It Happened Again. 6 Month Old Death

[NightOwl]

Something is off in this story. Mom was already there and performing cpr when first responders arrived? Did dad call mom first and wait for mom to arrive to assess the situation and decide what to do? How else would mom beat the first responders to the scene? Unless she works very near dad's office. Idk. Just thinking out loud. Something seems fishy. I'm interested to see the next news story on this, which will have more details.

I'm with you guys. I call because I care and I'm a worrier. But I would be very unhappy if it was somehow made to be my legal responsibility to call. I am not responsible for a child who isn't even present.

What's next? Do we need to call to make sure they put their child in the car seat? Don't leave their child alone in the bathtub at night? Get their child out of the car when they arrive home? Should we call after bedtime to remind them not to put blankets in the crib with their sleeping infant? Where is the line drawn?

[daycarediva]

Someone needs to explain to me what is going on in the parents life to make them forget that they have an baby in the car. Asleep or awake. I'm getting tired of the he/she was distracted or "not my usual routine" excuse.

I agree.

I personally won't be responsible for what happens to a child while not in my watch (ie:before they get here). The parents are still responsible for that time. However, I text because I care, because I want to know if they're sick, or make sure they're coming, or sometimes maybe they overslept, or God forbid something worse happened. It doesn't matter the reason, if they are a half hour late when they normally show up at the same time everyday, then that gives me reason to be concerned, just because I'm human.

ETA: watching that video broke my heart, just broke it. How preventable.

I do the same.

I care very much about my dck and often call when someone is missing . But what worries me is that a law requiring providers to call parents will place all the responsibility on the providers and the provider will end up being sued because of failing to call within the required amount of time .
What would happen if Suzie is not here but I have a child who is sick and vomiting , I need to clean that child , keep all the other kids supervised and clean up the mess & disinfect the area. Then call the sick child's parents to arrange pick up .

Not an easy thing to do while caring for multiple children but then add in keeping track of time to call Suzie's parents to find out where she is . Maybe I call an hour too late because I am cleaning up the sick child and Suzie was already forgotten in the hot car and may not survive . That is not something I want to be held liable for . And I guarantee that the provider will be blamed and even sued because it would be their fault for not calling the parent .

I DO NOT want to be responsible for a child before they are even legally in my care! I have enough liability.

What about the kids with staggered drop offs? I have one who arrives anytime between 7:30-9. Depends on who is dropping off that day, if Mom has an early meeting, etc. I don't care about the schedule, although I could get one if I requested it from parents. My point is, for THAT child I wouldn't call until after 9. He could already be in a car since 7:30.

[Leigh]

IMO, a lot of this just has to do with our society being so busy and demanding. Employers are taking away vacation and sick time, making people work longer hours for less money, they're tightening attendance policies to the point that parents are terrified to stay home if they are sick or if their child needs them at home when they are ill.

Parents often feel that so much is expected of them as parents, too...they are afraid to take any time for themselves because they are afraid that more than 15 minutes away from their child will scar said child for life.

There's no time to relax, recharge, and let the mind slow down for some. These deaths will keep happening as long as our society allows them to. A good place to start would be with congress mandating paid time off for all employees, IMO. I truly think that the shift in employer attitudes toward their employees has a lot to do with the parents stress levels when heading to work that make them forget about their child in the backseat.

[Elko]

they are afraid to take any time for themselves because they are afraid that more than 15 minutes away from their child will scar said child for life.

There's no time to relax, recharge, and let the mind slow down for some. These deaths will keep happening as long as our society allows them to. A good place to start would be with congress mandating paid time off for all employees, IMO. I truly think that the shift in employer attitudes toward their employees has a lot to do with the parents stress levels when heading to work that make them forget about their child in the backseat.

I agree, but to add... I think a lot of people don't want to take time to themselves because they'll be judged by SOMEONE for not sacrificing enough for their child... I didn't realize how strong societal pressure was until I actually had a kid. It comes from everywhere and it's all so conflicting, but basically you end up feeling like you HAVE to do it all. Even though mom support groups online are full of people telling you not to worry about it, it's not really like that.

[MOM OF 4]

Someone needs to explain to me what is going on in the parents life to make them forget that they have an baby in the car. Asleep or awake. I'm getting tired of the he/she was distracted or "not my usual routine" excuse.

I think a lot of it is a way to get rid of their kids, personally. By "forgetting them" they think they absolve themselves of responsibility and it's not really considered "murder" (in their minds) I think only a HANDFUL of the stories where it was an honest mistake are true.

With all the knowledge about this HOW is this even still happening? And I disagree with making any law that makes a PROVIDER responsible for a child that is not hers while the child is NOT yet in her care. Providers have OTHER children to tend to that ARE in attendance and sometimes cannot just get to the parent right away. And then many times, the parent doesn't answer. So what do you do? Do providers call the police every time a parent's child is absent and hasn't called and isn't picking up? When WHEN will it be the PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY to care for their OWN kid like they are SUPPOSED to?

