Help With 4 Year Old

[tenderhearts]

I have a just turned 4 year old boy in my care, he has been with me for 2 years. He's been a pretty well behaved child. Normally on days he acts out I can tell what its from, like long weekend, weekend at dads ect. However, lately he's been extremely whiny over everything, and has been very defiant. Everything you ask of him he whines or cries and when he has to be removed from group which is not "time out" it's sitting in book center for a relax time he just cries and screams.
He also does not like doing preschool activities, he just whines and cries and says he can't ect. I don't force them to do activities but he has a choice to do them or sit at the table or sit in book center.
I could really use some help with how others may handle a child like this please.
I try talking with him after his crying and he's calm but it goes right back to it later. Mom doesn't really have much to say other than he's been like that at home and hope it's just a phase.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

What would I do?

I would start the day by saying, "We are going to have GREAT day at school with our teacher and friends without any whining. Let's go have fun!"
He is 4 so he is aware of the behavioral expectations of your home. I would use because statements if he began.
"BECAUSE you are whining (fake crying/using a whining voice/an emotional hot mess), you need to go read a book."
I would repeat that phrase all day with a monotone voice if I had to. When he stops, even if for a second, I would say with a smile, "Please rejoin us! "
I would also give the phrasing to the other children to insert their feedback on how they feel so he could see how it effects them. "Whining hurts my ears! Please stop!"

Has anything changed in his home life? You mentioned dad weekends so is he spending less time with Dad these days? Is Mom spending quality time with him at home? I would ask about this. Usually if I get to that point it makes the parent stop and think and realize OH...I AM spending less time with Junior. Or, OH...he hasn't been seeing Dad as much.

[nannyde]

What kind of screen life does he have?

[tenderhearts]

Thank you, thats pretty much what i've been doing. There were 2 Mondays where book time wasn't cutting it so I put him down for early nap and he was an angel the rest of the day, I do think it's a lot of lack of sleep. Mom does interact with him a lot, I do think he gets away with stuff though. He spends about the same with dad, not quite sure why he acts different after being with dad for a weekend. Dad seems to be more firm with him where mom is much more lenient.
He is one of the few kids I have that does not watch much tv at moms anyways, dads I'm not sure. He's only with dad every other weekend.