Can 2 YO Learn Binky Is Not Welcome At My House?

[Blackcat31]

Thanks everyone for your input. I really don't know why I let myself get so stressed about it, but I feel so much better after reading your posts back, just feeling like someone else gets it and what it is like to deal with dcf's and kids. After reading a few replies this morning, we ended up having a great rest of the morning/afternoon.

I tried giving her a substitute one since hers was ripped in two places and I was worried about choking. She refused it, and even fell asleep for her morning nap without it since she threw it out of her p&p bc it wasn't the "right one".

I will discuss with mom. She is a school teacher, so I am thinking Christmas break would be the perfect time, but it's not up to me, so we will see.

I hope I didn't paint a negative picture about this family or myself in my OP. I think the issues (other than paci) have been building up. But like I said, somehow getting this all out has made me feel like I can stop sweating the small stuff, so thank you all for listening and helping =)

Sometimes educating the child is a ton easier than trying to educate the parent.

If DCG responds well and understands positive reinforcement, you could try making a sticker chart. Give her a star/sticker for every day SHE chooses to not use her paci at any time other than nap. You could give her two sticker if she includes nap time.

Give her some sort of "big girl" activity or game etc as a reward for choosing to be a big girl.

Each of my kids here has their own pencil box. The contents of said pencil box is dependent on each child's skill or developmental level. For example my kiddos who don't wear underwear do not get Elmer's school glue or scissors to use at their disposal.

I also have markers, colored pencils, chunky crayon, regular crayons, glue sticks and tape in those boxes. Again contents are dependent on each child's abilities.

I've had much better success at retraining the child than I have at trying to convince a parent to do or not do something. kiwm?

[Controlled Chaos]

I've had several that come in with a paci and immediately hand it over. They don't ask for it at all, all day long. Then mom walks in to pick up and the very first thing the dck says is "PACI!!!" Mom hands it over and the dck keeps it constantly until the next morning when they return. So yes, it's totally possible.

Yep, this is my home. Blankets, loveys ect. get handed over at the door. I return them for nap time and then take them when nap is over. Parents don't seems to care. I don't care what they do at home, my house my rules

And my kid is a binky addict. He is 2 (it is his comfort item totally) but he only gets it for nap and bed. If he is not feeling well, or gets hurt he cries for binky before momma But we are throwing all his out when he turns 3 in two months. He know it is happening...we will see how it goes. I would have done it sooner but my baby took a binky for 6 months (no doesn't want it anymore) and I didn't want to worry about him stealing hers if I took his.

[Kimskiddos]

I have a nearly 3yo kiddo that was weaned from his binkey here at 15m. He still gets it at home. In fact he walked in this morning with one in his mouth (only the second time that has happened here). I immediately said what is that in your mouth? You need to give it to Mom please. Mom was embarrassed and made an excuse about he must of found it in the car.

It was pretty easy to break his habit here, but like others once he hit 5-6m he only got it at nap times.

[nannyde]

I don't use binkeys for any age. I never have to deal with the detox.

[k.mcmahan2010]

I had a child who was 2.5 a couple years ago who used a binky at home, once he came to school he would put it in his cubby and not think about it again until his mom picked up. This year I have kids who are mid to older 1's. I have 2 kids who use binky's at home and not at school and 1 who we broke the habit at school and shortly after mom broke it at home. 2 of those (one that still uses it at home and the one who doesn't use it at home any longer) we allowed it for the first couple days of school, then slowly fazed it out. Only allowed it during nap for a day or so. Within a week or so neither of them used it at school at all. One even knows hers is in her cubby during the day. (The third that uses it at home, we just found out he uses it. Mom has never mentioned it and he's never came in with one, etc!)

[Meeko]

Can't stand pacifiers. I don't allow them in the house. At all. I make this clear at interview.

When my own kids were born, I made sure that the hospital staff did not give them one.

Before she retired, my mother performed oral surgery at the local hospital. Some of it was on kids who needed teeth/jaw surgery from excessive pacifier use. She told me she would dis-own me if I ever gave my kids a pacifier!

Babies don't need them. Parents WANT them. They are baby noise plugs.

Some babies have a need to **** more than others. They will usually **** on nothing, or find their thumb or fingers if they don't have a pacifier.

While thumb ****ing can sometimes bring it's own problems, the majority of kids stop on their own when the ****ing need lessens within a short period of time. This is something the baby chooses to do themselves.

Don't let anyone tell you that a pacifier ****er is better than a thumb ****er. Thumb ****ing is the child's choice. Pacifier addiction is the parent's choice.

A pacifier is a learned addiction, not a need. The baby is conditioned by the parents to feel they need it when in fact, they don't.

Of course, if the OP has happily let the child bring a pacifier up until now, it will be harder to explain to the child and even harder to explain to the parents that it is no longer allowed.

Expect the child to be upset. Expect the parents to have a meltdown

I just noticed that the child is bringing a pacifier with holes in it too. This is so dangerous, but mom and dad are obviously happy with that as long as the kid stays plugged.

[finsup]

My rules on them are if they are under 1 they can have it whenever needed. Over 1, the only time they can have one is at nap time. I don't mind them using it if it makes sleep time more peaceful I have a few kids who use them all the time at home and will come with it in their mouth but hand it to me as soon as they walk in the door. Then when they leave, if mom or dad wants to give it back, have at it. I start the whole weaning down to nap time only process at 10-11 months though so it hasn't been too hard. With older kids, I just say "those are for sleeping babies, you may have it at nap time" and ignore the requests if they become constant. If they start having a tantrum/screaming etc they need to go sit on the bench until they stop and can come play again. They'll "get it" it just may be a rough week or two before they do!

[Kindermom]

Thank you for all of your helpful advice.

Dad dropped off without pacifier today because he forgot "which is nice bc we are trying to not use it so much at home". He went on to say that they are not completely keeping it away but will take it away after she has had it for hours on end.

So far this morning she did GREAT!! She was getting tired during our craft and started asking for it. I put her down for her short morning nap without it and she was out within 5 minutes!!

Guess who gets a sticker when she wakes up? =)

So does this mean I should progress this way from now on? WWYD?

Happy Friday, all! happyface

[Kindermom]

My rules on them are if they are under 1 they can have it whenever needed. Over 1, the only time they can have one is at nap time. I don't mind them using it if it makes sleep time more peaceful I have a few kids who use them all the time at home and will come with it in their mouth but hand it to me as soon as they walk in the door. Then when they leave, if mom or dad wants to give it back, have at it. I start the whole weaning down to nap time only process at 10-11 months though so it hasn't been too hard. With older kids, I just say "those are for sleeping babies, you may have it at nap time" and ignore the requests if they become constant. If they start having a tantrum/screaming etc they need to go sit on the bench until they stop and can come play again. They'll "get it" it just may be a rough week or two before they do!

Thank you for the how-to!!

[Go play!]

All my kiddos who use binkies hand them over at the door and can have them for nap. When they are ready to get up they give them back to me. The parents are all amazed by it. When I start older kids, it usually takes a week or so before they quit asking. When I start infants, I only give them binkies when they are in bed so they get used to it early.