[Shell]

I care very much about my dck and often call when someone is missing . But what worries me is that a law requiring providers to call parents will place all the responsibility on the providers and the provider will end up being sued because of failing to call within the required amount of time .
What would happen if Suzie is not here but I have a child who is sick and vomiting , I need to clean that child , keep all the other kids supervised and clean up the mess & disinfect the area. Then call the sick child's parents to arrange pick up .

Not an easy thing to do while caring for multiple children but then add in keeping track of time to call Suzie's parents to find out where she is . Maybe I call an hour too late because I am cleaning up the sick child and Suzie was already forgotten in the hot car and may not survive . That is not something I want to be held liable for . And I guarantee that the provider will be blamed and even sued because it would be their fault for not calling the parent .

Exactly!

[Heidi]

Here in WI, we are required to call if they don't show up an hour after their expected arrival. Me personally, I usually call/text within a half hour. I care about my kiddos and I'd like to know if something is wrong if they aren't here on time.

NOPE!

We are required to have a policy in place. The details of that policy are NOT specified. An hour would be way to long, anyway. An hour in a hot car could be too late.

If someone gave you that info, they misled you.

My personal policy is 15 minutes. Then, I start calling. Still, I could see the day where someone doesn't show and I can't get to the phone. I think I need to revisit that policy.

[sahm1225]

It was a suggestion. Why be angered by it? What's a 10 second text to ask if everything is OK? Maybe a provider will take that suggestion and implement it and just maybe it saves one life.

It's not just a 10 second text. It's making it MY responsibility that the parent drop off their child. Where would it end? Should it also be our responsibility to call them when they get home to make sure they took the baby out of the car then? What about on weekends?

It's a sad situation, but taking the responsibility away from the parents isn't the solution. There have been lots of suggestions on what parents should do (put your purse near the baby, take off one shoe and put it with the baby, etc).

Providers have the responsibility to care for children already in our care. Asking us to assume responsibility before or after they are dropped off is not a reasonable request. What if, while I am struggling to find all the letters to send a text a child gets hurt while in my care? What if, I call the parent and while I am distracted on the phone, a child falls in my care? I can we the headlines already 'distracted daycare worker on cellphone while child breaks his arm!'

[jenboo]

My daycare kids don't have scheduled arrival times. They just show up abs or works great for everyone.
There is no way for me do know if they are "late " unless they don't show up by lunch time.

[Littlelearnersdaycare]

A 6 month old died in dad's car at a large company near me. The expert they interviewed on one of the news channels suggested a few things parents can do to prevent this, and at the end of her suggestions, she said:

"One other thing that could be done is a policy with their day care provider to call the parents if the child doesn’t show up as planned.
In so many of these cases, that one simple phone call would have been the difference between life and death for the child."

http://koin.com/2014/10/17/hillsboro-pd-dad-forgot-6-month-old-was-in-car/

So sad when these things happen. Imagine the suffering for these kids.

I am a daycare provider in wisconsin and BY LAW I have to call parent/guardian if they have not either notified me or arrived within 15 minutes of their scheduled pick up time. I thought this was a law everywhere? I have had to do this multiple times when parents are running late and forget to call or text me.

[Littlelearnersdaycare]

Here in WI, we are required to call if they don't show up an hour after their expected arrival. Me personally, I usually call/text within a half hour. I care about my kiddos and I'd like to know if something is wrong if they aren't here on time.

I'm also in Wisconsin and in my licensing book it states i have to call/text if they have not notified me or arrived within 15 minutes of scheduled drop off time.

[Country Kids]

The schools in our town are now calling parents if your child doesn't show up for school by 9:00. It is a policy and they have had to put it in place because so many kids are being absent from school.

Three weeks into the school year one elementary school had already had over 120+ absences!

I guess my point is if you don't call your child in absent the school is having to take it upon themselves to find out where the kids are. I guess if we are only chiecking on one or two that is much better then the amount a school would be dealing with.

[Rainbow]

The schools in our town are now calling parents if your child doesn't show up for school by 9:00. It is a policy and they have had to put it in place because so many kids are being absent from school

I guess my point is if you don't call your child in absent the school is having to take it upon themselves to find out where the kids are. I guess if we are only chiecking on one or two that is much better then the amount a school would be dealing with.

Schools having to call parents when children are absent, without prior notice, is not quite the same as a home daycare. Many kids going to school are walking to school or waiting at a bus stop by themselves. If they don't show up at school, that could indicate something happened between the time they left home and the time they were supposed to get on the bus/arrive at school. Or that they could be skipping school.

It's not like a daycare, where all of the kids are being supervised by their parent the whole ride there.

[Second Home]

Only our high school call us when a child is absent , but it is only a recording . So if the child was actually missing and the parent was not home to answer the phone they would never know because the recording just leaves a message.

[daycarediva]

Our school sends us a recording, too. I'm fine with that. It's MY responsibility to get my kids to school safely. The school takes over when they walk through the door.