Diapering Struggle

[KiddieCahoots]

What are your techniques to handling a dcb1yr that will not allow you to change their diaper?
I should probably add, this is not due to health issues, it is basically defiance and temperamental.
When I lay him on the changing table, he will look straight at me, then scream his dislike, while straightening his legs, to the point of arching his back off the table. It's always worse when he's tired, that's when he'll sometimes thrash and turn so I have to grab him to keep him from falling off the table.
Dcm has reported that he does it at home too, says her method of dealing with it at home is to ignore it so she's not giving him the attention he is seeking, but I've seen dcm's method of dealing with his inappropriate behaviors, for example when he hits her, she'll tell him to do nice, but then laugh and baby talk to him while she calls him a big freshy and kisses his hands.
So I know why I have the diaper struggle, just don't know the best remedy.
Suggestions please....
Thank You!

[AmyKidsCo]

I use a very stern voice and say NO, while grabbing their hands and feet to hold them still. I use a firm but not harsh grip and may just hold them for a moment so they realize I'm serious. If they start to struggle again I repeat the stern NO and hold them until they're still again. (Cover important parts so you don't get wet!)

[Angelsj]

I don't allow struggle on a changing table. Basically, hold them where you want them and tell them no firmly. Wait for the relax, and say, "good job" and keep diapering.

I have a one year old right now. She struggles and tries to turn over. I hold her hands and legs and tell her, "No, stay still." The instant she is still, I tell her, "Good job." and continue with changing. If she starts again, rinse and repeat. They learn pretty quickly that if they really want down, they need to let you change them. Otherwise, it just takes longer.

[KiddieCahoots]

I use a very stern voice and say NO, while grabbing their hands and feet to hold them still. I use a firm but not harsh grip and may just hold them for a moment so they realize I'm serious. If they start to struggle again I repeat the stern NO and hold them until they're still again. (Cover important parts so you don't get wet!)

This is exactly what I've been doing so far, but he's very persistent and stubborn. I'm rinsing and repeating, but it is taking me up to 20 minutes at a time to complete diaper changing this way, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better, and is very disruptive.

And yes, learned the hard way to cover those parts, he did tag me and himself.

[KiddieCahoots]

I don't allow struggle on a changing table. Basically, hold them where you want them and tell them no firmly. Wait for the relax, and say, "good job" and keep diapering.

I have a one year old right now. She struggles and tries to turn over. I hold her hands and legs and tell her, "No, stay still." The instant she is still, I tell her, "Good job." and continue with changing. If she starts again, rinse and repeat. They learn pretty quickly that if they really want down, they need to let you change them. Otherwise, it just takes longer.

When I finally get the relax and tell him good job, he goes right back into the struggle, instead of continuing on with relaxing. Kinda like the saying, if you give em an inch they'll take a mile. This is him.

[sahm1225]

I have some 'toys' that they only get during a diaper change.

Right now it's 2 markers (they love trying to take off the top), an I spy wonder tube (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004QO...X200_QL40),and a remote with no batteries.

[Kabob]

I had a couple wigglers at this age...I just used a changing pad on the bathroom floor then when they wiggled, it's not like they could fall and hurt themselves. Then if they fought me I just refused to fight with them....I'd place a hand on them to keep them gently there then calmly and without emotion say "no" and wait until they were still before even taking off the diaper. I would wait without looking at them while I kept a hand on them so that if they tried to get up I could gently lay them back down calmly and without eye contact. Then if they sat still I would repeat the process.

For diaper changes, I also would get a toy from the bathroom toy bin (bath tub animal toy for instance) for them to hold. These toys were only for changes so they were always special and interesting to look at and manipulate while I changed them and sometimes that was enough to get them to look forward to laying still for a change.

Basically rinse and repeat. For me, it's the same method I use for teaching to sleep on a nap mat. Calm, quiet, no emotion whenever redirecting them back to their spot. Make being wiggly boring.

Hope you find something that works for you! He sounds very persistent! I wish I had more ideas other than to echo what everyone else said..

[Leigh]

In this case, I would change on the floor. Open the diaper, spread the child's legs, and put my legs on top of theirs to hold them still. I have to do this with my own 1 year old-he fights me all the way if I don't. He thinks it is HILARIOUS to kick me while I am changing him and giggles and wiggles through the whole thing. When I put my legs on top of his, he quickly learned that his only choice was to sit still. If I don't do this, he puts BOTH feet into his poopy diapers every time (and since he gets 3 TABLESPOONS of Miralax a day, there are a lot of them).

[Angelsj]

All kids this age struggle. You just have to find what works. Some are good with a toy (this one throws it...), others just firm guidance. No matter what you use, consistency is the key. They do eventually get it. It just takes a bit.

[Hunni Bee]

My daughter does this...she hates to be held still for anything.

I just do the stern NO and hold her legs until she stops. She still does it every time, but I refuse to let her smear her poopy bottom all over

Also as PP said, I'd start changing him on the floor. You don't need him falling off the table.

[NightOwl]

I have one family where it takes both mom and dad to change dcb every.single.time. But for me, after much rinsing and repeating of the above, I change him with no problem. He used to put his hands on his privates as soon as the diaper came off, but stopped months ago with some firm guidance. Mom and dad changed him here one evening last week and I saw he still does it with them. I just give him one firm NO HANDS, and he stops.

[LysesKids]

In this case, I would change on the floor. Open the diaper, spread the child's legs, and put my legs on top of theirs to hold them still. I have to do this with my own 1 year old-he fights me all the way if I don't. He thinks it is HILARIOUS to kick me while I am changing him and giggles and wiggles through the whole thing. When I put my legs on top of his, he quickly learned that his only choice was to sit still. If I don't do this, he puts BOTH feet into his poopy diapers every time (and since he gets 3 TABLESPOONS of Miralax a day, there are a lot of them).

I have one that loves to try and stick feet into the poop... I use this http://www.amazon.com/PooPoose-Wiggl...r+changing+pad
and though it doesn't hold the legs for me it keeps them from rolling over

[Kimskiddos]

I use a very stern voice and say NO, while grabbing their hands and feet to hold them still. I use a firm but not harsh grip and may just hold them for a moment so they realize I'm serious. If they start to struggle again I repeat the stern NO and hold them until they're still again. (Cover important parts so you don't get wet!)

This is what I do also. I will also play a game of peek a boo with them by placing their pants or clean diaper on their face and when they (or I) pull it away say peek a boo all happy and excited. This has worked on a couple of kiddos. It's makes diaper time fun.

[KiddieCahoots]

Thank you for all the great advice everybody, you've helped confirm what I'm doing, and given me more tricks to put up my sleeve

Interestingly enough.....I had talked to dcm about this 2 weeks ago, last Friday, and then yesterday got more stern about it, where I informed her of my method to getting his diaper changed, step by step. Today, he's shown improvement, by giving in and relaxing, for me to get it done.