/or hear the kids at all times. Your provider is fine and you need to get a grip.