Hugging...Do You Allow It?

[NeedaVaca]

I have never really had much of an issue with this before but lately it's becoming a "thing" with most of my dck's. They aren't really invading personal space because they all like it, I think it IS cute and love that they all get along! But...it's also starting to slow down pickups and with flu/cold season upon us I've started having them do high fives instead. What do you do?

[mskaykay]

Every year we get a group of kids who insist on hugging on and another as they leave. We no longer allow it. Not only does it slow down pick ups but heaven forbid one child didn't get their, hug their world crashes down on top of them. I have seen children go from classroom to classroom hunting down all their friends with their parents in tow just so they can hug everyone. We have 60 kids in our preschool, that's a lot of hugs! We know teach handshakes and high fives which they children don't think is nearly as cool as hugging each other so it have pretty much put an end to the endless goodbyes.

[daycare]

they can hug and kiss me, not each other. that is unless i am right there to supervise it.

for whatever reason huggin always starts out so sweet and innocent and then next you thing you know they are in a bear hold on the ground.

when we do apologies, we require hugs to our friends

[Cradle2crayons]

I allow it,depending on the group I have and their dynamics.

However, our local schools don't allow it at all. Even in kindy. They'll write them up.

[daycare]

I allow it,depending on the group I have and their dynamics.

However, our local schools don't allow it at all. Even in kindy. They'll write them up.

wow that is crazy, but i can see why they won't allow it.... when I was a teen and come to USA the first time I see all of the girls hugging just about everyone. There was one girl they did not hug and I will never forget the look on her face and her energy she gave off, it wsa soooo sad.... I am not a big huger, but I let the kids hug me as much or as little as they want.......

[AmyKidsCo]

I allow it, but I only have 7 in my group so it's not a big thing. I figure they're sharing germs all the time anyway, so what's the big deal?

[Kabob]

they can hug and kiss me, not each other. that is unless i am right there to supervise it.

for whatever reason huggin always starts out so sweet and innocent and then next you thing you know they are in a bear hold on the ground.

when we do apologies, we require hugs to our friends

This is exactly how it is here. One dcb insists on getting an apology hug from ds whenever ds wrongs dcb. It turns into dcb waddling after ds like a hug zombie and ds running in terror. Soooo....hugs are always supervised by me so I can mediate as needed. Otherwise I tell them they can hug me (even though I really am not a fan of hugging, I figure it comes with the job).

[Second Home]

No hugging here unless the hugger asks the huggie first and I am there . I have one dcb who does not like being touched .

[Blackcat31]

Mine can hug all they want as long as BOTH participants are agreeable but I won't entertain the hugging at pick up time.

Makes pick ups more difficult and complex than they really need to be.

I would say something light hearted like "I think Billy can leave without needing another hug. I think he's gotten enough already today! Let's just wave goodbye instead"

[kitykids3]

I allow it but they have to ask their friend if they want a hug. I have no problem with us sharing hugs and IMHO, they'll share just as many germs with a high five and playing next to each other than hugging. Plus, hugs have benefits to the body. :hug:

[Sunchimes]

Hugs aren't an issue here. I only have one dcb who hugs. He is autistic and has just recently started to hug. He only hugs me, so that's ok.

The 2 year old has rage issues, and if you try to hug him you are taking your life in your hands. You might get a hug back, you might get a shreik or a bite or a kick. DCB#1 doesn't even try, nor do I. He has to initiate it, and he rarely does.

Funny story. I have 2 kids 4 and almost 6. The 4 yo girl was one of my kids, but now, she's in school and only comes here with mom at pick up. 6 year old was a sibling, again, only here at pick up. Since the moms always hang around at pick up so that we can discuss therapists, etc, they made friends. WHen they left, they always hugged, and the girl would give the boy a kiss on the cheek. It was sweet, and both moms were ok with it.

School started last month, and the boy decided no more kissing. One day, his mom said that he had gotten really angry and fumed all the way home. So, I talked to the girl and told her that it made him feel bad and there would be no more hugging and kissing. She was sad because "he's my bestest friend", but she stopped. After about a week, he asked me why she didn't hug him anymore. :confused: Turned out he still wanted hugs but not kisses. I didn't share this news. Both are in school now where hugs aren't allowed, so it seemed like a good cut off point. They are still friends, but no more hugging. It's sort of sad.

[Hunni Bee]

I don't really like it, and only because I have almost all boys and it turns into wrestling after about ten seconds. My rule is you have to ask the other person, and they have to say yes. That curbs much of it, because they don't feel like asking. happyface

I have one who does what I call "extreme hugging" where he runs up to an unsuspecting victim and squeezes them til they scream. He has big issues with personal space amobg other things..and his friends always make a big deal about it, so he has no reason to stop. But I can't say I blame them, because he does it to me too and it hurts

[redmaple]

Out of curiosity may I ask why hugs are required when apologies are given? I have cared for children where this would cause further upset.

Sally invades Jane's personal space and bashes her upside the head with a toy. So shortly afterwards the adult insists that Sally must invade Jane's personal space again to hug her apology. Sometimes Sally is not wanting to do this willingly, and often Jane is looking pretty uncertain or verbally expressing a wish not to have her physical space invaded once again by someone who just hurt her. I've even seen when Sally out of frustration for getting in trouble because Jane got hurt, during the apology hug she acts out and hurts Jane again instead. I've also seen where an over excited Sally practically tackles the unfortunate Jane to the ground in her efforts to hug it all better too.

So what about the Jane's? What if they do not wish the physical contact with someone who as very recently hurt them?

[CraftyMom]

Out of curiosity may I ask why hugs are required when apologies are given? I have cared for children where this would cause further upset.

Sally invades Jane's personal space and bashes her upside the head with a toy. So shortly afterwards the adult insists that Sally must invade Jane's personal space again to hug her apology. Sometimes Sally is not wanting to do this willingly, and often Jane is looking pretty uncertain or verbally expressing a wish not to have her physical space invaded once again by someone who just hurt her. I've even seen when Sally out of frustration for getting in trouble because Jane got hurt, during the apology hug she acts out and hurts Jane again instead. I've also seen where an over excited Sally practically tackles the unfortunate Jane to the ground in her efforts to hug it all better too.

So what about the Jane's? What if they do not wish the physical contact with someone who as very recently hurt them?

Good point. I am always there for the apology hug. If I see or hear that the other child isn't willing I tell the offender "Jane doesn't want a hug, she is still upset. You can just say you're sorry and go play. Maybe she'll want a hug later."

[Play Care]

Mine can hug all they want as long as BOTH participants are agreeable but I won't entertain the hugging at pick up time.

Makes pick ups more difficult and complex than they really need to be.

I would say something light hearted like "I think Billy can leave without needing another hug. I think he's gotten enough already today! Let's just wave goodbye instead"

My policy as well.